Why don't I have good social skills?

Question

Alright I am a paranoid schizophrenic, so this probably answers my own question. However on the internet and around most of my friends I'm fine. But in public or new social settings I fall to pieces. I am more concerned about whats going on around me that I have a hard time concentrating on a conversation. This has totally effected my life, and it started while in the military. When I'm with family or closest friends everything is fine, I communicate fine. Around people I don't know to well it's like........uh, duh, hows it going?...............I always sound real stupid. Anyone else go through this?

Answer 1

What you're saying makes perfect sense. Around those you know, things are safe and predictable. In public there is a lot of outside stimulationa and action and stress that would certainly make it harder to feel comfortable. Having schizophrenia of the paranoid type does not mean you can't develope great social skills and increase your comfort level. It is just one aspect of you like a heart condition or any illness, not a definition of you at all. Don't sell yourself short! I think there are about a million ways to not feel so self-conscious, but maybe your diagnosis has affected your self-esteem and THAT is some of the problem in social situations, more than the schizophrenia. I love it that you are thinking this out. Once you define a problem, then you can move right on to the solution. Good for you!

Answer 2

To some extent, even i am having the same problem. My social situation has become like a nil baring few people who, i think, have their own selfish motives to be still hooked to me. People don't tell me i am bad person or anything negative, just i am not made for socializing. Sometimes it may suck but i have learnt to live with it, infact to some extent i am even enjoying it. I have made my life less and less dependent on others. I go for movies alone, go for shopping alone, and made myself more hooked to many informative ideas and skills, which always keeps me busy. In fact by this i have made me so much well aware that people have started seeking my advise about various issues and this makes me feel happy.

Sometimes you may feel the lack of a companion when you really want to share some ideas, your problems, or happiness and its really painful to see nobody around you. This may be depressing sometimes but i really don't think i can change myself. Its better to stay little aloof rather than making a fool out of ourselves.

people say, now i am being young, this won't effect much, but in a long run it is not good, but things might change by then and keeping a positive idea also helps it these situation

Answer 3

Not I. I don't know how you came up with that diagnosis of Paranoid Schizophrenic, but, I'd wonder if there wasn't a history of family problems in your youth, and other diagnoses might be appropriate as well, or instead. I am a retired mental health professional with 20+ years experience in psychiatric outpatient treatment, among other treatment areas, and I think I hear other diagnostic probabilities here as well, or instead. But, whatever. But I bring it up because if you have been getting treatment for whatever, making sure of a good or correct diagnosis is paramount, and oftentimes I've seen diagnoses given out of a lack of knowledge of the full array of issues to be considered, and testified in court in such matters on several occasions, and I'd want to make sure you had the best diagnosis so that you could find the best treatment, which may not include psychiatry at all. But then, I'm retired, so why should I worry, huh. God Bless you.

Answer 4

with what you mentioned in a different question, I'd asayu that the military did this to you. I have the same problem. I always want to maintain situational awareness and personal security. I am always scanning a room to see what is going on. If you can ever figure out how to control this, let me know. I could use the info as well.

Answer 5

I feel the same way about my social skills. Some of the contributing factors include: Being raised by parents, who, despite being nice for the most part, had rather bland personalities; being deprived of the opportunity to develop my social skills during my formative years; preferring music to movies, television and comedy (where I could learn from others); and being overly concerned about how others perceive me rather than just "letting it flow", thus making me less sociable and "open" than others.

Answer 6

Often what helps social situations work better is to be honestly and earnestly interested in the people around you. Not scary interested, but curious about them as people, how they perceive and interact with their world. Ask them questions, respond with other questions, tell them anecdotes about your life when it strikes a similarity. But recognize them as people rather than a social goal. It's a start.

Answer 7

Sounds like you have some anxiety around people. When you get kinda nervous you change conversations fast...ect. the underlying cause of this is depression. I had this too. I thought , no way am I depressed. You dont have to feel sad or lack of energy. Talk to your psych doctor about this. Its natural to have depression when you have another major medical condition like being a schiz.

Answer 8

Get outside of yourself. You are too self absorbed. Truly find things you like about the people you're with ... concern yourself for their comfort and well being. The more you like them ... the more you will treat them like family.

Answer 9

yep, I have to get myself mentaly prepared when I am going to a social setting you can go to thearpy for it but all he is going to say is " see your self going to this place or talking to this pearson . Can you see yourself doing this " If not get more relaxed and try again ect.. that all he does and If it is real bad they can give you meds for social anxity Zoloft I belive anyway.. It isn't just you...

Answer 10

I think i'm having the same problem.....it's very hard for me to make new female friends....