I was with my sons's father 6 monthes and I got pregnant, he later dumped me and kicked me out when I was 5 monthes pregnant, stating he didnt love me and wanted to go date other women. We still saw each other alot, he showed up for the delivey and ended up watching our son so I could go back to work being that he was unenployed.I was hoping that we were going to work it out. He got me to add him to my insurance and never paid me, has never paid child support and he was still constantly insulting me. I put up with it b/c I still loved him. he ended up starting to seriously date his good friends daughter who I know well and is 12 years younger then him. heart broken, I booked a well earned trip to Mexico and he agreed to watch him while I was gone. Our son is now 4 monthes old and I called him Friday after work and he told me that as of now he is no longer watching our son his girlfriend may help and I dont like that then I need to figure it out. Now I am worried I will lose my job.
2006-08-26 16:01:43 · 16 answers · asked by Kelly K 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
you need to find a way to be with your son more often and make sure that you keep him as your main focus. the guy sounds like a jerk, so just focus on your wonderful son and your relationship with him. whatever it takes!
2006-08-26 16:05:51 · answer #1 · answered by mamabird 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Arg.
Go see social services. They will point you in the direction of affordable, qualified child care and help you pursue child support from the father.
Also, some attorneys will provide up to a 30-minute telephone consultation free of charge. I'd find some way to figure out what your legal rights are regarding your son and visitation in the state you live in.
In NC, visitation and child support are two separate issues. Just because the mother has sole custody does not relieve the father of his responsibility to support the child.
Also consider that, in most states, if you end up having joint custody, you will have to get permission from the child's father if you move more than X miles away (varies by state). Otherwise, you will be responsible for transporting the child back and forth to where the father now lives.
I know you might not think you can afford an attorney, but ask for the best and find one to handle your case for a flat rate, NOT hourly, and get yourself squared away NOW. The longer things remain unsettled the more of a precedent you are setting to have to battle in court. It may seem cold and callous, but just because you get awarded sole custody doesn't mean you have to enforce it (verify w/ your attorney in your state)... so your child can still see his father, if you choose.
Good luck!!
2006-08-26 16:16:33 · answer #2 · answered by girlnblack 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can have it his way. He can pay court ordered child support and you will be able to pay for a sitter. If you have to suck it up and let the girlfriend keep the baby, as long as she is reliable you may have to do that. First priority being your child and that would include keeping the job that you have so you can support him. Tough situation, sorry you're in it. It sounds as if he isn't a good father, he just wanted to appear as such to begin with. Eventually everyone's true colors come through. You are in emotional pain right now but in the end you will be eternally happy that the two of you didn't work it out. As it stands, you may qualify for subsidised daycare until you can get the support out of him.
2006-08-26 16:11:32 · answer #3 · answered by justme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact your local social service, they'll be able to provide you with information on affordable child care. I'm was in the same situation, and there's a saying "momma's baby, daddy's maybe".
It took a lot for me too accept the idea that my child's father was an (expletive).but you learn to suck it up. You HAVE to work, You DON'T NEED him to look after Your child. Always try to remain Civil, I know it may be hard, and seem like it does no good, but you will be able to maintain your sanity if you don't hold grudges. Definitely take him to Child Support Court. Any way, I could go on, and on, but I won't. You will be FINE! Just remember babysitting does NOT a good father make. You Just have to handle your business, and that IS FIRST AND FOREMOST YOUR SON!!! F**K him.
2006-08-30 13:50:21 · answer #4 · answered by imperial1931 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it doesnt seem like he is even a very good father. If he isnt paying you child support, then you need to take him to court and get that money from him. Even if he is taking your son at times, he should still support your child. It seems as though you are paying too much for him and you need to stop this. Like I said even though he is taking your son it seems like he may just be handing your son over to his new girlfriend. If this is something he is going to do everytime your son goes to his house then you need to bring this up to the courts. Well good luck with all of this.
2006-08-26 16:27:12 · answer #5 · answered by Monkeygirlwi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...first..don't panic!!..second...I don't see where is he a good father?? just because he watches his son that doesn't make him a good father. Since he is not looking after your son, you can tell him you will seek for child support..and if he is not working now he should start looking for one because you will getting for back child support, he will not like that...he either tells you he'll watch his son again or find a job. Try to find someone who can help you getting the child support and that at least will help you pay for a daycare. Make your son and you the first priority, don't let anybody to treat you like he has.
2006-08-26 16:11:44 · answer #6 · answered by fun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off take him off your insurance dont help the bum second if he is not going to pay child support he is not a good father. Making you do everything on your own is not fair to you my advice is ask a friend or family member to watch your son go to mexico get a tan come back refreshed and find yourself a real man! Good Luck!
2006-08-30 13:48:35 · answer #7 · answered by Courtney G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, you need to just forget the jerk!! second, relax and know that there is help for single moms out there. you can get your son into a good daycare while you work and the county usually helps with the bill. lastly, take his a@% to court and get your son some support. if he wants to go back to work and screw you over on being your sitter, than take that money hes earning!! stay strong and only focus on you and that sweet baby boy!! keep your head up, and things will look up.
2006-08-26 17:08:20 · answer #8 · answered by hotmama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Take him out of your insurance
2. Take him to court for the unpaid child support.
3. Find a good babysitter...
4. Do not let him see the baby until judge decides when and where he can see the baby.
And remember, the main thing in your life right now should be your baby.
2006-08-27 00:32:54 · answer #9 · answered by lilly_mom_pr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has nothing else to do and won't watch his own son, then he really isn't a good father. Hopefully, you will be able to pull yourself up and move on. Do you really want your ex to have any type of influence over how your son will end up in life? Good luck.
2006-08-26 16:16:01 · answer #10 · answered by northcoastjunior 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋