ok so I live in London and I am applying for universities and I want to go to a university which is far from where I live so that I can move out!! But my mom wants me go to to a university in London so that I don't have to pay the cost of accomodation if I move out!!
What can I do?? I really want to move out because I believe that it is the right time for me to leave my parents' house! But my mom is getting angry and upset!! She doesn't want me to leave!!
I really want to move out!! What can I say to her to convince her that I should move out?!
2006-08-26 02:45:50 · 26 answers · asked by steven 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Higher Education (University +)
You need to show her you can be independent and mature. Start now. Do your own laundry, cook one meal a day for the family. Offer to go shopping, offer to help round the house and make some promise to her - anything. For example, I will find a part-time job or I will wash the front door every other day - anything. She will then see you are determined. Try it, it never fails.
2006-08-26 02:48:41 · answer #1 · answered by Ya-sai 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could compromise and move out of London but not too far away, how about Brighton, Northampton or somewhere around that area that has the course you want to do. There's no need to move all the way to Scotland or Newcastle, that'll just cost you a fortune when you visit. When I was 18 I was the same, I moved from Hull to Birmingham (Which is about 4 hours on 2 trains away), for convenience I wouldn't have gone further because of long train journeys on Sunday nights after weekends home. Go away to uni, you don't get the experience if you live at home, but don't forget to visit your mum!!
2006-08-26 09:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by littlebethan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
going to college/university is one of the best forms of education you can get, and entails so much more than just the academic part. The experience will be richer and more fulfilling for you if you move away from home. You will learn a lot about yourself, and about life in general, not least of all, how to cope in emergencies without your Mum! You will also (hopefully) learn how to live on a fairly tight budget, plan your own study and leisure time. These are all very important life skills, which no doubt your Mum wants you to have/gain.
HOWEVER, having seen three kids off to university, it's not easy letting go. I guess it's hardest first time round. Sit and have a proper grown-up chat with your Mum, reassure her that you're not "leaving home", simply trying to enrich the university/college experience. DO however bear in mind the cost - many students rely on parental support in terms of finance, and be realistic about what the real cost of moving out and savings from staying at home will be. Your mother might be worried that she will find it difficult to manage financially, if you end up needing her to help you pay these extra costs.
My overall advice though, is, if you can manage to move away, can afford to live away from home, and can do all this without damaging your relationship with your Mum, then do it!
2006-08-26 10:20:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No doubt you will still be taking your washing home to her as most sons do, so tell her she will still see you from time to time & you will still need her help. I think that is what the problems is with mothers - thinking they are not needed anymore once you move out.
You'll need to leave home at some point in your life (have you seen psycho??), so why not do it now?
You have to learn to experience life & new responsibilities and student life is the best way to learn.
Tell your mum you want to go out and try all the life skills that she has taught you - washing up, cooking, ironing, paying bills, getting up on time etc.
Do it now otherwise you be resentful of your mother if you don't.
How many Londoners say "mom"? That's very American of you.
Good luck :-)
2006-08-26 10:10:57 · answer #4 · answered by MISS B.ITCH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you can say will convince her. She loves you and will miss you if you move. She is right about the cost tho... Why do you want to move out so badly? You should have started last year by working and hardly ever being home then she would have had a period of adjustment time.
2006-08-26 09:52:01 · answer #5 · answered by lisapj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is only holding you back from growing and maturing into the real world by not wanting you to move out. Think about it like this: If you had kids for 18+ years and they decide it's time for them to move out on their own, don't you think you'd be a little sad that your baby has grown up and is ready to be out on his/her own??? That's all your mom is going through right now. If you're gonna get a job and pay your own bills and go to school, I don't see any problem with you wanting to move out and start your own life. If you're depending on her to pay your bills, you're better off staying home for a little while longer until you can take care of yourself. Mom's go through this thing called "Empty Nest Syndrome," they get depressed about all their children leaving home, and feel like part of them is gone. She just loves you and will have a hard time with your absence, but if you're ready, then GO!
2006-08-26 10:05:26 · answer #6 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In America, we have a program called ROTC where you can join the military but go to school first. You enter the program and participate at school, and with the promise of a certain number of years served in the military after school they pay for part of your education. You could see if your military offers anything like that. Also, you could get a job to help pay for the expenses, maybe then your mother would not be so upset.
2006-08-26 09:49:28 · answer #7 · answered by shirley_corsini 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of the university experience is learning to live on your own. It may be hard for your mom to accept this but you will learn and grow more from your university education if you are living in a new environment with people who are different than you.
2006-08-26 10:00:50 · answer #8 · answered by Rahab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just figure out where you would move, how much it will cost you.. Basically, come up with your own game plan. Once you know it's a good one, then present it to your mom and tell her that this is what you want to do. If your plan is pretty good, and there's nothing she can say against it, then she should be proud of you for being prepared to move out.
2006-08-26 09:48:23 · answer #9 · answered by piratez_b0oty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about, "Mum, I'm 18 and I'm moving out?"
Your mother needs to sever those apron strings - it's up to you where you go to uni - you'll miss out on loads if you stay at home.
ps: Where did you get a "mom" from, if you live in London?
2006-08-26 09:55:43 · answer #10 · answered by sallybowles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋