What do you do when a old crush returns and sturs up old feelings for you that you thought had died???

Question

You were really good friends way back when and you wanted each other,but it never went any further then kissing (even though you both wanted it to),now you both are married and still want each other after all these years........do you act on it or do you just go on being friends and forget about it??? What would you do???

Answer 1

Decide who is more important first - spouse or old crush. If the love for your spouse is not enough to put a stop to your wandering heart, maybe you should deal with your failing marriage first before exploring what could be with your old crush.

Answer 2

No, you don't act on it. Not if you are a good person.

First, it's important to separate feelings from actions. There's nothing wrong with _feeling_ confused, or _feeling_ like you want to act on it. That's an emotion, and there's nothing wrong with having emotions, even if we wish we didn't have them. We're not always in control of our emotions.

But, just because you _feel_ a certain way doesn't mean you have to let those feelings control your actions.

First off, part of your emotions may be a desire to return to the past, when you were younger. But that doesn't work -- you can't ever recapture the past.

Second, if both you and your friend are married, then you've both made serious commitments to other people. Are you a bad person? Are you the sort of person who lies about promises? Are you the sort of person who betrays people? If not, then the answer is clear: you don't "act on it." Likewise, if this person is willing to act on it, then that means they are the sort of person who betrays people. Is that who you want to be with?

Your crush has an obligation to his spouse. You have an obligation to your spouse. If you are unhappy in your marriage, then by all means work things out with your spouse or seek a divorce. Likewise, your crush can do the same. But that is separate and apart from the question of whether you should lie and cheat: you should not.

If both of you leave your spouses and THEN got together, that might be different. But if you're lying and cheating at any time before that happens, then the answer is: you're bad people.

The right thing to do here is to talk to your someone about your feelings, and ask him or her to help you overcome them. That someone might be your spouse, or it might be a therapist.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Feelings like this are often skewed. It's very easy to remember all the great stuff about a person from your past. After all, you never had kids together or had to live together, and you don't really have negative or stressful memories of the person. But who knows how horrible it might have been if you'd gotten married? You might have negative thoughts about your husband, just because he's been around through both good AND bad; but the fantasy from your past was only there for the good stuff; also, he was there when you were younger, and you might just long for that time in your life again--rather than that actual person. So I would think long and hard before you ruin two marriages for a skewed memory.

Answer 4

each cellular has DNA and that's consisted of two strands tightly woven round one yet another. the problem that stops both strands from breaking aside is called a telomeric cap (that's random nucleotide sequences referred to as nonsense codons. Codon is a three sequence of nucleotides that codes for amino acids eg. CUU is a amino acid referred to as proline . A nonsense codon is one which doesnt code for any amino acid production) each and anytime your cells divide a small sequence is lost there by using lowering the soundness of the cellular's DNA (in layman's words). this can ultimately lead do maximum of Ur cells' DNA transforming into risky. and oftentimes even as a mistake occurs in DNA the cellular will carry out vehicle cytolysis (cellular suicide) to circumvent issues. So once you're old maximum of ur cells telomeric caps will be low and they are liable to die even as they strive against to divide.. Whats extremely exciting about this theory is the end result it has on evolution (because this occurs on both meiotic besides as mitotic divisions. which signifies that a species grows old too before it mutates.. yet thats a diverse tale)

Answer 5

ahey friend have being married now for 8 yrs and belive me when i say i still see alot of 'them' old flames around. but i love my husband to death and will never hurt him by even showing the slightest indication that anybody but him ever meant anything to me. Most of my old friend are now very good friends with my husband. forget about gething together with him, just enjoy his friendship if that is on the table. Do make the mistake of your life time.

Answer 6

You forget about it. You're both married and too many lives could be destroyed by acting on the attraction. You both missed the boat and now you have to let that ship sail. Sorry :(

Answer 7

Don't act on it. It's just a memory and memories can bring strong emotion with them. It's not worth the drama it would bring.

Answer 8

mmm this is a toughy. too bad you are both married. are you happy? is he? i'd still hook up with him and see what happens. could be a hot time! but then again it could be disaster. choose wisely. i'd do it though! life is boring without taking chances!

Answer 9

Ruin your marriage, wreck your reputation and destroy your kid's lives to hang out with her, of course...

Answer 10

WOW! Me I would think about were I was in my life, an what I would do if my husband did it to me. Do you love your husband? If so why would you want to do something you know would hurt him if he found out?