I have this great guy. Only thing is, the excessive drinking. I'm no prude, I drink socially, but he seems to be out of hand. He told me he was worse before he met me, and that I have no reason to confront him. He drinks before bed, if we argue, whenever he goes out or when he's had a bad day. And its not just a few beers, its ALOT. How can I safely approach this without him accusing me of overreacting? I think if his own mother has said things to him before, that I'm not. But how can I say it? I love him with all my heart and I don't want to see this progress, or have something awful happen to him.
Serious answers only.
2006-08-26 15:44:22 · 5 answers · asked by noxregrets 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Thank you all for the responses! I feel as though I may be slightly overreacting, but I guess it doesn't hurt to be concerned. I'll talk to him about it and we'll take it from there.
2006-08-26 16:30:26 · update #1
Try talking reasonably and rationally, you don't want to approach this situation to strongly, but you don't want to beat around the bush either. try to refer him to some help if it's as bad as you are making it seem, be sure to tell him that your only doing this because you love him and that this is what's best for your relationship, do this when you are completely sober. Be very calm, you don't want to make him mad so be very careful when telling him this. If he refuses help and is sure that he is fine. I'd try to step off for a while tell him that you can't go on like this.
2006-08-26 15:53:03 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a recovering alcoholic. To be 100% honest with you, you can not do anything. You might not want to hear this and he definitely doesn't want to hear this, but he is an alcoholic. When he says that he was worse before he met you is just a lie. He will continue to progress in his drinking until either he decides to stop and change his lifestyle or until he kills himself. You are the one with the choice here. You can either leave him or you stay with him and continue getting abused. When I say abused, I don't mean physically but emotionally. This is his problem and only he can change it. I have been through this same situation in my life. I totally changed my lifestyle to become a recovered alcoholic. It wasn't easy by any means, but it was the best thing that I could have ever done.
I hope everything works out for the both of you. Good luck.
2006-08-26 23:21:21 · answer #2 · answered by southernmuncher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excessive drinking will turn him into not such a great guy. You need to tell him how it is and how you don't want to be with someone who drinks like that, but you do want to be with him. You need to be straight-up and if he thinks you're overreacting, it's because he has a problem and he needs help. Take my advice and don't be with someone who has a drinking problem, I know many ppl who can tell you the same from personal experiences. Try to help him but if it doesn't work, get out.
2006-08-26 22:55:49 · answer #3 · answered by *♥T0mb0ygirlygurl♥* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, this guy needs help. More than you can give. I'd ask him to start attending AA meetings or to go into an alcoholism program, and if he refuses... I'd leave. He cannot have a true, fulfilling relationship with you while he's dealing with alcoholism.
Best of luck to you.
2006-08-26 22:51:09 · answer #4 · answered by *huge sigh* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant do anything about it my husband of 12 years is a bad alcoholic and we have been in some ****.trust me either Dael with it and learn to live with it or get out quick.you ll never change a man that drinks listen to woman that lives it every day of my life,good luck and god bless.
2006-08-26 22:56:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋