Me and my friend (both 25 rs old) share an apartment while working in IT. It all started with a bet on a match and it was decided that loser will do whatever winner asks for. When he won, He asked me to strip for whole day, he asked me to do all house chorus and kept me masturbating without allowing me to ejaculate. It ended by night that day. Since then we have continued this game each time loser is supposed to stay naked for one day, he is beaten by winner, specifically on sexual organs to the extent of being tied, whipped, spanked and tortured on penis/anal part. We both inspite of being physically assaulting each other, enjoy this a lot and find new ways each time we win to keep loser sexually aroused. We both just wait for week end to enjoy this fun. In between we thought that we are gays and want to enjoy sex, But thats not the case. We tried having anal sex, which didnt excited us at all. That means we r not gay. Is this a weird behavior? How to come out of this relationship?
2006-08-26 03:29:53 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Being gay means that you are attracted to the same gender, so are you gay? Don't know.
But clearly, being gay is not the issue here. Being gay is a normal state for some to be in.
Your question should be...are we Sado-Masochists? Sadism is the sexual pleasure or gratification in the infliction of pain and suffering upon another person. The counterpart of sadism is masochism, the sexual pleasure or gratification of having pain or suffering inflicted upon the self, often consisting of sexual fantasies or urges for being beaten, humiliated, bound, tortured, or otherwise made to suffer, either as an enhancement to or a substitute for sexual pleasure.
Sound like anyone you know?
If you really want to quit this you must first identify the issue at hand and seek out expert advise.
Good luck
2006-08-26 03:54:46 · answer #1 · answered by tcb9020 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its very disturbing and unhealthy behavior and I would just move to get out of the relationship..but I must say you sound somewhat confused and just because you didnt enjoy the anal you may still be gay or bisexual..You guys have taken S&M to a whole different level..and hopefully you will stop before someone gets really hurt
2006-08-26 10:37:54 · answer #2 · answered by chaoswantsangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are describing combines some elements of "classic" BDSM (bondage and domination, sadism and masochism) with "power exchange" (the control factors---you will dress as I demand, and do whatever tasks/chores I assign, for example), plus sexual arousal combined with denial of orgasm.
If you both are having fun while engaging in these actions (safe, sane, consensual), what's the specific problem? There are a number of "kinky" people who enjoy similar activities and who do not engage in sexual contact per se with their "play partners". It's NOT unusual for a gay male to "play" with a straight female in a BDSM scene and they both enjoy it immensely, even though there is absolutely no interest in having bed play with each other.
For more good information on BDSM, recommend SM 101 (Jay Wiseman) and Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns (Miller and Devon); reviews are on Amazon and these are classics. Greenery and Cleis are reputable kink publishers. Check out the Wikipedia article on BDSM; it's quite thorough and well-balanced.
2006-08-26 10:53:40 · answer #3 · answered by samiracat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes that is very weird. But on the flip side its exciting because you are exploring each other sexaully and that is healthy for a relationship. Maybe tone it down a little. Actually a lot. Leave each others butt holes alone! Exit only!
2006-08-26 10:34:30 · answer #4 · answered by agraat23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are plenty of forms of sexual behaviour that don't involve penetration (in whatever orifice), so not liking anal doesn't automatically mean you're not gay. What you and your friend are practising sounds like gay BDSM - but since it's consensual and you're both enjoying it, then go ahead and have fun. Labels aren't that important.
2006-08-26 13:17:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a master/slave relationship to me.
if you think it is weird behavior, it is.
on the other hand, if you are comfortable with the situation, it's not weird.
how to get out of the relationship - well, you could start by finding a new hobby and or pass-time.
2006-08-26 10:41:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is. Such a relationship doesnt have much of a future. get out of it. Better still , get a girl friend.
2006-08-26 10:33:57 · answer #7 · answered by dreamcatcher 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
indeed it is wierd, and not like *** sex dosnt make u straight either, yes, you are gay, get over it and tell eachother ur in love and go get married by some telephone priest.
2006-08-26 10:34:35 · answer #8 · answered by zero4549 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's fun between the two of you,why stop.
2006-08-26 10:35:30 · answer #9 · answered by Rather be dead than red... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are both sado/masochists. Have fun with that sicko.
2006-08-26 10:34:14 · answer #10 · answered by shirley_corsini 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋