Can a sex offender turn his life around?

Question

Society doesn't make it easy these days. You're listed on the Internet. Everyone knows what you did. How do you get a job? How do you get a place to live? No one wants you living next to them. How do you prove you won't offend again? Should they just commit suicide and be done with it? Is that what all of you want?

Or her life. Let's not forget school teachers.

All sex offenders, as far as I know, are required to participate in a group counseling program lasting at least three years. This is after they get out of prison. Most people don't know this.

One point I'm trying to make is, it used to be if a person committed a crime, they did their time, and it was over. Now it seems the punishment just goes on and on, with no end in sight. Is this fair?

Answer 1

As others have said, statistically sex abusers are incapable of change. But also, registered "sex offenders" include many, many people who are "offenders" only technically and who are a danger to nobody.

They include children who were playing "doctor"
http://www.fathermag.com/news/1768-incest.shtml (Swiss boy accused of interfering with his sister)
boys who marry their pregnant girlfriends who are underage
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=1121138&page=1 (Nebraska)
http://snurl.com/girl13 (no prosecution in this case but they were going to change the law afterwards)
and people who had naughty stuff on their computer out of curiosity and not out of perversion.

Also many, many other cases where recidivism was unlikely but sex happened once under unique circumstances (a teenage boy having sex with a mentally retarded neighboring girl, for example).

And there are all those miscarriages of justice: people convicted but factually innocent. Such as the McMartin trial and all the other Salem-type witch hunts of day care centers.
http://www.law.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/mcmartin/mcmartin.html

The New York Times recently ran an article on how Iowa laws prohibiting registered sex offenders from living near schools, etc. are making them homeless -- and harder to monitor.
http://travel2.nytimes.com/2006/03/15/national/15offenders.html?pagewanted=all
That is not the only practical problem with a sex offender law that seemed sensible at the time but has unintended consequences.

Then there are the Gary Glitters of the world who head off to Cambodia and Vietnam after they get out of jail. Or Latin America.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

They have drugs you can take to control the urges but it's really 2 mood stabiliers that bring down your sex drive and bring up your mood so you won't need to do anything offensive.
Secondly, since sex offenders have patterns they fall back on, they simply gett a job that doesn't involve that pattern. I.e. a child molester should not work in a school yard. They should work in an old folks home or they could work in a bar. You won't find a lot of women in construction or oil rigging or fishing or logging.
Housing, I can't help you with that. I think parents should watch their children a little more closely and stop relying on the government to protect them. When I was babysitting, they couldn't go outside at all unless I was there, even to ride bikes in a circuit on the driveway, for that reason.

Answer 4

The problem with the listings online, is they include EVERYBODY that has been arrested for anytype of sexual indescretion. Ex: a boy on his 18th b day, took a dare and went streaking through a girls locker room. He is also mandated to the "LIST". Another girl, was caught having sex in public, now on the list.
I think it depends on what the actual crime was. Who it pertained to, the degree of violence etc..if they can turn their life around or not.
If it pertains to children, then no. That may sound cruel and I'm sorry but that is an illness. Just like alcoholism, it can never be cured. Maybe handled but not cured.
If it was a violent rape, again, no.
The safety of my family is a lot more important to me then somebody who can't control himself.
Now if it was a crime of that shouldn't have been a crime, then I do think they should be removed from the list and allowed to get on with their life. Ex: cited above, or say a 18yr old boy has sex with a 16 yr old girl (in some states).
I don't wish death upon anybody, but as a victim I have to say people get off too easy sometimes.

Answer 5

I don't have the answers to all your questions, but I would like to share an experience I had a couple of years ago. I hired a handyman recommended by an acquaintance. When he came to give me the estimate, my small nieces and nephew were visiting. We agreed on the job; he then told me he could not work while the children were here. I immediately assumed he just didn't like kids or was perhaps worried they would get in his way or whatever, so I assured him I would keep them away from him. He looked me in the eye and explained that he was a registered sex offender and could not be in close proximity to children. He went on to explain that he had not offended in 20 years and still attended weekly support group meetings. I did not ask for additional details, but I told him how much I respected him for his honesty, and his commitment to avoiding re-offending. He scheduled the work after the children went home, and did an excellent job. I still continue to use his services when I need them. I hope that his example gives you hope and courage.
Good Luck and God Bless you!

Answer 6

its not fair it was also not fair when that person committed the offense on the other person. the other person has problems getting on with his or her life too. but you know i feel for the ex sex offender too. i figure the best way to get on with his or her life is to go to Chucho and be upfront and honest with your friends about what you did and try to be beyond reproach by never putting one self in a position were they can be accused of that crime again or make anyone feel threatened by him no closed doors. i bet if one would try to help others with the same problem it might win some trust. but unfortunately the stigma may be with him for as long as he lives. just a better reason to help others. like the apostle Paul who once tried to kill Christians then gave his life to do the LORDS work and help other Christians. a ex sex offender can only learn by the Apostle Paul

Answer 7

I think sex offenders can turn their lives around, but with the statistics many of them don't. It's only fair to let the people around them know that they have committed a heinous crime in the past. The only way you can prove you aren't going to offend again is to not offend again and go about living your life. Sex offenders don't have to commit crimes, but if they did and they got caught then they have to live with the reprocussions.

Answer 8

there are many different kinds of sex offenders. child molesters , rapists and some one who had an under age girl friend 16 or older, Depends on what offense was committed. But suicide is not the answer. Facing what you did and working on not re-offending is what you should do. Right now you sound very angry and are blaming every one except the one who committed the crime.

Answer 9

If one touches my child, he doesn't have to worry about suicide. I'll help him out!!!

Say your child is violated by one of these sex offenders:
Would you be okay with the pervert living next door while your son/daughter is outside playing?
Would you rather my child commit suicide so that it doesn't have to live next door to perverts anymore?
Is that what you want? To make it easier on these sex offenders?

They've had it way too easy in the past!! And these one time offenders have been getting away with all the other little sex crimes they've commited in the past (that haven't yet been reported).
We have a right to live anywhere we want to and to feel SAFE. I don't know about you, but that's the only place I do feel safe anymore, is in my own home & I be damn if anyone is going to take that away from me or my child.......So that a sick pervert can be happy and free?? PULEASEEEEEEEEEE
Actually, I'd rather spend my tax dollars feeding the blame idiots in prison.....behind bars like a caged up animal that they are!!!

Answer 10

I coworker that I was in charge of is one the list , and the reason he is there is his consenting girl friend and him had sex and her mother turn him in to the police on his 18 birthday she was 16 then had been have intercouse since he was 16 and she was 14 off and on. He lost in court cause the had done it after he turned 18. So is it possible for them to change yes in some causes. I know both people in that case I mentioned she even testified on his behalf in court.