I was at my friend Tamara's house yesterday. Her family is very Christian and usually nice. Her mom overheard me say "b***sh**" and swatted my behind with a wooden spoon and said I should watch my language when I am a guest in someone else's home. I was so startled I said the "s***" word and she swatted me again. I told her she had no right to do that and she was like well I am lucky I am not her daughter otherwise she would "tan my bottom and wash out my mouth with soap." So I said well I am glad you're not my mom. Then she asked me to leave until I learn some manners and respect and she called my Dad and told him I was rude and need more discipline. She also told my Dad I dress inappropriately, like my jeans and tops are too tight. Now I am grounded tonight and tomorrow afternoon...which is way too harsh!. My Dad wants me to apologize to her. I am thinking maybe but she should apologize to me too? I really like Tamara and want to be able to go over there and not feel weird. Unfair!
2006-08-26 08:41:28 · 18 answers · asked by Lori 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
And yes I told my dad she smacked me twice and he was OK with it! He didn't agree it was best but he was like well it wasn't abusive so it's not that huge a deal. FYI, my mom is not around any more.
2006-08-26 08:53:23 · update #1
Hot Kitten aren't you being hypocritical by swearing?
2006-08-26 08:56:51 · update #2
Sorry, but her mom is correct- you are over there as a guest and should respect the rules of her house- or go hang out elsewhere. Apologize for being disrespectful and leave it at that. It may not be fair of your dad to ground you like that, but I'm guessing that is the approach to discipline in your house. Show you've learned to respect other people (and their rules) even if you don't agree or don't believe the same thing. It shows maturity and will help you out in more situations they you would believe.
2006-08-26 08:47:34 · answer #1 · answered by blue 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First I'll tell you I am a 49 year old, mother of two and Grandma of 5.
I do not believe in hitting anyone at any time for any offense, big or small. My girls had many friends come through our door and some had unsavory language (putting it mildly) and if I was within earshot I'd just tell them to watch it. No big deal.
I don't think your friends mother had any right to swat you. When she phoned your Dad I think I would have told him how her swatting you just startled you into another explicit and saying you were glad she wasn't your mom wasn't rude but honest. I think sometimes people forget teenagers are human too and have a right to express their feelings when mistreated. If it's Tamara and your friendship your more concerned about, you'll probably just have to bite the bullet and apologize to her mom but if it were me I'd have my Dad call her and tell her from now on if you need disciplined it will be given at home not by an outsider, otherwise she may take it upon herslf to raze you ever time your at her house
2006-08-26 16:01:24 · answer #2 · answered by sassywv 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Life is unfair. The earlier you learn this the better.
Yes. It sucks. It's b***s***. and more s*** on top of that. Some are very strict on swearing. I'm more concerned about the intent behind it. Either way, its not a good habit to get into. You might be in a setting af eight year olds one day and let lose a few f bombs. Thats even worse, lol. I'd be more conderned about hurting others than using certain words. Maybe I'm weird to think like that.
Being grounded for two days is not too bad. But the wooden spoon is almost comical- there are worse things to desrve spoon treatment.
If I were you, and I'm not you, I would just suck up. Apologize to your father for being such a potty mouth. Apologize on your knees to your friends mother and have her pray for your soul so you don't end up in hell along with everybody else who using the dreaded s word. Crying helps out here too. Why not?
I'd make the best of it and do a song and dance. There are more important things worth fighting over. Hope this helps.
2006-08-26 15:53:03 · answer #3 · answered by coffee_addict 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She had a right to ask you to watch your language - but the swatting was totally out of line. If anyone had ever done that to a child of mine - even if they were a relative- I would make it clear that they were stepping outside their bounds. Your father should have taken up for you. I agree you should apologize for your language - but she also owes both you and your parents an apology for hitting you. That definitely crossed the line!
2006-08-26 15:48:50 · answer #4 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First,if that lady is a christian,she could use good manners to tell you what you did wrong.Secondly telling you get out of her house is really rude behaviour. Also she has not right to try to discipline you.Telling to your father is make a big scandal for something she could fix herself. If she has children, I do not think she can give good example to them.Is better do not come back to that house. You can apology to her, but she need to apology to you too,for act with very rude behaviour. You can apology her only for your friend Tamara.Think good and good luck.
2006-08-26 17:14:15 · answer #5 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it was right for her to hit you because she is not your parent, but I also think that you were a little rude to disrespect her like that while you were visiting her house. I think you should just deal with the grounding (two days is really not that long to be grounded for, trust me) and apoligize to her. By apoligizing to her first, she might just apoligize back, and hopefully things won't feel so weird if you ever go over again. Good luck :)
2006-08-26 16:05:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i had that same problem.
i wrote a note to my friend..and used "the F word" a lot in it..cuz i was rather upset about things.
and her mom found it and confronted me about it. (her parents are also EXTREMELY religious)
she didnt want my friend around me because she thought i was a "bad influence" which was hard because my friend has been my friend for a long time and i go to her with all my problems and what not.
fortunatly she didnt say anything to my parents..
but i wrote her an apology letter..saying i was just upset and people say things they dont mean when theyre upset..basically just BSing.cuz lets face it..everyone swears.theyre just words.but to hardcore christians..they just take offense to it obviously.
but anyhoo..i apologized and all was forgiven.
so i guess just apologize..make up some crap about how it just slips sometimes..blah blah blah..and maybe she'll get over it and possibly apologize also?
good luck!
2006-08-26 15:50:08 · answer #7 · answered by cuteycourt719 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hey hun i am so sorry that happened to you. that really is so ridiculous. she has no right laying a hair on you. did you tell your dad that she actually hit you? yea i think your dad is being too harsh on you. i think you may have to apologize although you may not want to just to not jeopardize your friendship with Tamara. maybe you can have Tamara over more then you go over to her house, go out to hang out, shopping movies etc...
2006-08-26 15:50:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your right! She should absolutely apologise to you. She had no right hitting you or anyones elses child. She should have told that she didn't like the language you were using and to please think before you say those things in her home. but for her to hit you and your father to condon it is not all right. if someone were to call and tell me how to raise my child i'd tell her how to shove it where the sun don't shine! But you should say your sorry for your friendship sake. And then talk with your dad because his loyality should not be in question...i think he should have spoken to your about your behavior and not just take her side and not listened to yours. Your his child and he owns you the chance to explain yourself.
2006-08-26 15:51:17 · answer #9 · answered by pmemommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness. First of all she should NOT have even TOUCHED you let alone beat you! That's your parents responsibilty not hers. I wear tight clothes, and tight tops because its ME
if she doesn't like you for you, and is going to have an impact on her daughter, then it might be time to find some true friends who will ALWAYS be there for you.. well because you're you!!
I understand completely this girls your friend, but if saying B-S offends her, she wouldve told you am i correct?
2006-08-26 15:46:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋