Leave or stay?

Question

So I am married and both of us have cheated on eachother while were had been drinking. After 2 years of hell him treating me like crap we decided to work things out. So the past year things have been goingreally good. About 6 months ago we made an agreement that we would not drink even a beer without the other one around. Well the past 2 weeks things have changed. He has been drinking after work and not wanting to hang out with me on the weekends. Lastnight he stayed out all night. I called him to see if he was coming home and he said that he was to drunk to drive. Didn't even ask if I would go pick him up. I new where he was and I no that he wasn't cheating on me but I am just not sure if I can go through this worrying again I do love him but I am not sure if it is worth it.

Answer 1

I'd only stay in this relationship if you both stop drinking cold turkey and go to AA meetings instead of bars. I don't know your ages, but anyone who can't handle themselves because they've been drinking has a drinking problem. It appears you both fit that discription. Seek counseling and not beer. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Marriage is all about compromise and communication. It sounds like you both need to sit down and have a long talk about where your relationship is headed. Love should never be unsure. Maybe it is time for you to be free and move on, only you know the answer to that. Keep in mind though, a marriage is a union we both need to talk the situation out. Express your concerns, tell him how staying out all night drinking worries you. If he really loves you and wants your marriage to work then he will do what is necessary to make things right.

Tip:Excessive drinking that impairs your judgment and makes you do things that you end up regretting is a serious issue. You both should seek the help of a third party.

Answer 3

Well have to say firstly shame on both of you. It sounds to me that both of you have lost trust in one another, the relationship will not last. You are both putting off the inevitable. Its easy to say that neither will drink without the other but there are going to be times when obviously things happen and one drink turns into a few too many, then history repeats its self. You sound as though you are trying to make it work with your husband but he doesn't seem to be trying to hard. You may want to take a break from one another to see how you both really feel about each other.

Answer 4

Well, this might be a bit harsh but, you two do not deserve each other at all. I mean, with him treatng you like crap? I mean, you treated him like crap too. You both cheated on each other, what kind of a relationships is that? I am surprised you two are still together. So, either one of you is doing anything right. Perhaps you two need to sit down and have a heart to heart conversation and talk about what is more inportant, drinking or saving your relationship? Good luck!

Answer 5

It doesn't seem like you two are a good mix for marriage, however the good part is at least you are trying.

Marriage means living with your partner, which means you have to give up something and compromise with your other half. I don't think I see that in him from what you are saying.

I don't think continuing this marriage is a good idea, it seems like there is bad weather ahead and you're on a sinking ship.

Both of you needs to sit down and talk about the future, unless you guys agree to change thing drastically, it might be better to go your separate way.

Answer 6

You shouldnt give up on your marriage overnight. It sounds like you both need to go to some counseling or something to resolve your problems to see if the relationship is worth working out. Maybe he has an addiction to drinking that he is too scared to tell you about. You all need to sit down and have a SERIOUS conversation and give him the option of either changing or you leaving.

Answer 7

In your heart you feel that you love him but in reality long term painful relationships cause an depedance to pain. Believe me... it's a time attatchment issue. He's familiar. No one likes change. Change hurts. I know you all have some good memories and thats often what keeps you going but you have to realize at some point in your life whats best for you as an individual and not the both of you.

Answer 8

It's true that alcohol releases your inhibitions, but it only allows you to do what you want to do, it doesn't make you do things that aren't already in your nature! I think he's enjoying this freedom with the alcohol and I would never allow my husband to stay out all night especially under these circumstances. You said you've been trying to work things out and now this happened. He's not going to change so you either need to accept this or move on.

Answer 9

You need marriage counseling..Or you are and have both commit ed Adultery so get a divorce....you both are too stupid
to be married...I hope you don't bring any children into this world as neither of you are equip ed to guide a child in the way he or she should go...If you do have children...get the counseling...and pull yourselves together...this is very selfish of both of you not
putting the child in the absolute best environment possible by setting a good example of a stable marriage!

Answer 10

If you even have to ask that then you should leave , all this will end up doing is making you resent him in the future then eventually you both will just be in a relationship out of habit. Its better to leave while there is good times to be remembered instead of staying until there is nothing left but hate.