What do you think of my poem?

Question

"Butterfly"

Spreading her wings & learning to fly,
It might be hard, but she is ready to try.
Part of the process, is learning how to let go,
But her learning to stand on her own is starting to show.

It starts off with putting one foot in fron of the other,
And one step at a time.
To learn that she is her own person and not attached to the hip of her mother.
To learn that she is an adult and to make her own nickels & dimes.

She has to learn that this is wehere the journey begins,
There will be many neat experiences and spins.
Responsibility has to come along the way,
For her spouse, kids, pets, & each new day.

To learn that God already knows of her many plans,
And that she is always in the safty of His great & mighty hands.
To learn that she can either make it or break it by the choices & decisions that she makes emerge,
To learn that from right now the future is hers.

Thanks for reading.

Answer 1

Its Soooo Nice and Inspiring ..and Beautiful Jen
Your Very Talented ..
And You Used Very Nice Words ...
Thanks ..............
Thanks For Asking
Nice Question =)

Answer 2

very good.....what do u think of mine???

" The Girl "
once upon a time there was a miserable girl.......

She used to cry in the rain
knowing the she can never ride the train,
she wantd to move on
but she always held on
her friends told her to be strong
then her man came along

he was tall and handsome
but always sat at home
he never goes out
so the relationship was put

she carried on
but never was strong
there was nothing she could do or say
she's been so weak since that day

That day, That day when she fell
when her best friend rang the bell
then she opened the door
and her friend told her you are a whore

for she had cheated wieh her friends man
then she slapped the girl and ran

the girl cried in the rain
and got on the train and moved away
she finally moved on
and met a guy called ron

he was appreciative
and she stated her preorgative
and both were affirmative

they got married later
and they lived happily ever after
and their life was filled with joy and laughter

Answer 3

You have something of a natural sense of lyricism. I would correct "safty" to say "safety." Next step would be to add more sensory images - sight, sound, taste, touch, hearing.

Answer 4

I love it, it's like a coming of age story.

Answer 5

alright; imagery, positiveness, enough complexity. Little simple for my taste. Kepp it up. Good job.

Answer 6

Wow, that is beautiful.

Very real, what every young girl should read and understand!

Answer 7

You should right lyrics for bands

Answer 8

Very good.

Answer 9

it's cool
I really like it,if you have more send it to me
mcazarias

Answer 10

This is very good. I like it alot ...
Do you have more?