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I'm trying to think all the time how I can be sure that my love doesn't cheat me ,Can you Help?

2006-08-26 03:21:39 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science Sociology

11 answers

The only way to guarantee a mate will not cheat on you is to make them a prisoner. However, is that what you think love is all about? The bigger question is... Why are you so obsessively fearful of her possible cheating? Are you afraid he will be better in bed, or treat her better, or she will leave you for him, or that she'll contract a disease?

Fear is love's opposite, and thus, the more fearful you are, the less loving you are. The only trouble is: fear would have you believe otherwise, because that is fear's function; to covertly destroy love in a way you believe to be of benefit to you, so that you will continue to place your faith in its guidance.

For fear would have you believe it is justified to blame others for your happinesses and sorrows in life, as opposed to your thoughts and beliefs, which make you act in ways that make it so. Thus, when it happens, fear can say, "See, I told you so; you better listen to me when I speak!" For if you realized it was your thoughts and beliefs that caused the problems, you would soon realize that it was fear that inspired those thoughts and beliefs, and would in turn try love's answers instead.

All of this of course does not answer your question, but hopefully it will cause you to think about things you previously haven't thought about before, and lead you to happinesses you'll not otherwise be able to find. Good luck.

2006-08-26 05:18:53 · answer #1 · answered by eric l 3 · 0 0

"What you fear, you draw near."
You sound a bit paranoid. Instead of focusing on what YOU don't want, why don't you focus on helping them find what they DO want. Will take your mind off your own troubles. If you are giving love unconditionally your love will be returned. Maybe not by your current love interest, but somewhere down the line. By focusing on not being "cheated" you are inviting paranoia, irritability and discontent into your own life. Focus on what you can give, not what you can get. Peace.

2006-08-26 10:38:10 · answer #2 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 1 0

You have to realize that when you fear your love will cheat on you and you worry constantly about unfaithfulness or are jealous - it isn't about your lover, it is about you. You can't make someone stay true to you. You can't scheme, or watch, or threaten. It won't work. You will only push them away.

You have to trust them until they prove themselves untrustworthy. That doesn't mean being a fool, but have faith until they give you a reason not to. And if they do prove unfaithful, move on.

2006-08-26 10:32:41 · answer #3 · answered by chris 5 · 1 0

You never can. You just have to trust in what your partner tells you, and treat them in the best way you can. Continual mistrust drives people away. An ex of mine kept accusing me for ages of being with another guy. Eventually it drove me so crazy I went with the other guy anyway.

2006-08-26 10:30:14 · answer #4 · answered by trishopesisters 3 · 0 0

Life is never a sure thing. You just have to take your chances & hope for the best. It's called trust & faith.

2006-08-26 10:25:24 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

if you get to suspicious or start accusing they will go anyway as its to much so be attentive in a aloof way be aware of what they say without reading into everything and watch but don't watch if you know what i am saying, Don't show jealousy its not good if obvious.
good luck

2006-08-26 10:34:57 · answer #6 · answered by pete 3 · 1 0

Be honest yourself, and seek relationships with people who are decent, moral, and loving. You can never be sure, but you can give your heart and faith to someone else and trust they'll treat it with care.

2006-08-26 11:42:37 · answer #7 · answered by tsdeck5 3 · 1 0

Even your love can't say that neither can you assure otherway as it all depends on how events evolve

2006-08-26 11:44:59 · answer #8 · answered by GUK 3 · 1 0

You have to have faith in them.

i realzie that is a big gamble, but you cannot monitor their every move and tehy will resent something like that

2006-08-26 10:24:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

its not possible to be sure, but alas you can be a perfect boy/girl friend and hope that your love isnt a tramp.

2006-08-26 10:25:29 · answer #10 · answered by zero4549 2 · 0 0

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