if it would be a bad thing to let my husband go to a hooker or someone who can just kind of "take care of him" with no strings attached. I feel bad I don't want to have sex, but I know it is really bothering him, obviously. I don't want to lose him, and I am trying to explore WHY my sudden loss of interest. Maybe medication? Maybe depression? Stress? Heck, I don't know.
However, I love my husband very much,but he is getting misreable when I keep denying him of what he wants. We had such a bad fight last night that I offered to pay for him to go get himself off (practicing safe sex of course).
Pleaes serious answers only. I love him, and if it would be something "safe" for him to do, without the possibility of developing any emotional feelings for this person, then I think I would be willing to give it a try.
By the way, I should mention we live in Nevada where prostitution is legal in most counties.
Again, serious answers only, PLEASE! I just can't have sex right now....
2006-08-26 05:08:09 · 20 answers · asked by April P 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should mention that I would only want this to be a temporary "fix" until we did get counseling and figure out why I am having issues.
I just don't want to drive him into an affair, if that makes sense.
2006-08-26 05:15:08 · update #1
rck69-thanks for your "serious" answer as I asked for. Damn you, I'm going through a very hard time right now and don't need your bs kind of answers.
Thanks to the others who have answered seriously so far, I really appreciate it.
2006-08-26 05:21:21 · update #2
my age---I'm only 33, could hormones really be coming into play at such a young age??! Had no children yet either....have a demanding job but have always had that when we had a better sex life, so I don't think that is the reason.
2006-08-26 05:23:52 · update #3
Good Lord, for the person who asked me if I was fat, no I'm not. I actually exercise 5 days per week. 5'3" and 127 pounds is NOT fat. I knew I'd get stupid "answers" like that!!!
Thanks again for the people who are REALLY trying to help.
2006-08-26 06:45:29 · update #4
Oh sweetheart! I know exactly what you are going through. You need to go see your MD. This problem can be solved. But if your husband loves you, he will be understanding and WILL NOT have sex with another woman. I know that you are only trying to help, but now it sounds like a good idea, but later after he does it,. you may resent him for it. As it would be acceptable that you did. He should be more understanding and worried about you. People go through this all the time and you too will come out of it. You did not say how long this has been going on, but go as soon as possible to MD and tell what is happening. You don't deserve this to happen to you. All will be OK. Good Luck
2006-08-26 05:14:18 · answer #1 · answered by {Lisa} 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I don't think his going to a hooker whould be a good idea at all. I think that would cause more emotional damage to the relationship and sex isn't everything in a marriage. He should be supporting you right now since you are having a very hard time with this and helping you find out why you are feeling this way. Marriage is a partnership and going outside of that for something so intimate I think is a serious mistake. Let him know how you are feeling and try talking with him about it. He should be supportive. I would suggest going to a physician there may be a drug they can give you to get you in the mood or they could recommend some things to try. I hope everything works out and I hope that you don't give him permission to go outside the marriage and if you do that he is a good enough guy to tell you it's silly and he doesn't want to be with anyone but you.
2006-08-26 13:25:52 · answer #2 · answered by hideemosquito 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I read a couple of the answers already submitted. A couple of them are good... to a point. This is serious. Forget the hooker bit. That's just the beginning of the end. Lots of women go thru this after child birth or just with the hum-drumness of day to day stressers. Your doctor will probably be your best bet. If you really have a depression issue... that's the bulls-eye. Low sex drive goes hand and hand with depression. PLEASE... One thing. Don't put this all on him. That !@#! about if he loves you.. he'll understand. It's a trap!!! No man is just going to say... That's okay dear. And then just turn it off. Take the stance of, "If this were a business and you suddenly stop contributing your half. The truth is... the business would fail, and so will your marriage if this is not taken seriously. Usually it's one or the other. Medical or Psychological. If you love him, work together and as a team. But WORK on it. Again... forget the quick fixes. Hookers is not the answer. You are. Nuff said. Caz.
2006-08-26 12:27:49 · answer #3 · answered by casual247 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Join the crowd...you are not alone in your spot! You do not say how old you are...that is important. It sounds as if your hormones have taken a serious dip, and if so, there may be something far more serious wrong. IF you have gone through the change, this is very, very common...
Now, there may be an instant cure for all this, and it is relatively harmless..go to your doc and get a prescrip for testosterone (yes, male hormone, I know, but does wonders for women.) Small doses raise sex drive to unbelievable heights in women. IF you take too much, you will have trouble reaching orgasm, but worse things have happened..getting there is 1/2 the fun.
As for sending him off to prostitutes...so what, worse things than that have happened also. Just know that about 97% of prostitutes are hiv infected. Rubbers are not fool proof.
And, there is always the old shower routine...jo can be more than fun...just stay out of his way if he is doing it. Between all these suggestions, surely you will come to a happy medium. Good luck
2006-08-26 12:19:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be very nervous having my husband taken care of for fear that he would drift off emotionally as well.
I went through the same issues about 2 years ago and it took over a year for my doctors to get to the answers. I would still suggest seeing a doctor because it can very well be hormones effecting you and could cause problems in other areas of your life. There are also meds and creams to help interest the women available over the counter now, maybe these could help you in the mean time. I wish you luck, I know how frustrating it can be.
2006-08-30 11:04:23 · answer #5 · answered by Lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have obviously lost your mind. Otherwise, you would have already been having batteries of tests to figure out what's wrong. Every marriage has ups and downs, and rational adults accept that. So, if this an emotional problem, OK. It will work out over time. Or not. BUT, this might be a symptom of something physical. Make DAMN sure it isn't. And, don't just accept a quick opinion. A sudden change may need immediate attention.
2006-08-26 13:44:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't suggest any kind of other relationship with any other woman for him. After you find what it is that is making you not want sex, this situation with him having sex with someone else concentual or not will kill you in the end. I think that you should talk to him and get help NOW. It is not someone elses responsibility to take care of him it is yours. God placed you as his wife and it is your God given duty to keep him happy. Try just try.... go to this web site called liberator.com. It will definatly not make you bored. Please just try. If he has a relationship even just sexually with another woman it will eat you up forever. That could be worse than what you are going through now. I know he must be miserable but like I said before it is your duty as his wife to satify him. Good luck!
2006-08-26 12:28:17 · answer #7 · answered by vvvlambert 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in a dilemna and I admire you for trying to "think outside the box." I would not start with the prostitute idea first. Why don't you masterbate him, let him watch some porno and masterbate, or try something to that effect. I think the prostitution idea, though solving the problem now, would bring up more problems for both of you later on. See if he is content with you masterbating him or you letting him watch pornos. Start with that.
If that doesn't work let him go to an adult chat web sight and let him engage in cybersex with one of the girls there. I think that would create less problems later than going to a real prostitute. With a web cam and a mic it can be real interactive.
2006-08-26 12:39:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
u may have a hormonal embalance,and is a good idea to go see the doc.or u may be entering menapause the early stages. if you really love your man and he loves you then the prostitute idea is a BAD one.dont do anything your going to regret later and u WOULD regret it. go to a counselor first then to your doctor as for as the 'hooker' idea dont get something started u cant stop and cant blame no one but yourself because your the one that brought it up
2006-08-26 13:56:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Woow,
This sound exactly like my wife!
We are having the same issue as well.
Yes she has been to the doctor for this.
I am very understanding with my wife when it comes to having sex. Some times i feel left out or by myself with in this conflict.
But i would never sleep with another women to satisfy my cravings.
Be honest with him. Let him no whats going on!
For i am very grateful my wife can be honest with me about the hole thing. And i love her dearly for that!
2006-08-26 13:40:05 · answer #10 · answered by Computer geek 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋