If you are a lesbian living with domestic abuse, who could you turn to in your community for effective support

Question

I would like to know what support is out there. Good or bad?

Answer 1

There is good support and then there is bad support.
Let's start off with the bad first.
The bad support is this: not going to anyone about it. Whether it be a friend, the police, therapist or going to a support group in the community. Not saying anything causes invisibility. And because lesbian voices are silenced in this society, this causes even more damage. Who is listening? Is it the straight community and it's stereotypes of what a women should be like, look like and act like? Or is it the gay community that is living with it's own silence, gay bashing and stereotypes not to mention their silent war with bisexuals and trans people? You are probably thinking that not saying anything would probably be a good thing. It's not. But it should be stressed that it should be someone that person trusts.
Lesbian Domestic abuse creates alot of shame and keeping this shame bottled up does more damage then good because it manifests itself into other issues.

There is a big stereotype out there that has to do with women's shelters. "If a lesbian is living with domestic violence, she'll recieve support like any woman living with domestic abuse will :: by going to a women's shelter." WRONG. It's a stereotype that straight women and lesbians get along with each other. It's perpetrated by the male fantasy and the stereotype that ALL women get along because women are "nice, friendly, sweet and compassionate towards one another."
Even though there is racism, (hetero)sexism, capitalism, ableism and ageism, the straight community refuses to notice these issues within the GLBT community and can be insensitive.
Lesbians are gay bashed no matter who says otherwise. It has to do with heterosexism: the notion that a woman will end up with a man and if she doesn't, she is ostracized and ridiculed for not being normal and not living up to the male fantasy. There are alot of straight women that follow the male fantasy ideal and will bash lesbians. Lesbians can go to women's shelters but that is if the shelters are lesbian friendly, are knowledgable in lesbian domestic violence and treat domestic violence between lesbians as seriously as domestic violence between "straight" couples. They also need to know how to intervene and what needs to be said when lesbians experience gaybashing from other women in the shelter because one women recieving support isn't more important than another.
She is already living with lesbian domestic abuse. She doesn't need any more trauma to add to that by having lesbophobic things said to her and other women's heterosexist views.

The good support out there are mainly support groups. Because gay and lesbian domestic abuse is a big issue in the GLBT community there are many numbers to call, support groups to go to and places to go. This is something that the straight community knows nothing about. They have no idea how their oppressive ideas and marginalizaion/silence of all things in the queer realm allows for all this self hate in the GLBT community. . That is why there are so many support groups out there especially if you live in a big city and have a large queer community. Even if you live in a smaller city, there are community centers out there, phone numbers to call and websites you can go to/contact about information and support.
Police can be supportive and helpful but only if they have been trained in gay and lesbian abuse. Otherwise, they will laugh or smirk, say they have other duties to attend to and walk away. That's when you know the law is not on your side and has, quite literally, walked away.

Cutting and pasting a website on here that discusses lesbians living with domestic abuse is the equivelent of cole's/cliff notes. And really, all it does is silence the GLBT community even more because straight people refuse to properly inform/educate themselves about the queer community. The only time they do is when it serves their own interests.

Answer 2

The best place to go for support is at a Womans Shelter. I assume you are living with a Same Sex Partner, and this may be a NEW AREA for the women's shelters. But they would know where to go to find you some help. Support can be Bad or Good, as an example one of the facilitatior in W/shelter was a man hater so her advice would be biased. Most facilitators a Good in my opinion.

Answer 3

Since lesbians cannot legally marry, there is no formal process for dissolving the relationship. In the event that there is domestic abuse, the solution is simple - leave.
Abuse is a pretty clear indication there is no love there, and in the absence of love, what excuse is there to stay?

Answer 4

It's true...any women's shelter/domestic violence organization will help you. I've worked as a volunteer for shelters, taking phont calls on a crisis basis. You would NOT be the only person in a violent lesbian relationship...it's actually quite common. If you call a hotline or your local battered women's shelter, no one will be shocked or treat you poorly...they are used to people of all orientations calling them. Good luck!

Answer 5

Any help organization that handles domestic abuse should help you. Does not matter where the abuse is coming from, father, mother, child, boss. Abuse has no identity. Contact social services or even the police and they can direct you to a center.

or try this link www.safetyforwomen.com/domestic.htm

Just get help!

Answer 6

Well, most cities and towns have domestic abuse
phone counselors and centers, some even have
shelters, if all else fails, what about friends families
to help; don't be afraid of your sexual preference, you
are a person in need,no matter what kind of abuse;
physical,mental,emotional, don't take it!

Answer 7

I would assume the support would come from very similar channels as man/ woman domestic violence, or at least it should. There are well women centres. Try yellow pages or even ringing the samaritons. They will be able to get the contact details for you.

Answer 8

Any domestic violence shelter or agency can help with this issue. Sexual orientation makes no difference in this area. Shouldn't make a difference in any area for that matter. But contact them for confidential information and support. If you need help locating, send a blind/blind e-mail through the server. Click on my avatar and select contact and write your message. Peace.

Answer 9

there are particular communities accessible for lesbian family violence which could be greater efficient. they're going to possibly comprehend the subject concerns to hand slightly greater efficient than heterosexual communities. touch some glbtiq businesses on your section to come across a team the place you slot in

Answer 10

First you would report it to the police for your physical well being.
Then you can go to a gay/lesbian outreach program in your area, for emotional support.
Good luck, and maybe it's just time to leave the situation completely!