My alcoholic Husband and I are separated.Tomorrow is our son's 11th B'day. He's having a spend the night party with his friend. His Dad is drunk and keeps calling but I won't answer. He's ruined enough B'days. I know he is worried but I can't let him upset me or Sam on his birthday. Am I wrong?
2006-08-26 14:17:29 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, you are right to protect your son on his special day. If his dad take call him when he is sober, then he loses.
2006-08-26 14:21:02 · answer #1 · answered by Cindy B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mostly I'm posting to say I'm sorry that this happened. It's a scary thing. I've gotten to know you here and, well when you make friends in forum, it's our problem too on some level. People who are immediately assuming he's a cheat without knowing anything further about this, don't know anything about real marriage. Or they've been scorned, and are still hurting. It's a hard thing to recover from. Maybe he did, what do we know. But you'd know. If he did you'd have gotten red flags by now. It's a good thing that you know he wasn't cheating, on the other hand you're stuck with the humbling reality of what it really was: A sheer dumb azzenine thing. Mostly, they're dense (not to be confused with stupid). Sorry fellas. This post isn't meant to beat you. Anyway, it's not obvious to them all the what-ifs that are out there. The don't have those projections the way we do. They have a lot of "oh yeah" moments when we paint them a big red sign. Must be that extra chromosome. Chances are he was doing something you wouldn't approve of. Drinking, gambling, a strip club. Or put himself in a dumb drunk situation where he couldn't drive but couldn't call you without being on the wrong end of your foot later. Or maybe he fell asleep after playing cards with friends, or watching a movie with his brother. And knew he was only going to wake you up and alert you to how late he was. So by then he figured he was better off leaving (not-so-)well enough alone. As for how to enforce the message that this will never happen again, you know best how to reach your husband when you're serious.
2016-03-26 21:16:42 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your doing the right thing.Let him talk to his son when he is sober,and you monitor the conversation from beginning to end.Just because he's not drunk doesn't mean he' is thinking clearly.He could and probably will say something to upset the boy whether he is drunk or not.You should know that all to well.He will be like Jekyll and Hyde.Supervise the talks,limit them as well.But don't keep him from talking to him,after you determine whether he is sober.
2006-08-26 15:56:12 · answer #3 · answered by Willnotlietoyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are right to let it go unanswered. Being a child of an alcoholic parent I can tell you the shame your child experiences is not something you want them to have to do. Now that I am an adult and understand it better doesn't help that my friends talked behind my back about it and the embarrassment I dealt with then. You ex needs to get help and until he does you do what you have to to help your child....Sam will understand one day....
2006-08-26 14:26:00 · answer #4 · answered by thinknlove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not answer the phone as a matter of fact unplug it and give your son a good relaxed birthday.The next time you speak to your husband tell him to not call when he is drunk.If he wants to be a good father he can start at AA.
2006-08-26 14:27:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, not at all. I'd do the same thing and get a court order to keep him from harassing you if need be.
2006-08-26 14:35:31 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a situation like that, I would let it ring through and not pick up
2006-08-26 14:23:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know if you are right. You have experienced things with him. Ask yourself if he deserves another chance or not.
2006-08-26 14:25:34 · answer #8 · answered by Jacks036 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will just keep calling!
2006-08-26 14:21:33 · answer #9 · answered by mouse3801 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know?
2006-08-26 14:24:36 · answer #10 · answered by Runner. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋