2006-08-26 13:31:09 · 12 answers · asked by summer_510 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all this isn't your fault. Infact I would leave out the words, falt and blame and change those words to "explain".
Your dad has a huge anger problem, there is something in his past that let him be so angry. Often it is a learned behavoir from past generations. I suggest you be the generation that stops the abusive behavior. Your dad lacks the basic skills to deal with anger. A good book to read is THE DANCE OF ANGER.
All kids want their mom & dad to stay together even in tough situations. Just realize that you still belong to both of them. That never changes. And it is better to be from a broken home than a home that is broke. Imagine the arguments and the abuse if your mom stayed. Eventually you would be hit too. That sort of behavior sucks the life and joy out of a family.
Your mother needs to leave to protect herself and you from the abuse. You can still love your dad, but hate what he does. Don't let his abuse take from your own life....afterall you will become an adult with your own life and your own choices. Choose to do things different than your dad did. Find healthy outlets for anger.
You may need counseling.
Don't let your parents play you between them. Your mom is probably very hurt and sad that the man she married abused her. The sadness might not show but it is there.
We all have chances for a better life. Let this be a new chapter in your life and choose to live in peace and happiness. Times might get challenging but you already have been through tough times and I am sure you will pull out of this.
Don't let your parents failures be yours. There is a line that eventually gets drawn between parent and child where the child becomes independent and stands on their own. And with each generation this happens.
Make sure you get a good education so that you can make your way in life. Please don't turn to drugs and drinking.......if you think your family has problems now, imagine if you had drug and drinking issues. Sometimes you will feel like you stand alone.
But you gotta make good choices.
Find ways to distract your mind by reading or in some sort of sport or activity. If you dwell on the negative it will take over your entire life.
You will have times when you just want to cry. Cry and get those feelings out. then pull yourself together and smile. The saddness will come and go until the saddness is just a scar. If you let the sadness take you over then the negative part of life wins. And yodu just have one life. Chose what you do with wisdom and joy.
2006-08-26 13:45:25 · answer #1 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that violence is NOT the answer to any problem!! Do u want ur mom to be safe and happy? And usually if they hit once, they will do it again and again. Now is the time for ur mom to stop it. It is better for her to be a single mom and raise u knowing it is not okay to hit, than to stay and u carry on the violence. It has to stop somewhere!! It will be hard, because i'm sure u luv both parents, but isn't it better to have ur mom safe?
2006-08-26 13:41:04 · answer #2 · answered by nonnaluv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is hard for your parents too. If he hits your mom it is better that they divorce than he keeps hitting you mom. Keep praying and asking God to bless and keep you and your family safe.
2006-08-26 13:39:27 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Precious, I am a surviver of domestic violance. I wish my parents hd divorced when we were small it would have spared us a lot of problems and heartache. As grown-ups they divorced. You will survive by God's grace. lots of time a seperations will help. Call the police..If she has any marks the police will press charges on him and force him to get help ! It will not hurt him to get HELP he needs it if he hit your mom. CALL THE POLICE !!He will think twice before he does it again! PRAY PRAY PRAY !!!
2006-08-26 16:39:42 · answer #4 · answered by sunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get real tight with your Mom. It will be OK. You guys need to be safe. Your dad will still be around for you-he loves you. This is between your Mom and him.
He has issues to deal with like anyone else.
Pray to God whose name is Jehovah and finish your prayer by stating.."in Jesus name I speak to you. Amen."
Just talk to him as if you are making a phone call.
Read Psalm 83:18 if you have a Bible.
It will be OK. Really.
2006-08-26 13:37:59 · answer #5 · answered by Cool Breeze 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard ,, but know that as a woman and your protector your mom needs to live in a safe place that she can take care of you and any brothers or sisters you might have.
It my be hard to see your dad as a bad person,, but these types of men have serious mental health issues and needs help that you and your mom can't give him or make him get.
I was in a very bad marriage for 5 yrs and it was hard to think of my girls not having their dad around them as they grew up,, but I think they are better now for it.
Be strong and rememeber there is good and bad in everyone,, try not to hate either your mom or your dad. and pray alot.
2006-08-26 13:38:48 · answer #6 · answered by B V 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the divorce happens, then you can deal with it. You will be able to handle it ,,just like everyone else who finds themselves in a similar situation.
2006-08-26 13:35:56 · answer #7 · answered by WC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wouldnt it be beter if they were divorced then ur dad hitting ur mom. i went through a divorce too it is hard but it will be beter in the end. you will be beter off in the end
2006-08-26 13:44:29 · answer #8 · answered by adnama_n_werd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie male or female divorce is always hard but if you are a godly person pray and God can get you threw anything
2006-08-26 13:34:55 · answer #9 · answered by Nicole 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is ok, dont worry about it
its not gonna be as bad as u think
my parens got divorced when i was in 3rd grade
just think, ur mom is better off and will be happier than being in an abusive relationship, u want wat is best for ur mom
2006-08-26 13:37:16 · answer #10 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋