why do women INSIST on berating thier mates?

Answer 1

You got to be kidding, I have the most wonderful, hard working, hunky husband in the world!!!

Answer 2

Not ALL women berate their mates, just like not all men berate or abuse their mates. DON'T categorize every woman into the same category when you DON'T know every woman on earth.

If all the women you know berate their mates, then you don't know the right women and are meeting them in the wrong places. You are falling for the wrong women. I refuse to berate my mate/fiance, no matter what. My ex husband I will do that to pretty much anytime because he is a total loser (liar, cheater, drug user, abuses women and children, sleaze ball, sex addict, etc). HE deserves to be berated. But, I don't know any other guys that deserve it so I don't berate them.

Once you realize that you are meeting the wrong women and you change where and how you meet them, you will find ones that don't berate you.

Answer 3

My experience is that if a woman continuously berates her mate (and assuming it's a guy) there are usually important men from earlier in her life with whom she is very angry. Those men are usually unavailable for her to attack so she chooses the man who is most available, her mate.
However this is not going to help the guy much, because if he says this, she will probably just get angrier. The best thing for the mate to do, IMHO, is to draw clear boundaries with the woman in question along these lines: she can criticize what her mate says and does, but she should not be allowed to attack his person. For example, acceptable criticism: "Honey, I do not like it when you leave your socks on the floor instead of putting them in the hamper." Unacceptable attack: "You are such a pig. Didn't your mother teach you to clean up after yourself?" To maintain these boundaries the mate is going to have to do a few things himself. 1) He must be willing to consider honest criticism and if he agrees that the criticism is correct, change his behavior. 2) He must not attack HER person: "You B****, stop your whining!" 3) He MUST respond; no hiding in the doghouse. 4) He must remain calm as he responds. For example: "Honey, I see that you think that I am being inconsiderate by leaving my socks on the floor and I am willing to consider it. However, it was very unkind of you to call me a pig and I don't think this conversation can go forward until you apologize." Then, he must stick to his guns. Good women respect a man who can draw reasonable boundaries AND accept constructive criticism and will eventually calm down and be willing to talk. If she's a bad woman, well, she will probably continue to attack her mate and he must continue to draw boundaries and eventually she will give up and leave him in some way (i.e. form an addiction to drugs or shopping or go have an affair, etc, etc). It's a tough ride, but if a man is willing to go through with it, it has its own rewards. Heck, sooner or later, she might even, in a calm moment, tell her mate about the man (or men) who really hurt her and the mate can show real compassion and prove to her that all men are not pigs.

Answer 4

Can we not start woman bashing? I think to put all woman into one category shows how small minded you are. Some women do berate their mates, as well as some men. As to why either do it, my guess would be insecurity and the need to feel empowered by attempting to control another human being.

Answer 5

Not all of us berate our mates. My husband is a good guy, and I let him know I appreciate all that he does for me.

Answer 6

Maybe because sometimes we want someone that cares about us really listen and communicate instead of nod head and pretend they're tired.

Answer 7

Because their mates refuse to change the way that their counterparts want.

Answer 8

Because misery loves company.

Answer 9

They believe that if they carp on long enough, the man will change

Answer 10

They don't want to stop.
They would rather keep doing it, than open their minds and get help themselves.