throwing this question out a second time....could really use some advice?

Question

ok here's my deal.....me and my ex gf broke up 3 mounths ago.we broke up around the time of her fathers death.there is alot to it all.from lies that she told me about her fam what they do ect.she couldnt deal with the fact she lied to me so we broke up.she never lied to me about anything else and yes i know a lie is a lie.anyway i know she still has feeling for me and yeah i still love her.i think she is afraid to do anything with me because of our past.i guess you could say there are lil signs that she shows me.so thats why i think she is afraid.anyway what im dealing with now is that i got a job offer in another state.i have pretty much 1 maybe 2 day's to decide.i dont want to leave because i love this girl more then i can explain and im pretty sure she still loves me.like i said i think she is just scared.anyway what should i do?do i just take the job stay for her.idk im just confused and dont have much time to figure it out.please no smart comment's i just need some advice.TY

Answer 1

You have 1 maybe 2 days to talk to her and find out what she wants. If you love her that much and you are willing to pass up a job offer for her, then talk to her. You need to decide if this is a once in a lifetime type of job offer and what is more important. Anybody can give you all the advice in the world, but it is you that has to make the ultimate decision. None of us are in your shoes. You leave alot of details out, like your age, how long you were together with this girl, all of this can play a part in your decision. Follow your heart and you will make the right choice. Good luck.

Answer 2

Is the job something you really want to do? Is the place somewhere you want to go? If the answer to those is yes then you go. If you pass up the opportunity and then things don't work out you'll feel crappy, and even if you do get back together with her are you sure you won't eventually resent her because of the chance you missed? A job is important, you spend so much time there that it should be something you like and feel good about, if it isn't you won't be happy when you aren't at work anyway.

Either way why don't you go talk to her and see how she feels? Tell her that you only have a few days to decide that you love her very, very much and want her to go with you or at least agree to come and visit once you get settled in and think about it. Maybe the idea of a new place and a fresh start are just what she needs to be able to put the past in the past. You never know unless you try. Besides trying to make a decision with her as a huge factor but not consulting her on it doesn't make much sense. Perhaps she already has the answer, maybe she'll say ok she would love to go or maybe she will say you should go because there is no chance for the two of you...either way its information you NEED to have.

Answer 3

First, learn the use of punctuation, such as a period for starters because your question is so rambling and nonsensical it's difficult to decipher. Secondly, you must be totally immature and indecisive if you cannot figure out that this girl is TROUBLE. If she lies, she is not scared, just a liar. Don't try and tell yourself she is just scared. If you miss your job opportunity in some other state and stick around for this girl, there will be trouble ahead for you. And how do you know she has never lied to you about anything else? She may be one big total lie of a person! Wake up, buddy! Frankly, it sounds like you are so besotted with her that you will do anything, and that is not a good way to start or continue a relationship. Yous ay you are pretty sure she loves you. Are you dense? Don't you know? My advice is take the job, dump this cookie, and move on with your life. I guarantee trouble ahead if you don't.

Answer 4

Take the job, this way it will give the both of you, some time to really think things out. I am concerned about why she would lie about her family,...that really baffles me. The thing about fibbing, you tell one, you have to tell another, to cover up the last lie she told. She sounds as though it's easy for her to lie. Was she close toher dad? If so, she's might still be in the grieving process, and take it from someone who knows,..you don't exactly think right for quite some time. Before you take that job, have a very long talk with her, make sure she understands the issues you are having. This way, while you're gone, she can think about things. My main concern is her, being able to lie with such ease. Good luck,.......

Answer 5

K... you say you've asked once before and want advice, so I'll add my 2 cents. If she broke up with you, take that job offer and make the most of it. Stay in touch w her but play it kewl, no matter how much you love her.

If you broke up w her and regret it, tell her and let her decide if she wants you back.

If you really have a crush on this gal, you're temporarily insane and will (mis)interpret every sign to fit your view of her & yer relation. Ppl on YA don't know you or her. Talk w yer best friend and if possible, HER best friend and try to be realistic. DON'T turn down a good job offer to howl outside her house unless she's on yer wavelength. If she's not, get on w yer life.

Answer 6

Okay yeah she may have problems with opening up to you due to the fact of her past but at the sametime you should take the job and once you get settled you could send for her and spend some time together and talk about the issues that she may be facing. u feel me. if she love you just as much as you love her then love will draw yall closer together. just let her know how you feel and tell her that you are going to take the job and that you'd send for her and see where things go from there. just don't make her feel like you is pushing her into something let it work it self out. okay.

Answer 7

I think if you had a job opprotunity then you need to take it because i believe in signs and if you got a chance to move to start a new then it is not meant to be with you and your ex.
Better to have someone you love as a friend then not have them at all. Say your sorrys to each other and be friends move to another state and then go from there but i think if you stay you will regret it in the long run

Answer 8

I think before you make up ur mind to move away you need to sit down and have a talk even if she is scared to talk you too need to clear the air. If you love as much as she loves you then I think it is best to work it out. Now the lie she told could have been because she was embarassed about her family that something she needs to work out in her life..I hope you too work it out and naybe just maybe you can still take the job and she can move with you

Answer 9

Please consider that fear is a great stumbling block of life. I dont know what he died from, but sometimes this may cause a person to lie due to extreme fear of themselves perhaps dying of the same illness. Maybe she needs some time to think of reassessment of the journey of life and death also she needs time to grieve. There may be other family members with this same illness and you dint metion if her mother is still living?? If you really love her so much then allow her your priority in life to see you can be patient and understanding with her and how much she means to you that can make all the difference in the world. A marriage is a committment with the spouse as important as yourself. Love sees no wrong and is longsuffering and total devotion. Consider these aspects and do some soul searching of your own. Hope This will help you and if you are a praying individual I suggest ask God to be with you and guide you comfort you because it sounds as though you are in a lot of iner pain. I wish you all the great fortune and best May happiness besole upon you and good health. Thanks foir listening to me. Carolyn/sunshine

Answer 10

Go ahead and take the job. If the two of you are meant to be, she can join you at some point. Just because you're moving doesn't mean the relationship is over.....it's just taking a "change of direction". Good Luck!!