I had this friend when i was younger that everyone thought was gay since grammar school. I didn't really care that much though, he was really nice and fun and stuff. But he dressed beyond gay, has an afeminin voice (and that gay lisp thing) and an afemanin posture, fashion sense, and interests, by which I mean, things like theatre, flowers, fashion, disney movies, and he calls everybody honey. And he skips sometimes. This guy never had a girlfriend either or talked about girls sexually. Was in the chorus and the band, school musicals, and dancer ect! Well about 2 years ago I started dating a girl who was a mutual friend of our's, and he stopped talking to us because he said he was in love with her and I stole her from him. I was so confused! I know you haven't seen or met him in person but take my word for it, EVERYONE thought this kid was gay! And some people still think that his whole "i love her" thing was a cover up, but now-a-days its socially acceptable i think to be gay...
2006-08-26 12:01:03 · 14 answers · asked by mwells0629 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
it seems like no one would have gone so far out of their way to try to not looks gay. I mean ditching his 2 best friends... its just too extensive for a cover up. It bugs me out! I don't care if someone is gay or straight, I just hate being confused. What do you think?
2006-08-26 12:03:10 · update #1
He claimed to also not to be a bisexual either.
2006-08-26 12:07:37 · update #2
No we aren't still friends. However, I didn't have a predjudice, I do have 2 gay guy friends, not close friends, but I don't judge them any differently from my straight friends. Actually, because he told me he was straight, I'd defend him when I heard other people make comments, or when someone would ask me, I'd say no he's straight, but I figured I'd see what other people thought about the situation. It seems like there's much more going on, and I'm just not a mind reader.
2006-08-27 14:26:00 · update #3
The reason we aren't friends has nothing to do with his sexual orientation, it's because he couldn't be happy for me and my (at the time) girlfriend, and I refused to apologize (even after we broke up) because I didn't do anything wrong. Plus, graduating high school and starting college sort of seperates friends anyway.
2006-08-27 14:27:46 · update #4
There are plenty of straight men who have effeminate ways. It is also possible that he hasn't figured his own sexuality out yet. Either way, as long as you are open to being his friend, it's his issue if he doesn't want to be yours.
2006-08-26 12:11:17 · answer #1 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you're question is?
I have a dear friend who sounds very similar to your friend. He too is quite effeminate, loves theatre, dance...etc. But believe it or not...he's as straight as the day is long.
I have another friend who's quite masculine, dark smoldering appearance, always is surrounded my young beautiful women....and he's a queer as a three dollar bill.
The punchline is these toe guys actually know each other and laugh all the time how they somehow got their personalities crossed!!
True story, and it actually has a moral....NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER!
Have you ever visited Savanna GA? or New Orleans?
Many men have similar mannerisms and they're totally straight.
2006-08-26 12:24:19 · answer #2 · answered by DEATH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mannerisms don't mean your gay. He might really be straight but effeminate. He might be trans, which doesn't mean he's attracted to men. Maybe he's got a thing for you. Maybe he feels like he's lost a best friend. He might be going thru stuff and having a hard time dealing. Who knows. It doesn't matter what everyone thinks. If he's a friend and you think he's having a tough time with something, be compassionate and supportative in a way that works for him.
2006-08-26 12:12:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a man to act effeminate does not mean he is gay. And bisexual men almost never act effeminate. If he doesn't come right out and tell you he is non-straight, you've never noticed him checking out guys or anything like that, and you have no hard evidence of him playing around with men, then he probably is not gay or bisexual.
2006-08-26 12:23:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is your friend you will accept him regardless of his orientation.Perhaps you are sending him a signal that says I'm confused and he is unsure if you really are comfortable with his orientation.It is my belief that if someone truly loves you no one can steal you away.The activities that you mentioned your friend participated in in school are activities which straight and gay people are involved.Your statement, not mine, makes me suspect your friend is uncomfortable revealing his orientation to you because you do reveal your prejudice.Just curious are you still friends?
2006-08-27 11:51:41 · answer #5 · answered by gussie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
besides " never judge a by it's cover" it's also obvious that you can't see" the trees for the forest" HE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU BUT IS FRIGHTENED OF REJECTION and "if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it's a duck.
2006-08-26 13:51:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Labels, labels, labels... why is being gay or not being gay a badge of honour? People are people - so long as there is love, who should care?
Without a doubt he was in love with you...
2006-08-26 12:37:05 · answer #7 · answered by guicoder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely,you're a duck.
2006-08-27 17:57:08 · answer #8 · answered by heidi_springle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he wasn't in love with her, he was in love with you, and that's the reason he didn't want to be around u 2 anymore and didn't want to tell you he was in love with you, so instead, he said he was in love with her, maybe to see if you were really his friend, but you went out with her anyway, so now he probably doesn't like you anymore and definitely won't like her anymore.
2006-08-26 12:12:00 · answer #9 · answered by Inquisitive 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either way hes a fruitcake.
2006-08-26 12:20:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋