My boyfriend, of two years, stays at my place, 28 out of 30 nights, but claims he does not live here, so he need not share in the responsibilities of doing so. (i.e. expenses, cleaning, calling if he is going to be home late, though he sometimes does buy groceries) We can’t split time at his place, because I have dogs and a small child, and he won’t let his place be kid friendly. He thinks it is enough that he has to drive further to get to my place than his, so he is making sacrifices, too. He does not agree that he has any responsibility to call if he’ll be later than 7:00 (dinner time) even if we have existing plans. (i.e. call at 8:00, when there was existing 7:00 plans, to say that he went drinking instead- or no call, but home at 9:45 ) Am I over-reacting if I break up with him over this? Thanks.
2006-08-26 02:44:54 · 12 answers · asked by Jessica 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I would dump him or send him home everynight....
2006-08-26 02:48:30 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you need to get out of this relationship faster than superman can fly, he is not your man to be with at all.
If he does want his place to be kids friendly, I'll be he istn' too thrill about your kids either. If he doesn't express compassion to your kids now, he is not gonna help you raise your kids later on. Most likely he'll blame them for needy and messing up the place, not a good father for your kids definitely.
If he's at yours place constantly and refuse to share responsibility, that just means he doesn't really care about you or your need. Any good man who stay that much time over would help pickup the responsiblity for two reasons:
1. He wants to lower your burden and help you around the house, because he care/love you and want to make things easiler for you.
2. He would feel that he's part of the family and since he's there all the time he should pick up after himself, clean after himself since he's crashing in your place constantly.
He doesn't even let you know if he's not coming home late? That just means he has no respect for you and your family, he put you on the lower part of the priority list and probably don't treat you with any respect either. That just show me how little he care about you and your family.
Buy groceries sometimes does not mean he's responsible or caring. Doing the wrong thing constantly and do the right thing once in a while is not a reason to stay with him. Don't place your happiness and hope on him thinking he'll change or he is still good to me "sometimes". You should find somebody that's good to you ALL THE TIME.
I'm really sorry to say this, but it seems like you picked a bad choice in choosing a boyfriend. Out of all the good guys out there, you picked a guy that's irresponsible, non-caring, and egocentric. I think that's just ground for divorce and abusive husband/father later on.
You need to get out of the relationship right away, and don't even look back. There are so many good man out there that will love you and love your kid in a instant, that you'll feel stupid to ever gotten together with him in the first place.
Have the courage to look for something better, you deserve alot better than him.
2006-08-26 03:02:16 · answer #2 · answered by thsiung 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he have a key? Does he have clothes there? Does he have a razor there? Does he have a toothbrush there? If yes to all 4, he is living there and should help out with the bills. It is nothing more than a convienence to him to have his own place, it's his "out" if he doesn't feel like dealing with the kids. And it's just common courtesy to call ANYONE if you are running late.
I'd say take his key away, make him take his stuff home and tell him he needs to call before coming over. I would cut him loose.
2006-08-26 03:04:10 · answer #3 · answered by msuzyq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you want to be serious. You want him to move in with you and you want to be a committed couple. With that you want to know when he'll be home and when he is going out with the guys. If he doesn't want that, then say you'll have to reconsider the relationship and for the time being he can only stay over on weekends. You can't deal with the stress of worrying about him anymore.
Good Luck!
2006-08-26 02:51:53 · answer #4 · answered by emp04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's a smart man! He is using you and you are letting him. You have your own responsibilities and he is not one of them DUMP HIM! Home cooked meal, free bed, house maid, free sex gee what else could you ask for. I'm sure a lot of people would like to move in with you. I think its about time you laid out some rules for your boyfriend and if he is not happy about them well he obviously doesn't want to be with you. It would be a good test to find out for yourself how much commitment he has for you.
2006-08-26 02:57:04 · answer #5 · answered by mermaiden_4_ever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is using you. and No I don't think that you are over reacting. Unless you don't feel you are worth being treated better. Why would you put up with this for so long? Honey, find a man who will respect you, you deserve it.
2006-08-26 02:50:12 · answer #6 · answered by cinson1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just not that into you....kick him to the curb! You deserve respect. This guy is using you and being very disrespectful...you can do a WHOLE LOT better....Promise.
2006-08-26 02:52:22 · answer #7 · answered by kihteacher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curb. See how he makes it since he's saying that he's on his own, let it be a reality check
2006-08-26 02:51:22 · answer #8 · answered by Tired of lies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa!! Are you brain dead? He is a total jerk. Dump him.
2006-08-26 05:55:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is awfully immature.....don't let him stay so much....kick his a$$ out
2006-08-26 02:56:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋