Bare with me. So, a while ago I cheated on my amazing, beautiful, smart, talented (now ex) girlfriend. We went through hell with that. Me with her, her with me. Her going out with other girls while I felt like dying etc. I cheated on her because I felt obligated by the other girl...that may be hard to understand but try. I did not want to cheat on her. It just happened, I regretted it and I still do. We moved past that though into bigger problems. We both decided to just date others like a normal broken up couple. We both hated this. I hated seeing her with other girls and shes told me she didnt really enjoy it either...Anyways I met this new girl. We'll call her Gia. Gia is really very great, she makes me feel good and is very sweet. I was dating her for a little bit...I still sort of am. Gia also always whines and complains and is a bad influence for sure. Anyway, Me and my ex made love again the other night. She wants to get back together. I want to...but then again...?What do I do?
2006-08-26 02:48:03 · 19 answers · asked by hermosa 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Our relationship is not about sex. We started hanging out again recently. We made love. Not sex. I love my ex, still.
2006-08-26 02:54:51 · update #1
a doozy, yes, but a doozy that happens to everyone.
when a "normal broken up couple" immediately starts dating others, it is almost always the case that both members of the couple hate something about what they are doing.
what do you do? you decide what your ethos is. you choose whether commitment is something important to you, or not. because:
if so, you can't have both Gia and other girls. you have to pick one.
if not, then you can play with any girl you want... but not make promises to them that you can't keep.
it's pretty simple, right? just only make promises you can keep, and keep the promises you have made, and (most importantly) be sure what promises you have made and what promises have been made to you.
your problem, it seems, is that you want to be committed to one girl while loving another girl. oops, sorry, that won't work, unless the others agree.
then again, you don't have much of a problem, as you're having lots of good sex. thus almost all people would kill to be in your situation. anyway...
....goodluck, HAND, and HTH!
2006-08-26 04:21:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you both worked thru the problems, I mean the underlying stuff? If you're so focused on the good stuff you miss while disregarding the not so good realities of your relationship, you're probably apt to repeat where you've already been. Be honest with yourselves, if it's about the challenges of letting go -- seeing each other with other women and not liking that -- it's not about the stuff that makes for solid relationship. It's about realizing that you can always love someone who isn't right as a full-time partner in life.
Whatever you do, make sure she's in it for the right reasons and 100% there with you. Btw, Gia sounds like a transition, fun but not a keeper.
2006-08-26 11:25:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok girly.What have u got yourself into?Well ya know if u both still love each other it's never gonna be over until one of u move on and the other realizes that it is over.But your new girl may be a bad influence,but she does have feelings too.What if she really really likes u?U don't want to hurt her feelings.U shouldn't get rebounds involved because feelings will be hurt.But in the same sence,you are trying to move on.But then u need to break ties with the ex.Yall have trust issues,and I know that is hard to overcome.I don,t know what to say really.If i were you i would continue to date others and tell them your not looking for a relationship,that way there won't be any strings attached.In case you and the ex work it out.Or if u are dating and u have strong feelings for a new chick-u HAVE to break it off with the ex.She can't be in the sidelines.See i understand all of this because my girlfried has a ex- and they were like obsessed with each other.She told me i was great-whatever i wanted to hear,then left one weekend with her ex.Then I did my thing while she was doing hers.Anywayz- she came back to me that sunday,and we are working things out.Actually since then she cheated on me again with her.But It sucks being in love w/ someone who is in love with 2 chicks at the same time.I was the rebound she fell in love with.See her ex would not leave her alone untill my girlfriend told her that she was not confused any more,and that she loved me and had moved on.If you leave the door open for someone like that and they know they can have u when they want you.Then youll never be happy because you two know that its not going to work and yor rebound might have been the better choice.Im sorry if i put some of my personal life in with all of this,but it hits a spot ya know.Well good luck.E-mail me if you need to chat more about anything.sexygal8321@yahoo.com
2006-08-27 19:19:23 · answer #3 · answered by sexygal8321 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I heard in the movie "closer", Natialie Portman said She had never left anyone that she still loved. And honestly, thats how I've chosen to look at all my relationships from now on. If I still love you, and feel for you on a higher emotional level. Why leave you? Until I can honestly say that I dont love you, and that I have no emotions towrds you, there's no reason to leave, cuz I'll obviously be missing you, and not givin my all to my next gf. And that's how I feel you should see things too. If you still love and care about her, stay with her.
Obviously making love to your ex is hindering anything you and Gia have planned, so that relationship is no good. And if you can still bring yourself to make love..not "****" your ex..then its truly not over. and all you guys need to do is grow up, talk, and learn that a relationship is about being faithful and giving all your love and attention to that one person. And that since you guys obiously aren't done being in love with eachother, you just need to be real and work things out.
2006-08-26 12:25:38 · answer #4 · answered by Kymi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were Gia I'd drop you like used sweater. I was in the same position as her--I dated this chick named Mary and she liked me and I liked. She had some serious ex issues, though, I believe jealousy and abuse. Then I didn't hear from her for three days and she had talked to her ex and they decided to try to get back together, but instantly had problems.
I told her never to talk to me again, that she should NEVER get anyone else involved in her life like that if she were stil into her ex. I never taked to her or saw her again.
I hope Gia wisens up!
2006-08-27 14:34:03 · answer #5 · answered by Songbird 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be "in love' with someone who isn't right for you. I've been thru it. My ex (over 15 years ago) and I used to fight, physically yet be in love with each other. I left before one of us actually killed the other. I am not in love with him as I was but I do still love him.
I'd say look at the relationship. Is it "right"?
Only you can choose what is best for yourself.
2006-08-26 10:41:09 · answer #6 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if someone cheats they will always cheat again...you seem to be the one that need all the attention ...leave the ex alone concentrate on the new one your now cheating on ...see a pattern babe ....find out what you do want and stop using people ...its called growing up!.
2006-08-26 16:01:13 · answer #7 · answered by Bearable 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You let me be the judge of that missy. I'll be right over--whomever I think is better for you, I'll decide. I just need something to compare it to. So I may have to spend a few days--check things out. Observe.
2006-08-26 11:11:53 · answer #8 · answered by amish-robot 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away
Unless you like having these battles all the time
You and her just dont fit
And you probably never wil.
Sounds like your relationship with her is based on sex.
We both know those never last.
2006-08-26 09:52:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can try but is the trust going to be there like before. You are going to have to prove you won't ever stray again.
2006-08-30 07:34:56 · answer #10 · answered by reme_1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋