My husband and I have been married for a year and had only one account where all the money goes and we buy everything out of that account, save money in that account and haven't had a ny seperate money. Well last month he made a small deposit into an old account he has on his own and didn't tell me about it. Should I be upset or just let it go? It was only like a 25.00 deposit but I'm kind of mad.
2006-08-26 05:37:14 · 14 answers · asked by hideemosquito 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
don't be mad maybe he's trying to save up for something special 4 u,like u said it was only $25. besides it was an account u already knew about, just be sure to communicate with him
on u guys finances.
2006-08-26 06:25:38 · answer #1 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finances really are a touchy area to be asking the general public about. Reason? Finances in today's marriage can make or break the marriage. Honestly, if he did that...he had a reason. Whether or not you like that reason, is not the point. The point is, he is seeing something farther down the road than you are. Men are good with this. They are vision seeking...they see a greater scope of life than we do. Women for the most part are very "today oriented." They see what is in front of them now, and that is all that matters at the moment. The future is just some idea to women, nothing worth of consequence very much. The best thing I can say in this area...because this was a HUGE struggle for my husband and I...talk with him...and LISTEN to him. Hear him out, and even if you do not understand him...understand he has the best interest for his family at heart. And his family is you, rememeber that.
Good books to check out:
Personality Plus by Florence Littauer
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George
and remember...do not accuse him of anything. That will shut him down farther. You want him to open up to you. For him to feel comfortable with that, he needs to be able to trust you will listen to him. He may trust you, but can he trust you listening to him? (gut check)
2006-08-26 06:09:16 · answer #2 · answered by Bible Trekker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first , do you have a seperate account that you hide and think if this does not work I got this lil stash ?
Second - if the account is OLD and he places some money into it might be just to keep it ACTIVE so the bank dont do much with the money there in it.Lastly , tell him how you feel and ask questions - he should be level with you and ease your worries on the matter. If you cant openly discuss this then your marrage may not be a sound as you think.
2006-08-26 05:44:29 · answer #3 · answered by Glenn T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I absolutely do not believe in seperate accounts "just in case it doesn't work out". Gosh, why get married at all if you're pretty sure it's not going to work out?
So, yeah, I'd be a little upset, but I'd ask him about it, nonchallantly. Don't show him you're upset. Be calm about it, he might have a perfectly good reason for it, like maybe he's trying to save up for something and doing it in your joint account just isn't working (boy do my husband and I have that problem. lol), you know? My husband doesn't hide stuff like this from me on purpose; just sometimes he forgets that he hasn't told me. He does it a lot, actually. So I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet. Could be he's just absent-minded like mine. lol
2006-08-26 05:55:21 · answer #4 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just maybe he is trying to save money! Sounds like a wise Idea to me...you open a private account and you put 25.00 in it! Everytime he deposits money to his, you depsit money to yours...your savings will double with each deposit. Sound like a great idea to me. That way, neither of you can spend it all!
2006-08-26 06:18:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not be mad. You should also have an account of your own in case your marriage goes on the rocks. You should discuss with him on the percentage for each of you to put into a joint account. The remainder of each of your income should go to your respective personal account. That should be fair to both of you.
2006-08-26 05:46:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I believe in three accounts: joint, hers and his. That way if you want to buy something you can use your money and not worry about him saying anything. I would let it go and open your own account. Fair's fair. To avoid future arguments over money this situation will help. Budget what needs to go to bill, food, etc., then put some in your own account.
2006-08-26 05:49:31 · answer #7 · answered by mergirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been married twice. In neither case was there a seperate, 'secret' account. (I have a bachelors in psychology, 6.5 years study at W.S.U.) My personal opinion... those kinds of secrets damage relationships. You both must trust each other, but you both must be open with each other too. (perhaps he was trying quietly to save up for a nice piece of jewelery for you ! ?) Or then again, just a nice piece ? Best wishes... Butch.
2006-08-26 05:51:27 · answer #8 · answered by Butch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not agree that you need to know every dime he has. I would let it go. MANY marriages fail due to finances. I don't see a reason that every penny should be in one joint account. I think a joint account is good to pay bills, but each person is entitled to have their own account.
2006-08-26 06:38:55 · answer #9 · answered by GreenEyedSista 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that he is hiding money from you. Or - keep in mind Christmas is in a few months. Maybe he is saving money to buy you a special present and doesn't want you to know. Give him a little slack and see what happens.
2006-08-26 05:58:26 · answer #10 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋