please help ive been obsessed for 6 years over my ex girlfriend i was with her for about 7 years and she left me ime not 100% sure why but anyway i have not been on a date in over 3 years and have not had sex in probably 4 years this is sick isnt it please serious help only may respond to this thanks
2006-08-26 14:40:44 · 12 answers · asked by Iknow 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am in similar situation, as I have been separated from my husband for two years. I could manage to have a few dates with reasonable emotional involvement and good quality sex, but I just cant stop talking to my ex husband. He has told me to get lost quite a few times, and I just dont feel ok if I dont talk to him, at least about the important events on either my life or his. It is a problem, I wont foolish you. I dont want to scare you either, and I tell you this with most respect, because that is what I have been telling myself: we have to change. I have been to a therapist, and also started attendend yoga and meditation classes. Meditation is a powerful tool on 'letting go' of potential obsessive (you have used the word yourself) thoughts and patterns of behavior. Invest on yourself. Give yourself a chance. The fact we have problems does not mean we can not become better people!
2006-08-26 14:48:12 · answer #1 · answered by Graça 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't let go because you do not want that part of your life to end. Sometimes, we hold on to something we enjoyed, even though it is over, because we do not want anything to change or because we don't like the thought that someone truly rejected us. We feel that letting go is like giving up. Here's another way to look at the end of your relationship. That relationship only exist for you learn some thing about yourself, experience something that you would never experience before, or to prepare you for the person who you really belong with. Not all relationships are meant to last. Some relationships are transitional relationships. Sometimes, once the objective of the relationship has been meet, the relationship can no longer continue and it is time to move on. Think of your pass relationship in the context of the lessons you learned about yourself, relationships, and what you gained. Then, start apply that knowledge to how it is going to help make your next relationship all the better.
2006-08-26 15:56:29 · answer #2 · answered by TIA MARIE 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The reason you're obsessing about her is you don't have any closure. She has been in your life for 7 yrs and you're probably always wondering why the relationship didn't work out. If you know where to contact her, it would be a good idea to see her or talk to her for one last time just so you can have that closure and move on with your life. Either way I see it, you will just have to go on and not put your life on hold any longer.
2006-08-26 14:50:13 · answer #3 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is time for you to talk with a therapist. You were in a long term relationship and that can be very difficult to get over. Given that you have no idea why she ended the relationship may also be another trogger that is keeping this alive in your heart and mind. It is difficult to move on when there are still unanswered questions. I do think speaking with someone about your thoughts and feelings might prove to be a healthy outlet for you right now, and get this woman out of your system.
2006-08-26 14:49:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 29 now and have been for the better part of 12 years trying to find an Ex GF.. I am married.. (At least for now) but I still always wonder where she is and what happened to her.. I think about her every day still.. not in an obsessed way but at this point just curiousity..
2006-08-26 15:25:13 · answer #5 · answered by althor989 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah. You might need to see a therapist and work this out. I understand this is a loss that you have not been able to get over. You may never, but you can not continually have feelings of hope that you will one day reunite. You need to get it through your head that she will NEVER come back to you first, just let that sink in and keep telling yourself that. That it is OVER, she will never come back, there is no hope, she has moved on, she doesn't love you anymore, etc.
Then when you have finally let that realization sink in for a few weeks of meditating on it. You need to go out and get yourself some nice new cloths, start working out, start taking care of yourself, get a nice haircut, buy yourself some nice cologne and start making connections with friends and trying to go out and have a good time. Start to flirt, start thinking negatively about the other person, that she wasn't as attractive as that girl over there or wasn't as smart or friendly as this girl I'm talking to now, etc. Start painting the old news past GF in a bad light and start painting new girls in a nice light. Be open to new prospects and if something comes from it good. but it will take time and you need baby steps right now. Take care of yourself first and remember: there is no hope, she doens't love you, she has moved on and now you need to too.
2006-08-26 14:52:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a long to be obsessed with someone. You need to get over it. There is someone out there for you. Sounds like you werent the one for her. Well treasure the good memories and move on to the future. We all make mistakes. You only live once dont wait. get over it.
2006-08-26 14:50:34 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say try to contact her, maybe if you see her again you would realize that you are obsessed with a memory . She have to be different now, have another life, maybe when you realize that you start to have a normal life. If not, seek professional help.This is very unhealthy for you and you need to move on, you deserve to be happy too.
2006-08-26 14:52:18 · answer #8 · answered by None 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either try and get in contact with her again if your obsessed with her so much, but I doubt she might want to talk to you again if she broke it off with you.
Go out to clubs and bars. Find and meet new people, there is someone else out there perfect for you remember. Don't waste your time over the one person, you could be spending the rest of your life with someone 1000 times better and that makes you twice as happy.
2006-08-26 14:45:07 · answer #9 · answered by xplug_in_baby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop thinking about her and find someone who can love you and you them. Remember the reason she is not in your life and stop wondering every second of the day what she is doing. Get out more live life while you can and stop allowing this person to control you so much with thoughts of her///
2006-08-26 14:56:26 · answer #10 · answered by Rickstar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋