How can a wife find out if her husband is having sex outside marriage or cheating on her in a way or another?

Answer 1

Look at the phone bill to see who he is calling and when. That may give you a clue for starters. Look at the credit card bill to see where he is spending money and when. A lot of cheaters are pretty stupid about leaving such clues. The most obvious sign is he doesn't value your opinion very much and is highly critical of everything you do ... not just ordinary spousal disagreements. For a lover to start cheating, he/she first has to get to the point of losing all respect for you. That gives him an excuse to go "hang out with friends" and refuse to talk to you about anything.

You can also ask a close friend for help. Ask a girlfriend who has cheated on her lover (they're out there, and they aren't proud of it) if your situation looks right or if it looks like something is going on. Finally, if you really want to know, hire a private investigator. They are everywhere and they all investigate cheating spouses. Most can tell you in 10 minutes of conversation if your husband is faithful or not ... the behavior is pretty much the same for cheaters.

Once you find out, what are you going to do about it? Confrontation won't bring your marriage back together. It is worth knowing the truth so that you can know that whatever is going on isn't something you've done, I suppose. I was totally faithful in my 18 yrs of marraige ... my ex wasn't. Once I found out, I kept it to myself. She's the mother of my children and I don't want to be out there denigrating her. Doesn't help the kids to hear daddy calling mommy a whore.

Tough situation. People who cheat usually never intended to do it. It just happened and got out of control. There are a few people who don't know the meaning of the word faithfulness. It isn't your fault if he is. Usually, it starts when a person isn't getting certain things from a relationship that they really need. You have needs, he has needs. It is normal, healthy and human to have needs. It is the job of a good marriage to satisfy both of your needs. Maybe that is a good place to start. Ask each other what you need in a relationship. Maybe you are giving him lots and lots of wonderful things but you hate classical music ... and he really needs you to understand his total love of classical music. I don't know what the needs are but all people have some.

Answer 2

The bigger question is how well does she know her man. Have her look for the signs:
1. Has he stop wearing his wedding band?
2. Is he abrupt when she speaks to him? Does he seem agitated when he is around you?
3. Does he peel away to make an office call, check e-mail etc.
4. In bed, does he seem distracted or has he developed a new appetite that wasn't there before?
5. When she call him on the cell phone, does he rush her off the phone.
6. If he suddenly drops 20-30 lbs in a short period of time and doesn't have an illness, where there is smoke, there is fire.

She should assert herself more into his life. Period. If he has to go check e-mail in his home office, go with him and make interesting small talk. Stuff notes in pocket the night before he goes to work. Stalk him and then turn up the sex.

It will really make him uncomfortable. He's going to think that she already knows and if he's guilty, he's gonna slip up in a big way. It always happens. If he has been cheating on her, they've got to decide if the marriage is worth saving.

And that is the question that needs to be answered before she finds out whether or not he is cheating on her. Because if he's not cheating on her and he finds out that she's had him tailed by a PI, that could cause irreparable damage to the marriage and perhaps even a self-fulfilling prophecy. She would have driven him away because of her insecurity.

Lots to think through. Please be really careful how you advise your friend on this sensitive issue.

Answer 3

There are a lot of signs. If you don't know where to start looking, start paying attention to his attitude. Is there any change from the "routine"? For example: he suddenly becomes emotionally/physically distant, doesn't want to have sex with you, change in appearance, suddenly wants to work out at the gym even though he hated exercise, leaves early for work, comes home late or not at all. When questioned, he gets very defensive and comes up with lame excuses that don't make sense.
People calling his cell phone and when you're around, he quickly hangs up. Makes excuses to go do something on his own without taking you, starts a fight with you without provocation. Then you can always check his bank statements, checking acct statements, credit card statements (no woman is free), cell phone bills. Most importantly, trust your instincts. If you feel something is up, you probably have a good reason to think so. But, you need solid evidence. You can hire a private detective if it comes down to it. Bottom line: someone who is cheating eventually will be found out because no matter how good they are at hiding their tracks, they will eventually mess up and get found out.

Answer 4

How often do the two of you make love --is there a downtrend there in that pattern?

How often do the two of you QUARREL? Is there an uptrend there?

Go into a calm meditation and think about this: you SUDDENLY discover with certainty that he's seeing another woman! Does that conclusion secretly delight you? That your beginning to be rid of him? Then you're not in love with him anymore.

Don't spy around and snoop into his clothes and check his phone logs etc. If you're suspicious, you'll hang SOMETHING on some anechdote or another, so that's a waste of time.

Answer 5

You could always hire a private investigator to follow him for a while. If you are unable to afford this, perhaps installing a camera equiped with sound in your home,tap the phone, there are all kinds of ways. Honestly, most cheaters eventually get themselves caught with little effort from their significant other.

Answer 6

Hire a private eye if you can afford it. Ask friends to help follow him if you can't. Go on line and check his cell phone records. Here's an unusual idea - put "itching powder" in his clothes and see what women are scratching like crazy the next day!

Answer 7

Hire a Private Investigator and start cleaning out the bank accounts!

Answer 8

Some men will start to show more concern in their appearance, making phone calls out of your sight, trying to keep the phone as near to him as possible worse still holding it while sleeping, start to give reason as tehre are lots of O/T and need to be home late, etc. If you are cash rich, hire a private detective to track him down and evidence will show...

Answer 9

phone rings and he dont answer! takes a shower as soon as he gets in the house,perfume smell of a woman,lies alot about where hes going,doesnt come home or hes always coming late ,get a card reader a well known one to tell you if he is cheating,ohh he doesnt want to have sex with you like b4

Answer 10

You could hire a Private Investigator , but its a waste of money . look through his personal possessions , car , phone , phone bills, stuff like that . Or you can tell by how he acts , ususally very distant. Sometimes a cheater will act very eager to do things with you tho.