Overcoming negative view of sex?

Question

Is anyone aware of particularly successful approaches to adult women correcting or overcoming a sex-is-bad influence brought on by catholic influences and co-dependent mother? It is ruining my marriage and psychologically holding my wife back from enjoying sex. She also has intimacy issues. My wife has seen a psychologist for 6 years and still cannot break this. Help!

Answer 1

this is the 1st time i've tried so hard to come up with a suitable answer. i couldn't think of anything that would 100% hits the bull's eye. but i think, other than psychologist, you have to assure her sex itself is good for keeping you two close together. it is a bonus in any healthy relationship and being married, you are entitled to have it. sure you don't have to do it every other day, but the absence of sex and enjoyment would ultimately create an unseen chasm in the intimacy of the couple, that might lead to frustration and bigger problems or eventually, divorce in the extreme end of the line.

religion is a big problem in this matter, especially one who is a dead believer such as your wife (i mean no offence).

Answer 2

Hmm, if six years with a therapist hasn't helped, I'm not sure anyone here can, either. But I'll throw out a couple ideas.

I think people who have been made to feel that sex is bad also feel that *they* are bad. You can help with lots of positive reinforcement to help your wife feel loved, beautiful, and safe. Tell her that she's beautiful and that you love her, but do it at times that are completely unrelated to looking for sex. Touch her in small ways that aren't sexual--holding hands walking down the street, putting your hand on her shoulder when your sitting on the couch watching TV. Help her feel it's ok to touch each other, and that everything you do and say isn't just part of your plot to get her to have sex with you more.

Take the pressure off. Tell her that even though sex is important to you, and you really want to be with her, you're in this for the long haul. You can wait if you have to (and mean it!). The two of you will figure it out together.

I'm glad she's been willing to go to therapy, but at the same time I wonder if this only reinforces her feeling that there's something "wrong" with her, that she's bad. If you're not going together, maybe that's something to try. Even if it's true that the problem stems entirely from her background, it's a problem that belongs to both of you now, so the help needs to be for both of you.

Answer 3

They give pills, taking away sexual desire to begin with. Seek christian counseling and a sex therapist. Heck that is the problem anyway, correct. Good Luck:-)
Finding Love, Keeping Love - The Loving Relationship Center
... guidance on how to achieve greater intimacy in touching, sexual relations, and ... How to master the art of marriage and achieve a lifelong, loving ...
http://www.achievement.com/enhancingintimacy.htm


How to achieve a loving sexual relationship. Good Luck. Hope this helps. Many more sites like it.
... thousands in the areas of relationship-building, self-esteem and sexual intimacy. ... shared his insights on how to achieve greater wholeness in relationships. ...

Answer 4

I think your wife is too close to you to help.You need to go to an independent psychologist. I have a relative with similar issued and it helped him. Apparently, he had self esteem issues too and once he felt better about himself and empowered, he was able to get better. It saved their marriage.

Answer 5

If your wife has you, her husband. Then why would sex be seen as bad? I must be tired because I don't get it.

Answer 6

Find a new wife.

Answer 7

try anti-depressants