Hi guys, thanks for clicking.
My question is relating to being bi, and/or gay. I'm hetero myself, but one of my friends thinks he is gay or bi. I'm definately fine with this, but what I'm wondering is, does anyone think it's possible to turn gay or bi?
The reason I ask this is because about 1 1/2 - 2 years ago he was madly madly infatuated with a girl. She didn't return the feeling, but went out with him anyway out of pity. Eventually she broke up with him, and (I assume) told him what she had done. She's now his worst enemy. He hates her with such a burning passion, even mention of her name, even if you're talking about someone else who shares that name, makes him so incredibly mad. She obviously really hurt him and I think he's still healing from it.
So do you think he is saying he's gay or bi to get around his anger, or do you think he's actually gay or bi?
It's been puzzling me for a while, and I'm not sure what to think.
Thanks for your input.
2006-08-26 10:31:13 · 7 answers · asked by laurioli34 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Anyone who is gay can behave as though he is straight, at least for a while. Anyone who is straight can behave as though he is gay, at least for a while, and bisexuals, well, they can behave as though gay, bi, or straight.
Nobody turns gay. But he may have been gay all along, and she was his last big chance to prove (to himself as well as others) that he was straight. Or he may be just acting as though he's gay because he thinks it will hurt her to believe that she turns men gay.
Without knowing him, and knowing all the facts, it's hard to say what your friend is doing.
2006-08-26 11:38:01 · answer #1 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is controversy about whether sexual orientation is a matter of choice. Clearly there is some genetic inheritance, as studies have correlated homosexuality among related people. But it's not a perfect correlation, showing that the environment plays a part. There is probably some environmental effect that aggravates or triggers those specific forms of the genes that may lead to homosexuality.
I think you're friend is still either straight or bi. He was madly infatuated with a female, and that doesn't change like that unless there is a significant change in the brain. He's probably going through a confused stage.
I DO NOT think that there is very much free choice in choosing your sexual orientation. You can choose who you sleep with, but not necessarily who you will like.
Check out this website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3735668.stm
2006-08-26 17:41:45 · answer #2 · answered by C. Menstein 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can chose who to have sex with and you can chose to grow beyond learned behaviors and prejudices. Intellectually deciding who fills your heart and turns you on is like saying your brain decides when your bladder's empty or full.
Your friend sounds like he has too much of his identity wrapped up in what this woman thinks. Maybe his orientation has always been the issue or maybe these are two entirely separate things. Hard to say. In any case, a bad experience with the opposite sex does not turn someone bi or gay -- most of the planet would be if that was the case!
2006-08-26 18:23:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This most certainly can't be dismissed and your observations have to be considered relevant. I think all sexuality is developed because we have "free will" (a choice). Our brains send out chemicals/hormones based on how we think. This can be compared to exercise. Our brain developes by what we think similar to how we work out our muscles (endurance or strength) develope. A science magazine showed the differences of brain chemistry from a musician and a nonmusician. I think you have a point.
2006-08-26 17:43:50 · answer #4 · answered by Search4truth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ne lesbians that are smart and intelligent wanting 2 talk 2 same? i have a friend who is in a relationship but its a horrible one and im trying to find her somebody else. im a gay male 21 shes almost 22. this is not a joke. contact me and ill let you kno if you will be perfect for her or not.
2006-08-26 22:45:24 · answer #5 · answered by mat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being gay is not a choice. your friend was bi to begin with. unless he is such a f*ckhead that he decided to try being gay coz some girl rejected him.
2006-08-26 18:20:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't turn gay or bi. if he was in love with a girl, he probably IS bi, because that means being able to fall in love with both genders!
2006-08-26 17:46:32 · answer #7 · answered by kittens 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋