The man has cheated with several women, of which I am now dating one of them.
2006-08-26 03:28:04 · 25 answers · asked by ttellib_d 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Even if you have eye witnessed him in the act, you need to decide if you want to be part of this couple's drama/trauma in the aftermath of your news.
Are you a friend to the couple or just planning to lob this bomb and run? What are your motivations to say something? In general, it's a bad idea for 3rd parties to get involved. If you are a close relative (like brother) or a best friend, then maybe.
If you are just trying to hurt this guy because you do not like him for some reason, think twice. You do not have the moral high ground on this one. If you are trying to impress your girl, your plan could easily backfire. Why don't you talk your plans over with her?
2006-08-26 03:37:50 · answer #1 · answered by Zana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say it depends on how well you know them. If you know them well, I'd tell the man that you know. I'm not fond of the shock tactic and something like that coming from a complete stranger is only going to do one thing--hurt the wife. Badly. And then make her feel stupid for not seeing it. I'd rather hear that kind of thing from a good friend, you know? Yes, she has a right to know, but you have to choose carefully how you tell someone that kind of thing. You also don't really know the intimate details of the situation. Could be she already knows and is turning a blind eye to it, you know? Any way, if they have kids, you also risk hurting the children with it. You have ot be really careful; there's way more to it than you'd think.
But if you don't know them well and the only reason you know this guy is because you're now dating his ex girlfriend, then I'd stay out of it.
2006-08-26 10:39:09 · answer #2 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Touchy situation! First, think about why you want to tell her. Is it because of something he may have done to the girl you are now dating? Is your resoning for wanting to tell her an act of revenge aginst him. I think she should know but it's might not be best coming from you. Are you friends with the wife? Do the two of you have any mutual Female friends. If you do maybe talk to one of them and have them tell her. It's would be better that way. Especially if she is oblivious to what's going on. She's going to need a shoulder to cry on and maybe yours isn't the best one to catch the tears.
Many years ago.... I caught my best friends husband IN THE ACT! Buck naked, *@@ up in their living room with another woman. I told her. I thought it was best for her to know. They have FIVE children. Well, they are still together and she has not spoke to me since! So really think about why if at all you should tell her.
2006-08-26 10:56:20 · answer #3 · answered by fl_sun_girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you that low to cheat with a married man, if you were married would you want your husband to have other women on the side? This is exactly why we can get the AIDS, HIV, & all those other STDs rate down because of people like yourself and that married man your with. Sweetheart get tested fast, and pray that your lucking this time and find yourself your own man.
2006-08-26 10:42:18 · answer #4 · answered by Ipsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has cheated with several women, his wife already has an idea of his infidelities. You haven't said whether she's a good friend or you just know who she is. I would let it go, she will find out in due time.
2006-08-26 10:32:31 · answer #5 · answered by hummingbird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell the wife so she may protect herself. If the husband is engaging in sex with other women, he may be exposing his unaware wife to diseases like AIDS, syphilis, herpes or hepatitis. She can decide what to do with the information, whether she wants to leave him, go to counseling, get tested for STDs, but she should at least have the knowledge she needs. If she has caught something, it may be early enough to treat it successfully. If things go on too long, she could suffer severe health consequences. If someone may have been exposed to poison, you'd tell them, right? This is no different.
2006-08-26 10:35:38 · answer #6 · answered by wynterwood 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its usually best to mind your own bussiness in matters like this. If hes been cheating with alot of women.More then likely the wife knows and chooses to allow this.
2006-08-26 13:57:28 · answer #7 · answered by cin_ann_43 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heck yes, by all means! Yes it will hurt but spit it out, tell her all you know! Because I know from experience it hurts like hell but I would have given anything if someone was brave enough to tell me the truth! I was the very last to know after 7 long years of my husband cheating, I found out from my neighbor, He said Hey girl, just thought you might like to know at our Christmas dinner with my folks, my sister told me there might be a barber in the family soon and she showed him pictures of him, he said that's my next door neighbor and he's married with two kids. You can imagine the look on my face, as he was rubbing it in like it was funny! I told him to tell his sister Thanks for the drip!
2006-08-26 11:10:07 · answer #8 · answered by unohu54 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no matter how much i would want to deny it i would definately want to know the truth...noone likes to look like a fool. Maybe she is naive and doesnt think theres anything to worry about. At least if u tell her and she goes into denial she can start to read the signs and eventually leave the loser.
2006-08-26 11:30:03 · answer #9 · answered by nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it's up to u would u like to be told that ur person was sleeping around ,and everyone else knows but you, then u like like a idiot, because u didn't know it depends on ur sitch.are u guys close ? if u know for a fact that he is sleeping around tell her having some proof isn't a bad idea so make the right choice for you.
2006-08-26 12:05:23 · answer #10 · answered by rachel m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋