Anyone have some encouraging advise? Daughter off to college 5 hrs away???

Question

My second daughter has gone off to college 5 hours away:(
Now the first daughter is a local University. That is not so bad.
Although I know that it is so good for her and she has such good ambitions I just find it so hard to see her go. We still have 4 children at home. However, that does not make it any better. We all love her so much. It's difficult.
Have you been through this?
How did you deal with it?
Any insights?

Answer 1

I've never exactly been through this, but I've been the daughter that's moved away from home, and I've also had to say goodbye to my husband twice while he went to Iraq. Here are a few of the things that helped me in both situations:

1) My mother didn't initiate phone conversations except on holidays and my birthday. It made me miss her and I would call when I wanted to say hi.

2) My mom sent me a few hand-written letters to tell me what was going on at home, and how much she was proud of me. This is a bit old-fashioned, but nothing beats having something to read in bed, in the cafeteria, etc. It was also a great way for her to channel her thoughts constructively.

3) I sent my husband care packages when he went to Iraq. I did this on a weekly basis, which is probably way too often for your daughter. But I do remember my mom somehow knowing when I had major exams, and sending me a "study care package" filled with healthy snacks, a CD with music I could study to, a gift-card for coffee, etc. That ALWAYS cheered me up.

I actually became closer to my mom when I moved away. I think it was a vital step in her becoming my best friend (next to my hubby, of course!). Just be patient, support her, and watch her grow! I don't envy how much it's going to hurt saying goodbye, but be comforted that this education and experience could help her in becoming a better person and a closer friend.

Answer 2

The same kind of thing happened in my family-- my older sister went to school in state, and I actually went away about halfway across the country. My three younger sisters are still at home.

Even though she's a big girl, if you worry too much about missing her it might stress her out a little bit. I bet she'll call or email you a couple of times a week at least; just remember to keep her up to date about everything that's going on back at home. Since you're only five hours away, I'm sure you'll not only see her at Christmas and during the summer, but you can probably drop in for her birthday and other special occasions.

It'll all turn out alright, don't worry!

Answer 3

RELAX -- really -- if you taught her well enough to NOT party, showed her how to study and she is serious -- she will be fine without having to live at home to go to college.

YES, I went through it -- both as a student (my parents died -- my siblings and I buried them, and we banded together to finish college and had Military Careers), so we know this from the end of a young person working hard to go to College as well as I am a single parent with Children now off and on their own.

I can say this is a turning point in my life -- and as a Single Parent -- I can say I am ENJOYING the quiet -- the time alone, being able to tune the TV to what I want to watch, and just being able to finally enjoy my retirement -- yes, retirement! I am going BACK to college myself locally and going to take courses that I ALWAYS wanted to take but becuase I was needing a good career -- did not -- and this is FOR FUN!

Answer 4

OK, you are in need of a perspective check.

My mom only had three kids, myself and two sisters.

I joined the Navy for six years and was all over the world, as are many other military lads right now, especially those risking their lives in Iraq.

My sister five years younger than me went to college also about 5 hours away from my mom.

My youngest sister went to college in Colorado (my mom lives in NY).

Get the picture? You gotta let the little ones out of the nest, ok?

I have two daughters now...and if they choose to go to college across the country, more power to them! I should emphasize only TWO daughters. The world is running out of resources, I think we should be encouraging everybody to slow down the baby making machines.

Answer 5

Well, you could start by learning how to spell "advice".