most clever and origional gets 10 points?

Question

tell me a story when you felt like kiling somebody

Answer 1

a girl just came by our house and asked to see my son,
something told me not to let her in the house so I made
her wait outside, my son talked to her a minute and then
she left, I asked him who she was, and he told me she was the person who came to our house last year with her boyfriend
and while they were waiting to see my son, they stole his wallet with his whole payday in it, we told police where to find them
but they didn't do anything to them
If I had known who she was when I answered the door I might
have strangled her
AND to have the nerve to come back to our house!

Answer 2

Well there's this girl who ruins every friendship I have cause she's a bitchhh.

Fantasy:

I take a cheese grinder and grind it against their cheeks. Then I take a toothpick and shove it up their nose. Then I take a chainsaw and chop all their hair off. Next I take their finger and put it up a chicken's a-ss. Then I make them smell it. Then I make them swim with sharks. The sharks bit their leg off. Then I send a helicopter and rescuse them. Without a leg, they are supposed to walk all the way from North America to South America. Then I pour salt on their leg wound. Then lemon juice. Then make them suck the lemon juice off their leg. Then they vomit, and choke on their own vomit.

So technically I didn't kill them. That way there my a-ss won't end up in jail.

Answer 3

This guy that my friend tried to bust for drug use got off innocent.
I wanted to sneak into his house kidnap his wife and hang him from his penis to die.

Answer 4

i refuse to answer on the grounds that it may incriminate me!

Answer 5

Peggy won't cook...

Answer 6

i do agree...