Do I talk to my son about my masterbation????

Question

I hate to even think about it! My son is 11. Is it too early/late to talk to him about it? We've had the sex talk, but is there any good reason to talk to him about masterbation? Maybe that is one of those things better left to discuss with his friends?

We've always been very comfortable talking to each other about anything else in the past (even why girls have periods) but I'm not sure how he would feel about having this converstation with his mom.

I'm not sure how I'd feel about my husband having the conversation though either. They don't normally talk about things like that.

So bottom line- Is there any benefit in even talking to him about it? And if so- what do I say??

Answer 1

Talk to him about spelling. Women adore proper spelling. Should you avoid this key parental responsibility, the poor lad will be masturbating for the rest of a long sad life.

Answer 2

I have two sons and we have very open communication, most of it stems from watching TV and just happening across the right moment. So maybe you could find a show or movie that you know is going to hit on the subject and use that as an opener. Keep it lighthearted and simple, like, "I'm sure you know what masturbation is, and it's okay, but I don't think they're portraying it right on TV. I'm sure you already know it's just something private that some people do in their own rooms. It would probably be embarrassing for someone to see you, so make sure you keep it private." Whatever, I don't know the correct wording for each situation, but just talk about it like it's what to fix for dinner. It might be embarrassing, but if you act matter of fact and not embarrassed and don't really make an issue of it, he'll be more comfortable. He probably already knows about masturbation at his age, but I think all kids are less stressed about the whole sex thing if they know that their mom knows what they know. If they have to hide it and be embarrassed, that's very stressful on kids. They'll feel like they're the only ones with certain thoughts and questions and feel dumb. And at 11, they know a hell of a lot. And obviously by some of the questions kids ask on Yahoo, they have a lot of questions still and a lot of misinformation. I'd say the talk would only be a benefit.

Answer 3

I was reading about this in a book a while ago and the book said not to talk to him/her about it. Talking to him about it can alter their view of it. Masturbation, as raunchy as it is considered, is healthy. It's something that once he does you shouldnt' stop. I'm not just some perv saying this, by the way. The best thing for you to do is sneak down to the library and look at some books about the topic. Maybe you'll find more advice about doing the opposite. You can never be 100% sure before you jump onto a subject like this. It's best to have as much info as possible as to the changes it may incur.

Answer 4

There's a great book, that every parent of an adolescent boy should read, and then share with their son. Boys and Sex, by Wardell Pomeroy. You can get a used one on amazon for under $5. This was in my Jr. High library, I read it over 24 years ago... and still remember passages from the book. It does wonders for the guilt a young boy feels about this "dirty" act, and many other "dirty" things most adolescents experience.

Answer 5

Oh my-the talk about masturbation I would think would be worse than the sex talk. It is normal for one to masturbate. I would first suggest you have a man talk to your son(I know you say your hubby and son don't talk alot But what a good opportunity for a male to male talk). Second I would suggest that you talk about it being normal but private. You cant stop him from doing it-and him being 11-honestly he probably already knows all about it. Just emphasis the privacy part. Don't leave anything to be discussed first with his friends-peer pressure can lead to more than masturbation. Good luck!

Answer 6

First of all, he is pretty young. However, that is not the only factor to consider. Has he shown an interest or curiosity about it? You need to talk to him about EVERYTHING in life as you are his best source of information (that is if you're well informed). Being an open, talkative, and informed parent is the best way to protect and raise your child. He really should have the talk with his father if that's a possibility. So my suggestion to you is figure out whether you need to have the talk with him at all yet I.E. did he ask you about it (you will have to talk to him about it eventually). Then, when you figure out when you need to talk to him about it, TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND FIRST and make sure he is ready, willing, and able to do his duty as a father (the duty he agreed to do by putting his cha-cha in your hoo-ha...). If he is- then great, if he isn't- then you need to step up and speak to your son about it. Again, I'm not a father so at what age to have what talk isn't my area, but I do know this- You should be very aggressive every chance you get when it comes to speaking with your children about grown-up things in life. They will learn about it one way or the other, so who better to teach them EVERYTHING than the ones who hold them dearest?

Answer 7

I don't think it's necessary unless you accidentally catch him or something in which case I would just let him know it's ok & normal. That he's not going to hell or anything. You might hint at the fact that you know he's getting older and could use some additional privacy. Ask if he'd like a lock on his bedroom or bathroom door. And for God's sake, don't go in without knocking mom!!

Answer 8

you should talk to him about it because you don't want your son growing up thinking it's wrong dirty or bad to do those sorts of things. and you don't want him to later feel bad for doing it either. it doesn't have to be a long talk and you don't have to ask him if he does masterbate just tell him it's ok to do those things that there's nothing wrong with exploring his own body.

Answer 9

no dont i am two years older than him though im a girl i can still imagin what that would be like and if he is 11 i can pretty much garente you that he knows what it is

Answer 10

I've always told my daughter that her body is her own- she can touch her body, but no one else should. My body is my own- I can touch my body. Maybe that is simplifying it too much, but I think it is good for kids to know it is okay to masterbate (maybe you don't want to use that word with your son) because their body belongs to them.