Talking to my husband?

Question

Everytime I try to talk to my husband he says no discussion. He completely ignores me and doesn't want to hear any of my feelings. I feel very lonely and about to crash and burn. I spend a lot of time with my kids and myself and he doesn't take the time out to listen that I need him in my life sometimes. Lonely. Need advice

Answer 1

I guess it depends on just how close YOU are, to the end of your rope. If things are this bad, they won't get better unless something changes. Yeah, yeah- try counseling. Heck, try nude skydiving if ya think it might help. You need to give up the marriage, or change it. You're ready to crash, so ya really can't lose, no matter what you try. Perhaps your husband is a good guy, who has fallen into a rut, or is worried about job and money. Perhaps he feels ill, and is scared. What's wrong doesn't much matter. Unless SOMETHING happens, it's just a matter of time, before you leave. DO something. He needs to see that he's got to work on, and fix his marriage- or lose it. Then, it's up to him. But, you have to make him see it. And, no- ya can't use a club.

Answer 2

I'm a guy....and I'll admit that I don't always like to hear about my g/f feelings....usually that means I've done something wrong or have unintentionally hurt her feelings. But I take the time to sit and listen to what she has to say....most of the time she's right!!

Have you thought of a way to bring up stuff that won't make him feel defensive? Maybe use incentives.....hint that if he listens and has a nice converstation with you.....there will be a "reward" for him at the end. My girlfriend always says, be carefull what you say next because you might either get really fantasitc s.e.x or more talk about feelings.

It's inconsiderate that he doesn't take the time to listen. Hope everything works out. Good luck!

Answer 3

This guy doesn't sound very nice. Why don't you leave for a while, take the kids with you to a relatives and visit for a few weeks if he doesn't change then it doesn't sound like he's worth keeping. I get lonely if my husband doesn't text me during the day so I can't imagine how horrible I'd feel if he ignored me all the time. I think leaving may be the only way to get his attention and to see if he is willing to change and be fair to you. Sorry you're going through this, good luck whatever you decide.

Answer 4

You teach people how to treat you. If you want more don't tolerate less. Ok so you try to talk to him, he ignores you and you what? So far its working for him because it hasn't changed yet. Does your husband know how to talk to women? Does he know how to talk about feelings? Does he have any idea what you want from him or does the whole subject just fill him with confusion and anxiety? How was he raised? Do his parents communciate well either with each other or with him? Does he have sisters? Perhaps he's just clueless as to what you need from him. Or perhaps he's an ignorant b*tch and you need to lose him lame butt and find someone who was raised by humans and learned these things. Only you have all the facts needed to decide which is true.

Answer 5

I have the same problem so I guess I'm not any help. Sometimes, I make my husband listen to me by talking to him while he's in the shower...cuz I know he's not about to leave. And you talk to him about what you're feeling. I know how lonely it can be to spend so much time with the children and not any time to yourself or with another adult.

Answer 6

Hun, that is so sad! You should sit him down and MAKE him listen. Even if that means blurting out every little feeling that you are feeling torwards him. A relationship has to be 50/50 on everything or it won't work out! Tell him you are really hurting inside and something has to be done about it before you go crazy!

Answer 7

speaking from experience i think that it might be time for some marraige counceling or if you can manage finances on your own start filing those divorce papers, because if he won't tune into the woman whom he vowed to love honor and cherish all the days of his life then i think that it is time for him to move on and let you have the peice of mind that you need to raise your children. there may be someone out there who do want to hear all of what you have to say and i think it's time that you make him see the light or find something to make you happy in life. no one should have to live their life unhappy for the benefit of pleasing someone else. you can only take in oxygen for you ,and untill he can breath for you then stop living your life for him. see your future and where you think that this will take you and then make a decision.

Answer 8

If you feel that your marriage is worth saving (I note that you didn't mention how long you've been married, which would have been interesting to know) then I suggest you get counseling. Now. Both of you. There are some deeply rooted issues between the two of you that need resolution.

Answer 9

I was going throught he same thing, I felt that it was always me doing every thng for the family, financially as well, but at the same time i made him realise that if he did not change and stop treating me like a robot that I would leave, it took some time but at the end he came round and changed

Answer 10

You guys no longer married anymore he dont give a damn about what you say and think and you feel lonely. Rather you want to admitt it or not he is with someone else and its not you and thats the truth honey not tring to hurt your feelings or nothing but he dont care.