How do I deal with a very bitchy annoying coworker who hates me like there's no tomorrow? I've never done or said anything mean to her, yet she treats me like I'm her worst enemy. I've been nice to her all the time. I have a clear conscience about the way I treat her, yet she is very nasty towards me. She'd either ignore me when I say something to her, or she would look towards my way when we eat lunch (my whole department sits at two large tables in the cafeteria). I'd look towards her until she turns away. Why is this happening? Does she feel threatened that I might take her job? I don't have any ulterior motives, and she holds a higher position than me. The only time she is nice is when she has to explain how to do some work related task (because our boss asked her to). Then she's back to her old self the next day. I mean, WTF already??? What do I do?
2006-08-26 08:34:32 · 14 answers · asked by eyeswideopen37880 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I've stopped going out of my way to be nice to her. In fact, I just ignore her now because she's too much of a headache to deal with. But in spite of her treatment towards me, I refuse to change jobs because I'm not a weak person or some doormat that will make others happy and myself miserable to their delight.
2006-08-26 08:36:44 · update #1
Why is this person so important to you? Be yourself and allow her to do the same. Clearly her actions are not a reflection on you or your actions, so why take them that way? I deal with the same thing with SEVERAL people who are in effect my bosses because they are on the Board of Directors. It would drive me insane to try to make them all happy, or all like me. I have had to just let it go and do the best I can do at my job, which is after all why I am there. They aren't paying me to make friends. Just remember the lesson of Jesus. He was perfect and look what they did to him! I have found it very useful in situations like the one you are in to pray for the person every day. Pray that they have the best and are truly blessed in their life. I have always found this approach to work. Don't ask me why? It just does. Try it. You won't be disappointed
2006-08-26 08:57:56 · answer #1 · answered by YahooGuru2u 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're already doing what you can do. Your feelings are right and she's the one with the problem. Not you. So continue to allow her be the way she is and eventually she may realize it wont get her anywhere to be the person she is being to you.
Its very unfortunate that we have to go to work with these sort of people. Like we have enough to deal with at home and outside of work. I hope time will make things better for you.
2006-08-26 08:53:50 · answer #2 · answered by smiley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough it out girlie. Becareful not to do any gossiping of any sort to anyone at work. You can just go up to her in the middle of her b!tchyness and just ask her..."I'd really like to know what I am doing to warrant the way you react to my presence, so that I can modify what it is that I am doing." You may be surprised to find out there could be a few things you are actually doing to really irritate her, but you're doing them totally unconsciencely, and she may think you are doing them on purpose to irk her. You're not giving up, and she's not gonna let go with this job...you might want to see if you can take the first step in helping workplace harmony without triggering a management spotlight on either of you. IF that doesn't work...it's time to get the lime light and ask for some advise from your manager (cause that's really their job to create harmony among workers)
2006-08-26 08:46:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is she older than you? I've had that same problem with an older co-worker. I finally stood up to her and asked her what her problem was. It was of course the age gap. (i was 20 she was 60) and I just calmly asked her to look at my work and see that I am a good employee despite my age. And when she started making comments about my gerations lack of work ethic (which my boss totally disagreed with) I calmly told that i guess there was nothing that i could do to make her like me, which was fine but at least act like a grown up and stop being such a *****! I never had another problem with her.
2006-08-26 08:47:38 · answer #4 · answered by Heather D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront them with it, just say "what's the problem here, did I do something to you at some point because if I did I'm not aware of it,
I go out of my way to be nice to you and I feel like the devil incarnate"
There are alot of scumbags out there, someone else may have said something to her that you supposedly said or did but didn't but now she thinks you did. It may actually be someone elses doing all together, or it may be something else you'll never know until you ask
2006-08-26 08:48:26 · answer #5 · answered by booboo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would kill her with kindness. I would be nice but firm. Maybe she is threatened by you, it may not be just as far as work goes. Sounds to me like she has some problems that she needs to deal with.
Stand your ground, but be polite to this person. Because even though she may seem like she has no heart, one day she will realize what she has done, you may not be the only person she treats like this. Just remember "what goes around, comes around". She will get her payback in some way, form, or fashion.
2006-08-26 08:42:12 · answer #6 · answered by sweetpeachiebear 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think we all have to deal with one of those co-workers at one point. I have a co-worker who is the same way. I think that she believes that she is better than me because she is in a higher position and so I just ignore her. Don't let her know that she is getting to you and don't back down.
2006-08-26 08:43:35 · answer #7 · answered by latingirl0527 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe she dosent get involved with the people she works with? I worked with a couple of people that were that way. I guess its just the way some people are ?
2006-08-26 09:08:07 · answer #8 · answered by yvonne p 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is fairly unhappy! yet all of you tried to assist him concentration, on what he ought to have been doing, all alongside. it would desire to be a good co-worker concept to work out how he's coming alongside in this new undertaking, he took on on my own, and notice if he desires help! (optimistically he's working on it and not in basic terms messing around!) no one likes a braggard, yet while the "pat on the lower back" with the help of different co-workers is located with the help of co-workers giving credit to one yet another, he will likely seize on!!
2016-12-17 17:45:24 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to f off and die. But maybe im just being feisty.
Good luck you seem like a nice person.
2006-08-26 08:52:44 · answer #10 · answered by alberto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋