Pregnancy question. Need help.?

Question

I'm 19 and 12 wks pregnant. My sister is 18 and 7 wks pregnant. She already admitted that she got pregnant because I am. I've always had to share everything with her. My grandmother bought me a bassinet. But now, because I have more than my sister does for her baby, my grandma is giving her the bassinet. It just seems to me that she is trying to get all of the attention focused on her. My husband says that I'm just being childish, but I'm tired of having to share everything with her. I had to share everything growing up with her and even had to share my graduation day with her. Now, I have to share my pregnancy with her and a baby shower. I was so excited that I was pregnant, but when she came home and said that she was pregnant, it just put a damper on all of my excitment. She doesn't even konw who the father is. I want to be happy for her but it's hard because she keeps bragging about how much of a better mom she is going to be than me. Plz give me some advice. I really need it .

Answer 1

If it bothers you this much, then separate yourself from her. Have a separate shower, don't take handouts. Just limit the time your spend with her. Just because she is your sister doesn't mean that you have to do everything together. Live your own life without her. Just be glad that you have a loving husband and that your baby is being born into a complete family, unlike your sis. Always complaining about it is childish, so just stop visiting her, calling and anything else. She'll realize that she needs a life of her own, not yours.

Answer 2

Wow, talk about a sibling from hell. As for your grandma taking away the bassinett she bought for YOU and giving it to your sister, well, that's just wrong.

And if she's bragging about how much of a better mom she'll be, then she's definitely the more childish one.

Do you know who's going to throw the baby shower? Talk to your family and see maybe if you can do seperate baby showers. What fun would it be if you had to share it? Your baby shower is YOUR time, not anyone else's, and you shouldn't have to share it. When you're pregnant, it's a time when everyone focuses on you, and no one should take that away from you.

And more than likely, your sister is bragging to you probably because she's jealous of you. You're married expecting your baby, and she doesn't even know who the father of her baby is. She's probably feeling insecure about raising the baby by herself, so she's bragging to make herself feel better. Wait until you two actually have those babies - she'll have a much harder time caring for it than you will.

Try talking to her about it if you feel comfortable doing so, and let her know she's hurting your feelings. If that's not duable, then maybe have a seperate baby shower with you and just your girlfriends, that way your sister isn't a part of it.

And tell your grandma that it hurt your feelings she took back the bassinett and gave it to your sister. I'd be SO upset if that happened! She bought that for YOU, she shouldn't take it back.

Good luck, and hopefully everything works out for you!

Answer 3

Honey, you are still young. It sounds like you and your sister have some issues that need to be resolved. However, you say you're married. It's time to grow up and be an adult now. If you cannot afford your own children then you shouldn't be having any. Don't rely on gramma for your needs. It's time to let the childhood go because you are about to take on someone else's. Have you talked to gramma? Let your sister have the bassinet. If she's always putting a damper on your things, perhaps she's doing it because you make it known. When someone seems to always try to burst my bubble, I "kill them with kindness". Maybe instead of letting on to your sister that she burst your bubble, you should act excited and tell her how wonderful it will be that your kids will be close and you can do all these things together...maybe then she'll back off.

Answer 4

Talk to your sister and tell her how much the bassinet meant to you or offer to get her another. You can put a baby in a drawer I have seen it or a nice basket and carry it around with you. Trade her out for things. If you are lucky your sister will have a child that likes to play with yours and the two of you can trade out babysitting because it is difficult to find a good safe babysitter sometimes. She is going to learn things that you do not learn and you can share the experience with her. Go over be her friend tell her what you know from coco butter cream to help prevent stretch marks to keeping plain crackers next to the bed for stomach acid morning sickness. Make it work stop feeling cheated and be glad she wants to be just like you it is flattering and make her your best friend because no matter how much you love that baby if she is a good mommy she will be your best asset in a pinch for baby sitting. I am the younger sister who wanted to be like my older sister who just recently began liking me. I thought she was the greatest most attractive woman in the world so play that part up big time with her..she is your greatest fan probably it sounds like it and do it fast before she realizes you aren't the greatest or most beautiful because you rejected her too many years and hurt her feelings. I did not have a baby but I did lots of free babysitting when she had no one else so keep that in mind. Just because she is pregnant or you are pregnant does not mean it will go full term so hope the best for her as a miscarriage especially when a sibling has a full term good pregnancy will hurt that much worse and make you feel badly if she has it happen to her so encourage her and help her she obviously needs it for some reason emotionally.

Answer 5

i was friendly wiht a girl from a large family and then i found out that she and her sisters were in competition to see who could get pregs first.
as for not being able to achieve your own space because of sibling rivalry i must admit my blood runs cold whenever i hear these stories although a s a clingy yournger brother it was he who wa s running away from me
of course you can try all the usual tactics such as talking to her asking to grow up pleading wiht her threatening her-surely putting distance between you physically is the easy answer-and where do we go from here is she going to start competing for your boyfriend
i have has situations where i have made the mistake of introducing ppl into my circle and they act like a parasite;first of all you cnat get a word in and you become an observer in your own life;then you look bad if you say anything and finally they tel l you that they are much better wiht your friends than you are
of course its insecurity on hteir part and my question to them is if they ar e that hot why cnat they find their own contacts.another aspect of this is when everyone you know assumes that they have th e right to know everyone else you know and your opinion does not count
at this point you are screwed and if they are part of the family you are double screwed[ a situation i heard about years ago was a yougn lad who lived at home and when the girl he wa s besotted with broke up with him his parents continued to welcome her into the home as they had much more in common interests wise with her than with him as he was a trainee mechanic and she and his parent s were academics
you are screwed big time-omen theme sounds in background
for the record i get tell i dont want to see them anymore;i ignore all the accusations of jealousy and unreasonable as i will not have ppl taking me fo r granted but i am fifty now and can handle being on my own;at your age you should not carryng so much baggage that you cnat wear this
after reading some of the other replies i think you should ask ot explain what she is feeling ;maybe she does idolise you and the point about halving the work by babysitting for each other is good so maybe its a godsend she is probably very frightened

Answer 6

Yeah this is a tough one. But I think you should focus on the upcoming new baby. What you will share with your new baby can be "shared" with anyone! The love, passion and joy are things the you and you alone can experience.

You have a husband to share the joy of you new arrival while your sister does not. It is tough for you but try supporting her and realize that in the long run you will need to focus your energy around your immediate family NOT the surrounding noise.

Good luck!

Answer 7

You could try talking to her about it but I guess it won't really make a difference for the future.
For the present, have the baby shower on your own and concentrate on YOUR baby and YOUR future family.
It's a time when you should be happy and your feelings are passed on to the baby, so stop letting it bother you. The fact that it bothers you and it shows is probably the reason why she's always in competition, if there's not competition she'll get tired of it.
By the way CONGRATULATIONS, to YOU and your husband - don't pass them on to your sister - that's only for YOU!!!

Answer 8

You need to be open with her. She may be doing it because she knows she can and/or that it annoys you. Then if the two of you cannot come to a desirable conclusion you need to part yourself from her. You need to live your own life without worrying about her. Are you sure that she is actually pregnant? It is hard to believe that at five weeks she would go out and find someone have sex with him then seven weeks later not know who the guy is.

It also sounds like you are competing with her, as well. This maybe fueling her desire to be in your shoes.

I am sorry that you are going through this. I hope that all goes well for you. Follow your heart and then move on for your husband and your child.

Answer 9

if it were me i would move away from her as far as i could get!
me and my sister arnt close and never have been shes 11 years older than me and i had my first child only 3 years after she had hers. then she got pregnant with her second about the time i had my first and just before i had my second. she got a second baby shower for her second i got a how could you get preg again? you didnt need the one youve got! (at least all 4 of mine have the same daddy!) i think shes just p/oed that she cant have anymore. and i can have as many as i want. (i cant help it if she weighs 300lbs) but anyway back to you. I would voice my opinon! forget everyone saying thats rude! it was rude of your sister to steal your lime light. let every one in your family know that you dont want to do the whole share thing with your sister! you should not have to share your pregnacy with her! sure you could rejoice in not having to go it alone. and go baby shoping with her and stuff make it fun BUT you shouldnt have to actually share the stuff! you buy your stuff and let her buy her stuff and tell all your family to give her all the hand outs because you know who the daddy is to your baby its your husband and you and he are more than capable and willing to buy the things you need on your own! and your poor pitiful sister needs all the help she can get because she dont even know who the daddy is to get him to help and shes oveosly less mature than you are.

stand up for your self your a adult! your not a 5 year old who has to share all your toys with your sister because she littler than you.

(go buy your self a bigger better bassinet and then rub it in her face that yours is better and you didnt even have to sponge it off anyone!)

Answer 10

She is competing with you. End it now.

Tell people that you want your OWN baby shower, not a shared one. Tell your grandmother that was wrong to give away what was meant for your baby.

You don't have to share your pregnancy with her. If someone brings it up, cut in with how your pregnancy is.

You are not being childish at all. Take back your life from this girl.