could this timing be worse????????????

Question

i just fond out i am pregnant and i am going away to college next week its my first year my bf of 5 months says our lives will be ruined if i even think of keeping it?not sure how far along i am? i started having sex after prom missed period in june had brown /pink spotting first week of july and no bleeding at all since i am waiting till i go to college to see campus doctor or nurse about it what would an approximation be?should i try and sort this out before my bf leaves for school on wensday he seems to have shut down wont talk to me?!we were using rythm method and he says this should not have happened.

i need some conversation starters?

did not now how to get pill and was to embarassed anyway and bf hated condom idea so we tried rythm method.

Answer 1

yes

Answer 2

First, I think your focus needs to be on YOU and your baby. I would give your boyfriend some distance and time, easy since he won't talk to you anyway. Remember though, he is just as responsible for your being pregnant as you are. Don't let him put this all on you. I would say you are probably several months pregnant. You do need to see a doctor right away to confirm. Then you need to think about what YOU want to do. Talk with an older adult please. Your life is NOT ruined. Of course you can get pregnant using the rythm method. Nothing but abstinence is pregnancy proof. If the boyfriend gets really ugly, remind him that a condom might be a better choice in the future.

Answer 3

Sounds like you are about 10-12 weeks. You and only you need to decide if you want to keep this baby. I have known people who have had an abortion and really regret it and think about it all the time. As for the rythm method, it never works, sorry, you will eventually get pregnant. Just take some time for yourself, and decided wht you want to do, and then tell your boyfriend what your choice is, and be strong. Don't take his first reactions to heart as they are based on emotion, and shock. You can still go to college and be pregnant, and after you have the baby, most colleges have day care, so don't give up on yourself. Their are also courses you can take from college at home, and they can tell you about them. Their is alot of supportive resources in most colleges, so look into it. Your life is not over, and your not the first and certainly won't be the last who has been through this, and becomes succesful. I wish you luck, and remeber, this desicion is YOURS and YOURS alone. You are going to have to live with your choice for the rest of your life, so make sure you are 100% sure, before you do anything you may later regret. Good luck.

Answer 4

The timing may not be good for you, but bottom line here is WHAT DO YOU WANT? You cannot do this on your own, and it is more than obvious that your boyfriend is not going to step up to the plate to help you... hell, he will push you to do something you may not be prepared mentally to handle. Go to a clinic or your family doctor before you head out to college and find out where you stand. The results will allow you to make some more concrete decisions. You should speak to your parents. they may be more understanding than you think. As a mother, I have to prepare myself for this instance, if it ever occurs... you may be surprised at how supportive they may be. The rythm method was a no-no... you should have taken extra precautions against pregnancy and STD's, but it is too late to talk about that perhaps. Keep that in mind for the future.

Advice... dump your boyfriend! If he is not prepared to be there for you when it was as much his responsibility --- who knows what he would do in the future! He is trying to put the blame on you, and it takes two.

Your life does not have to end because you are pregnant. Many successful women have raised children throughout their college/university years. That is something you have to want to do though. There are also other options such as adoption, and of course, abortion. All choices have possible mental repercussions though... make sure you choose the option you can live with, and do not let others impact your choices.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 5

please be strong and think positive. your life will not be ruined girl, it will be harder, but not ruined. if your bf wont talk 2 u its his loss, mistake, and ignorance. and your gain, trust me. it may not seem like it now, but 5 month or 5 years, he should stick with u if he really cares. its very possible for u 2 b too far along. even at 6 weeks your baby has hands, feet, its heart is beating, etc. im a little older than u, but my bf of 5-6 months left town after i told him i was preg. little did i know i was carring twins. happy 2 say 5 years later i cant remember what i was doing w/out them. stand on your own because it will make u & your baby very proud in the long run.and please see a dr soon no matter what. and forget bf unless he actually tries 2 be helpful. he will only bring u down. (i had abort..... i cant hardly say that word. when i was close 2 your age and will never get over it. ) i'd love 2 talk 2 u again. and yes, the timing could be worse. here 2 help if i can.

Answer 6

Forget about your bf and let him go. It's obvious how he feels about the situation, trying to change his mind would be a waste of your time. You're going to need a strong support system (parents, friends, counselor) no matter what you decide to do (keep it, abort it, put it up for adoption) so forget about him and start looking to others. They rhythm method is NOT a reliable form of birth control so if you wanted to make sure you were protected you should have chosen something more effective. If you had light spotting the first week of July than you are probably around 7 weeks pregnant. You have lots of options so it's time to really think about your future and what you want. How do you feel about being pregnant (besides scared)? Can you picture yourself raising a baby by yourself? Do you have a good relationship with your parents and would they be willing to help you out? Does the college you're going away to have special housing and accommodations for pregnant women and women with babies? Are you willing to drop out of school and get a full-time job to support the two of you if need be? There is plenty of assisstance out there for young, single mothers if you need it. You are in control here and no matter what you decide to do, everything will work out for the best in the end. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

The rhythym method is only 75% effective. If you had 4 friends that where having sex all using the rhythym method, atleast one of them would become pregnant within a year. You would have had better coverage using condoms or birth control pills.

I don't know what to tell you about your boyfriend. Your lives won't be ruined. Just changed. There are plenty of people that go to college that have children. It just makes it more difficult. You should contact your school to see if they have services and/or programs that can help you.

Answer 8

You just need to deal with the consequences of having sex. If neither one of you did not want any babies then you should have not had sex or used condoms whether he liked it or not. The method you both used is not 100% effective...not having sex is 100% effective. Both of you having sex ruined your lives, not the baby. So just have the baby either raise it or give it up for adoption. Next time get on the pill or use a condom...better yet just do not have sex.

Answer 9

Sorry to hear this. Your boyfriend is being a coward and unfortunately you might have to face this without his help. Whatever you decide, you will need a lot of counseling because freshman year in college is difficult enough as it is. You may find yourself getting depressed, anxious, drinking too much, and failing in school. So please do talk to the counselors. Is there any adult in your family that you can talk to? If you know that you cant be a mother right now, then think about contacting an adoption agency, they might have ideas how you can manage this situation. Abortion is not the only solution. Pray for God to guide you and if you need a home for your baby, e-mail me.

Answer 10

You can and still should go to college. It will be rough but it is important that you get a degree so that you can raise a baby. My sister-in-law found out she was pregnant her senior year of high school. She went to school and raised the baby.

Please go see a doctor as soon as possible. You will need care. Tell your parents and let them help you sort through this whole thing. They are going to be upset but they love you and want what's best for you. They are your best support right now.

You are not the first to get pregnant and go away to school and you won't be the last. Your boyfriend is in no position to help you sort through this. He is just a kid too. However, he needs to be financially responsible for the baby. You will need to go to court to get an arrangement made. You are going to need money to pay for sitters, etc., while you are in class.

Please don't get rid of the baby or give up on college. You may have to do things in college differently and you definitely won't be a normal freshman (ie no parties, etc.) but you need that education.

Good luck to you. I know that you will figure this out with the help of your parents.

Answer 11

My Late Father-in-Law was a NASA engineer and even he messed up the Rythym Method! It is not an accurate form of birth control, because sperm can live inside a woman for 3-5 days before she even ovulates! He will just have to get a job and pay child support while attending school. Others have done it. You can still go to school and have a baby, or you can give the baby up for adoption. Failure to use proper birth control is not the baby's fault and it should not be killed for that!