My favorite place in Washington it’s not a busy city street, a peaceful country town, or a mountain side covered in snow. It is an eighteen mile stretch of sand known as Grayland Beach. It’s on the west coast of Washington south of Westport in Grayland. In a small town filled with local shops, restaurants with home made food, beach cabins, and salty air. Grayland Beach is a lot like Ocean Shores but there are no fancy hotels, but cozy cabins and roomy hotel rooms. There are no McDonalds or other chain restaurants. Grayland is not crowed, with only about a thousand locals and vacationers going in and out year round. It’s a peaceful get away, a break from reality, and a time to relax. Different from the rest of the world where time passes with amazing grace and it peacefully goes by. A place that is unique with something to do for everyone in the water, sand, and in the town.
2006-08-26 13:53:14 · 6 answers · asked by Mae-Day 3 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
its still not a intro paragraph, it sounds more like just a paragraph not an intro paragraph. yes it is descibing about ur favorite place in washington, but if u wrote all of that for ur intro paragraph whats the rest of the essay about???! To me it sound like you just wrote a paragraph, not an intro paragaph. If u want to get a decent grade, take my tips. If u want to get a not-so-good-grade, take everyone elses tips.
2006-08-26 13:57:19 · answer #1 · answered by whatisn'twouldn'tbe™ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My favorite place in Washington is not a busy city street, a peaceful country town, or a mountain side covered in snow. It is an eighteen mile stretch of sand known as Grayland Beach. It’s on the west coast of Washington south of Westport in Grayland. In a small town filled with local shops, restaurants with home made food, beach cabins, and salty air, Grayland Beach is a lot like Ocean Shores but there are no fancy hotels. Cozy cabins and roomy hotel rooms are the main places to spend your vacation. There are no McDonalds or other chain restaurants, but rather quaint eateries and cafes. Grayland is not crowed, with only about a thousand locals and vacationers going in and out year round. It’s a peaceful get away, a break from reality, and a time to relax. Different from the rest of the world where time passes with amazing grace and it peacefully goes by. Grayland is a place that is unique, offering something for everyone in the water, sand, and in the town.
2006-08-26 13:58:37 · answer #2 · answered by lonely_girl3_98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Grammar. Watch that each sentence has a subject and an active verb. Look at
"Different from the rest of the world where time passes with amazing grace and it peacefully goes by." You have no stated subject (noun or pronoun that performs an action in the sentence). You'll need "it" or "the town" or "the place," etc. Additionally, you're missing the primary verb. You do have the verbs "passes" and "goes", but they are both contained within a subordinate clause.
2. Whether this is an appropriate introductory paragraph depends on what will follow. If this is an essay, it is both winding and over-descriptive. You'll need to lay out a theory, supporting points and then stop. If this is a descriptive piece, this may work as a "first" though not "introductory" paragraph, per se.
2006-08-26 18:44:37 · answer #3 · answered by Love 'n Joy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By starting with "my favorite place is washington" you bore people reading this out before you even begin. Here's an idea for a better intro sentence for this topic that would get people reading really interested in what you're saying:
Seattle, busy city streets, peaceful country towns, mountains covered in snow...what do all of these places have in common? You've guessed it, they're all in Washington! In fact these are all things that visitors commonly think of first when the name "Washington" is mentioned. But many people seem to forget about another amazing place;Grayland....
and then you can go into your second paragraph describing what grayland is like. give more details though.
hope this helps!
2006-08-26 15:16:43 · answer #4 · answered by swimming_dramastar19 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Better than what?
Your fourth sentence is incomplete - In a small town.... there isn't a verb in this sentence.
Why is it your favorite place? You have described it but I don't know if you are happy or sad about the lack of a McDonalds. You need to describe the area in terms or why it is your favorite.
The last two sentences are incomplete too.
2006-08-26 14:00:29 · answer #5 · answered by probslvr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to me its the intr paragraph it just sounds like it because u are introducing ur favorite place in washington
2006-08-26 14:16:13 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ JellyBean94 ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋