we have been together since freshman year and now we are seniors and i think he expects me to know the right things to say because we have known eachother for so long, but the truth is i have never lost some one before and him and his dad were really close. so please if you have any idea on what to say please help me
2006-08-26 15:10:36 · 19 answers · asked by mercyp 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Just be there for him. Tell him that you are so sorry for him and his family. Be there even after the funeral. He will need someone even then after the funeral. That is when it will probably hit him, after the funeral and the luncheon. He will need you there. He will be grateful later for it. He may not show it right away, but he will be forever grateful. That is a time that no one else will be able to do for him. He will remember who was with him during the time of his father's funeral. Good luck.
2006-08-26 15:19:10 · answer #1 · answered by ?Shannan? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have lost my baby's they were stillborn. Nothing made me madder than people saying they knew what I was going through. I think what you can say is " I don't know what your going through" but I am here. I am so sorry you have lost you Dad! I care deeply and I am here.
I want you to know that I wish I could make things different and I can't but I can be here to love you, listen, help in anyway I can and support you. There are no magical words, he doesn't think his Dad is in a better place, he want him here with him.
You can continue to be supportive, he will probably go through a very angry and confused period, just let him know your there for him. Be extra loving and listen your heart will give you the words.
Good luck and I am sorry for both of you!
2006-08-26 22:23:01 · answer #2 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beyond saying you are so very sorry there is not much that you can say that will help in the first few days. Try to encourage your boyfriend to talk about his dad (happy memories) and just be a good listener. Your boyfriend just needs a safe place to express himself right now.
2006-08-26 22:17:52 · answer #3 · answered by Puzzler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing I can think of is..time does not heal but it makes the hurt more bearable...more then you saying anything I'm sure he just wants you to be there for him, let him talk, cry, vent whatever he needs. Make sure he knows how much you love him, I'm sure he's feeling pretty lost right now, let him know you're there by him all the way.
2006-08-26 22:14:45 · answer #4 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the best thing to say is, "I'm sorry." I have lost a lot of people in my life, and I still am at a loss for words when it comes to these things. Be there for him. Listening to him is the most important thing. Sometimes when you're grieving, you just want people to listen.
2006-08-27 01:49:04 · answer #5 · answered by GSDoxie3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the best thing you could say to him is that you are there for him. Hug, comfort him if he needs it, and let him know you love him.
Everyone deals with grief in a different way, so it would be hard for someone to tell you what to say.
If you love him, just being with him during this will terrible time will speak volumes.
Good luck
2006-08-26 22:16:40 · answer #6 · answered by Canadian Ken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you that you don't know what to say. Offer to be available to your boyfriend if he ever wants to talk with you about how he feels. Grieving is a purely subjective experience, there is no right or wrong way to feel or act or think when someone dies. Death happpens to every living thing. Death reminds us to be aware of our day to day living and how important it is to spend as much of that time as possible living the life you want for yourself.
2006-08-26 22:32:07 · answer #7 · answered by youought2knowme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know your boyfriend but I imagine the best thing you can do is to be there for him.
Sometimes actions say a lot more than words. Listen to your boyfriend! People grieve in different ways.
Encourage your boyfriend to obtain grief counseling, it helps!
My prayers are with you and your boyfriend!
2006-08-26 22:19:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone so far has given a lot of good advice. Just stay with him and let him know that you're there for him :-) I'm sorry to hear about the passing of his father and offer my condolences to you both.
2006-08-26 22:28:43 · answer #9 · answered by Porterhouse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what? Sometimes saying nothing is the best thing you can do.
Saying "He's in a better place" is NOT helpful. What is most comforting is just being with him. Being there. Hugging him, holding his hand, whatever. Just say "I am so sorry." and "I love you" and "I'm here" is all he needs.
2006-08-26 22:14:40 · answer #10 · answered by Ralley 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋