I can't stand the woman. She's self-righteous, she's rude, and she's saccharin-sweet on top of it all. We literally have nothing in common. She thinks I am an idiot. I love her son, we've been together for over four years, and we are very happy. I just don't know how to deal with her. What do you do when your mother in law is a monster?
2006-08-26 09:14:29 · 13 answers · asked by E 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You grin and bear it! This is your husband's Mom so there really isn't anything you can do. Murder is illegal and while a good smack sounds good, I don't think that would go over very well with Hubby. This is the age old problem, Mother- in- law hates daughter- in- law. Why these Mom's can't accept and be respectful toward their sons choices, I don't know, so it always ends up being up to you, the new daughter to be the mature, sensible one.
The obvious solution is to stay away from her as much as possible but when that isn't possible, just try and agree with her when you can. You don't have to mean it or lower your own self image by graveling, but just enough to keep the peace and shut her the hell up! Try giving her the same faux attitude that she gives you. Maybe even go out of your way a little to do something nice for her and make sure that others in the family are aware of your good deed, so that way when she turns evil on you again, she will look like a complete B**** to the rest of the family and you will look like the good one, and she won't want that. Just keep her throwing her own game right back at her and maybe then she will get a clue.
The other thing you can do which is always the best but doesn't always work is to have a sit down with her and tell her how you feel. Well, maybe not completely how you feel! Explain that you deserve the same amount of respect that you show her and ask her if there is something that you have maybe done that is the reason for her to dislike you. Tell her that you don't have to like each other but you are family and it's important to you for your husbands sake that you at least get along and if she continues to treat you in this manner, you will have to make other arrangements in the future for holidays and such. Make sure your husband knows that you are going to confront her though so she doesn't get to use that against you too.
Good luck and remember, you are not alone with this problem. I lucked out, my mother in law is great as is my husbands step father. I did however get stuck with the father in law from Haydes so I do know how you feel. My dear FIN wanted to take my husband to Italy but not me of course so he told him to lie to me and say he was visiting him over in Hawaii where he lives but instead they were going to go to Italy for 2 weeks! Good thing my husbands honest and wouldn't do that to me because after 20 years I think that may have been a deal breaker! See, you are not alone.
2006-08-26 09:39:19 · answer #1 · answered by Chaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha I think its funny how when me and my husband kiss infront of her and other things she gives an evil look like she can't stand seeing us happy or her son happy so she thinks of a way to get him mad at me which is kinda pathetic like makeup something like why didn't I wanna hang with her and blah blah blah and I need to not be stuck up when she is the one being stuck up, I mean really she needs to grow up and get a life. And yes she acts sweet when she wanting something but when she can't have it she try her best to make that persons life hell. And I love my husband more then anything in the world. She needs to understand that. And get over it. Cuz I will be with him til the day I die.
2014-04-29 19:46:24 · answer #2 · answered by babyGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in your shoes! You know what though, it's been 8 yrs and two children later and my husband and i are still together. It didn't matter to me what my mother in law thought of me because I knew I wasn't the things she said about me and so did my husband. He basically gave her a type of ultimatum. He got sick and tired of her talking sh*t about me and he let her know it. Eventually she changed. The advise I can give to you is just make sure that when your around her, be as nice as possible. Don't argue or fight with her. It's not worth it.
The one thing I can say is that you and her have something in common. Your husband! You both love him very much. If he's worth it, you'll find a way to be pleasant when around her. Also, let him know the way she makes you feel. But don't be rude when telling him. Maybe there could be something he can say to her that might make her change her attitude toward you. You never know, if she loves him as much as I think she does, it might be enough for her to start respecting the woman her son loves. Good Luck
2006-08-26 16:33:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can't stand mind either! When i pick her up for shopping etc. she just yaks on and on and i don't listen. I treat her the way she does me! The only good thing about her is she had my husband and she turned out to be a wonderful grandmother to my daughter. Go figure ? I am past the point of caring anymore and I just try never to be alone with her for fear that I might strangle her!
2006-08-26 16:40:00 · answer #4 · answered by ????? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem. After about 17 years of me keeping the peace, and keeping my mouth shut, I think she finally likes me. Thing is, Its most likely not you, anyone who is married to her son would have the same problem. I avoided my mother in law as much as I could, without hurting my husbands feelings. He knew our differences, and kinda respected them. I did have his child, her first grandchild, and that was a disaster! Can you move away? Luckily we moved about 2 hours away due to job, and it made things much better!
2006-08-26 16:27:57 · answer #5 · answered by charlieejohnson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend it's a way to deal with her. Blank her out because she is testing you to see. She is trying to see how much **** you'll take from her and she wants to be the only woman in her son life. But you be the better women by blank her out.
2006-08-26 16:44:31 · answer #6 · answered by adamsland1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't get along with my mother-in-law. I just try to avoid her. This causes problems between my husband and me sometimes, but we work through it. I do go with my husband when they have family get togethers and such, but that is as far as it goes. When I am around her, I am nice and friendly, but that is as far as it goes. I also do not ask my husband to make a choice between me and his family. Just when he wants to go visit, I stay home, or go do my own thing.
Good luck. Wish I could help more.
2006-08-26 16:23:06 · answer #7 · answered by sweetpeachiebear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
About the only thing to do is to try and keep the peace for your husbands sake. Just smile and be polite when you see her and then cuss her out when she leaves. Spend as little time with her as possible.
2006-08-26 16:19:05 · answer #8 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well if you ever saw the movie Monster In Law they had problems too, but they finally worked it out maybe you should just try and spend time with her and find something in commen, you never know.....
2006-08-26 16:18:22 · answer #9 · answered by ledogargirl93 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just counteract with sweetness of your own! Act like you don't care & it will drive her crazy!
I had the same problem & I dealt with it in stride & she finally died!
2006-08-26 16:19:00 · answer #10 · answered by Frogmama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋