How can I deal with a room mate/friend who isn't pulling his weight?

Question

I've got this room mate who has been a friend of mine for about 10 years now. We went to high school together, yada yada. Here is the problem: He won't do any work around the house, and he keeps coming up with these ridiculous excuses so he can avoid doing the work. I remember doing this to my parents when I was 14, he's 26. I have two other room mates, and they are pretty upset about the situation. The room mate in question is trying to drag me into this conflict, saying that me and him will move out, to the others. I have no intention of moving out. He seems to think I am on his side, but the fact is, work needs to be done, and I would rather everyone contribute to the house hold, instead on jumping ship and screwing over the other room mates, obviously. We have tried to talk to him about it, but he is pretty resistant, he says "sure sure, no problem" to our faces, but the crap behaviour continues as is. I am afraid I am going to lose a friend because of his own lazyness. Any advice?

Answer 1

Its hard rooming with friends. Its better to find someone you dont even know. They will always disappoint you because with you being friends they feel like you are suppose to have their back and thats its no problem if they dont pull their weight. It only hurts the friendship because they dont respect you enough. Even though a new roomate dont know you, they will respect you. Find a new one and tell him its not working out and that you value your friendship.

Answer 2

Have a house meeting. Come up with some ideas of how he can contribute to the house work. If he can't perform (or anyone in the house can't pull their duty) then come up with an agreement that they will need to find a place to go. You could offer suggestions to your roommate, like if someone else needs to pick up his duty maybe he should be offering some type of compensation $$$, or hiring a personal cleaner for his work, to avoid a big break in friendship.

Answer 3

Explain to him that you value your friendship. That in order for it to continue though it might be best if he was to move out on his own if he isn't going to help with keeping the place tidy. That you are only giving him this advice because you don't like to live in such a tense environment and just think it might be for the best. I bet that at least for a while he will start to pull his weight around the house especially if he knows that he would have to move out on his own. Good luck.

Answer 4

Rooming situation is extremely difficult, but you've seen his pattern. No matter how much he tries to pull his weight around, his old pattern of becoming lethargic around the house is going to resurface.

You might want to have a meeting that if he doesn't shape up and pull his work, that no one else wants to pick it up for him. Give him a fair warning that this is a concise decision, and you might have to lose a friend worst comes to worst.

But he will come around and understand one day why you all did what you have to do.

Answer 5

it is never easy to get involved with family and friends when it come to money, living arrangements, business and relationships. it is simply to risky when it comes to ethical dilemmas such as this one. but for the record the first thing that you need to do is clear up the misconception that he has about you following him off the ship and into his sea of bullshit. the worse thing that you can do as a friend is allow him to think that your going to have is back on this issue and then when all hell breaks loose he will feel like you set him up for the battle but bailed out on him when it was time to go to war, and trust me the war is going to come.
as for your friendship i suggest you get with self and make sure that you have done all that you can do to secure the friendship and if your are confident that you have, then your days of fear are over. it is easier said than done, but what can you do? but let the chips lay where they fall?

Answer 6

I used to hold donuts in a pair of situations a month and have education or a gathering and enable my team vent on the top. the 1st couple situations no one suggested anyting, yet after a jointly because it became very sensible and the majority spoke. the way I inspired departments that the place no longer mine is I wold circulate to the supervisor of that team and request they take over a number of our artwork using fact we the place so busy and its obtrusive they have beyond usual time, as they have extra breaks and are stadning around gossing (of direction I suggested this with tact). If that did no longer artwork, I went over their heads.

Answer 7

ok, first you guys have to sit down with him and tell him how you feel, don't hold back but don't have a big huge fight. if he don't like give him a choose, either he starts helping or find another place, the only other thing i know is make a chart for the week or month, telling who has what and when.. i hope i helped, trust me i know how you feel with my husband and sister in law,

Answer 8

Tell your friend to shape up or ship out. If he is a true friend he will stay and pull his weight like everyone else. If he goes so be it.
Good luck.

Answer 9

you are just going to have to tell him straight out,,,if he dont start helping out around the house hes going ot have to leave. even if its risking your friendship over. its obvious he dont care about others around him. so get rid of him and find a cleaner roomate. good luck

Answer 10

Im not trying to be mean but just kick him out just because hes your friend is not an excuse to live off of you.