Does anyone's husband feel that no matter what he does you're never happy?

Question

My husband complains that I am never happy and he is trying so hard but I am never giving him credit for being a good husband. The problem is I am pregnant and so mean and self loathing lately. I also can't let go of the past, he has a child froma previous relationship and it put out relationship through an emotional rollercoaster for a few years.

Answer 1

u know what the real problem is?
when he gets tired and bored of trying in vain and u'll have to deal with his indifference.
better fix yourself b4 that happens.

Answer 2

You are lucky he is complaining. By that I mean if he wasn't complaining, that would show he didn't care anymore. Men are more fragile than what meets the eye. It is so unbelievably important that you let him know that you respect and support him. Put yourself in his shoes, how would you feel if he was mean and angry towards you about something you had no control over? I don't believe that a person can "make" another happy. If you get to the root of your issues and deal with them, your husband can stop being your scape-goat. I have been exactly where you are now (minus the child from a previous relationship), and when I fixed myself through counseling, miraculously my marriage was healed too. Just so you know, there was a day when my husband stopped complaining. He had given up. That was my wake up call. Please don't let it go that far, cause that is way more painful than what you are going through now.

Answer 3

My husband always tells me that and I'm not pregnant! It's so hard being married, I get tempted some times to make a list of all the things I do and all the things he does so he can see that I do a lot more than he thinks I do. As for letting go of the past I am right there with you, my husband dated the same girl for 9 years and then left her for me and I still feel insecure about even though we've been together two and a half years. I think it's important to thank eachother for as much as you can and to make eachother feel good about themselves. Tell him when he's being a good husband or doing something that makes you happy. Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

I am not married, however I am in a long term relationship. We had problems in our relationship that took place years ago, which effected me for a while. I too, felt that no matter what he said/did (even if it was what I wanted to hear), I could never be content, happy, or at ease.....for a while I blamed it on him, and one day I broke down, and realized it was not him, it was me. After realizing this, I sought some counseling, because I realized that over a certain period of time, my life and my outlook on the relationship started to morph and change into a thing I kept comparing to everyone elses, and wanted it to be perfect, and I depended on him to make me happy. That mind set created problems. I realized that he is the same person I feel in love with, I need to love the good with the bad, and my own insecurities came between us and our love. Just try to remember, that you fell in love with this man, you were/and are still in love with him, he loves you, you are about to have a child, you have the wonderful gift of life, and you are about to share that gift with this man. Just try to see that happiness is not having necisarily everything you ever wanted, but being content with what you have, and realizing that at one point it made you extrememly happy. Just don't neccisarily depend completly on him for that happiness, you need to be able to find happiness in other things as well as yourself.
Put yourself in his situation.....nothing he does, no matter how hard he tries, he always meets opposition. Understand he is trying his best to keep you happy, and just knowing your happiness matters to him should make you feel good. Try not to complain all the time, and a sincere thank you and hug would help. And, DONT FORGET......you are not the only one affected by this pregnancy, people usually forget how it affects the man in the relationship. He is going through a lot of changes too....so maybe take the time to ask him how he is doing too. You don't want to be so inconsiderate to him either. I would really suggest counseling services to you and/or him. It really does help! Good luck with everything, including your pregnancy!!!!
P.s. There is a book I am reading right now that has really opened my eyes to a new way of seeing life. I don't know what your religious/spiritual beliefs are, but the book is written with the intent of reaching all audiences....not one specific spiritual belief. It talks about how to start living in the now. I have not finished the book, I am reading it straight through....but I am adapting it to my spiritual beliefs, and choosing the things I agree with.
The book is called: The Power of NOW. A guide to spiritual Enlightenment. By Eckhart Tolle.

***Also, I am a Christian, and I don't know what beleifs you have (AND I AM NOT TRYING TO CHANGE THOSE BELIEFS OR PRESSURE YOU), but these books can be very influential:
"The Purpose Driven Life", by Rick Warren
"The Five Languages of Love", (it talks about the different ways people show love, and how to recognize and appreciate your partners' language. )

I'll add the links to these websites.******* But like I said, even if you read these books, you may want to seek counseling as well, just to resolve and forgive some of the hurt you maybe experiencing*******

GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 5

careful. if he sees that "he" can never make you happy eventually he might give up and just not even try anymore. Relax and try to figure why you're so unhappy. stress isn't the reason. the reason might actually be that you don't love him as much as you claim you do. I was in a relationship like that years ago. I realized the problem was that I thought I was in love with him when I truly had nothing in common with him. it wasn't the stress or life. it was the combination of the both of us. he couldn't make me happy because we were 2 completely different people on 2 separate paths that so happened to collide with one another. hence the relationship was "just a relationship" of 2 people who couldn't even be friends. that's why I ended it. it was NOT making either one of us happy when the entire time was devoted to making the other one happy while sacrificing our personalities to compromise to the other person. it's either it's making you happy and you stay or it's not making you happy and you figure out a solution to the problem.

Answer 6

Yep. My husband says that I am never happy and that he doesn't know if he's ever seen me happy, and if I have even ever been happy in my life. It's hard to be happy when you're always under stress. I think I am tired of being a wife. Being a wife, you always have to "care for your family". It's always thinking about the other person. Now you will have your husband and child to deal with.

Answer 7

I've been there...done that before. If you truely love your husband and want the relationship to last, try to be a little more compassionate. Though you can't change whats done happened in the past, unless you come to terms with it and ATTEMPT to move forward, the relationship will sour. Don't you dare continue with your self pity party... it will only give him a reason to stray. Keep your head up and keep it moving. I hope this works for you.

Answer 8

My fiance tell me he feels that way sometimes and I do often forget to show him how much I really do appreciate him, so I know where you are coming from. I know you aren't feeling the best right now and there may have been problems in the past, but try to take note of the good things he does. Leave him little thank you notes, or even verbal thank yous, anything to show that you do recognize what he does and you appreciate it.

Answer 9

Uh, I think you should have sorted all of this out BEFORE becoming pregnant! You are hormonal, but it seems you are holding onto hatred of his other child. Sounds like you could do with a bit of counseling, so that by the time the baby arrives, you have it a bit more together than you do now.

Answer 10

If this marriage is going to survive, you are going to have to forgive his past, and move past it. Your unborn child deserves both parents, but your resentment of him is going to make it hard for the two of you to stay married. I understand why you feel the way you do, but you need not to be so stressed during your pregnancy. Forgive him, and move on in your marriage! You have everything to gain, and nothing to lose. Good Luck!!

Answer 11

Chill out woman, if he's truly trying to make you happy hold on to that and let him know you are aware of it. A good man who even tries are hard to come by. & anything that happend before you & him is history and You cant change that. So dont even try.