I have been thinking about me being married. I honestly and truly never want to get married or live with anyone that I am intimately involved with. I am in a relationship now. I love my girlfriend, everything is great. But I know for sure that I never want to move into together. It not just because it is her, I'd feel that way about anyone. I feel more comfortable being a loner. Do you think this is normal? Do you think something is abnormal?
2006-08-26 01:24:44 · 26 answers · asked by metrogurl 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You simply aren't ready. Some never are. Nothing wrong with that.
2006-08-26 01:26:44 · answer #1 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing abnormal there! I always considered that being married was the ultimate goal or pinnacle of life. Well, I got married, and don't get me wrong, my wife is my life, I love her so much. But, no matter how open your relationship is, or no matter how much you think your girlfriend knows everything about you and she is willing to accept you as is now, that will change when you marry or move in together. The instant you make one of those two commitments, they want certain things to change. Before, My gf was addicted to porn just as much as I was. She watched it with me all the time, no problem at all. The instant she moved in, it is now a sin to see anything on the computer or tv. That is only one small example. I came to realize there are many aspects where I would rather be by myself, and see her on a daily basis as opposed to actually living together.
If you feel that way now, I certainly would not move in together. Be warned though, women don't see things like we do, so she may see it that you aren't willing to commit to her and she might want to split.
2006-08-26 08:30:18 · answer #2 · answered by TonerLow69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with being a loner, it is perfectly normal to feel that way. I am in a relationship but it feels like I'm not. I just want to be alone, I never want to marry and I am not.
2006-08-26 14:32:36 · answer #3 · answered by Necole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a cousin who is similar and very desirous of a private solitary life but yet lonely at times for companionship. It will take a special person to get you to commit to shared living space, but not impossible. Don't sweat it, be yourself, and any girlfriend will learn to adjust to this or leave, be aware that leaving could be a possibility if there is a part of your life you cannot openly share with another. Is it possible to maybe share accommodations yet have separate bedrooms/living rooms/bathrooms? There are houses available with this, though you might pay more. I know of a few couples that have separate sleeping arrangements yet have quite successful, fulfilling sexual and daily lives. A compromise can be met, if both parties give a little. Good luck.
2006-08-26 08:41:21 · answer #4 · answered by truckinotter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just loners. But you do need to exam why you feel this way. Is it fear of failure? Fear of success? Or just your natural loner instincts. If you're going to be a couple, you need to seek some answers, maybe with the help of a professional. But it doesn't mean you are abnormal. You just may have some issues to work through, or some understanding of self to accomplish.
2006-08-26 09:06:37 · answer #5 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is normal to feel that way. but you have to find out why you dont consider facing that kind of relationship with anyone. being married with someone you love shouldnt make feel you bad, but instead lucky. So why do you feel that way?is it because you think if you get too close things will fail?or is it because you think you do not deserve it?
then try to find out what made you feel in this way.
Maybe it's nothing, and it's who you are. just be sure to be certain about that.
2006-08-26 08:42:16 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want a real answer...
You have issues with commitment and abandonment. Most likely a parent or other significant person in your childhood life decided that it would be in THEIR best interest to not be part of your life. This has a huge impact on your adult. It causes you to greatly fear committing to someone because you have a deep down fear that they will abandon you, hurt you, or leave you. These fears are completely normal for someone who had such issues as a child. If you really want to get over those issues, you can see a counselor. They can help you work past those problems so you can lead a more enjoyable life.
Good Luck!
2006-08-26 08:29:27 · answer #7 · answered by Greg 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no. sometimes i thing relationships are simply too complicated to be worth the trouble. or that we cant possibly ever really understand each other. or that i just need to live alone so i can focus on my life and my aspirations. without being pulled in so many different directions because of wanting to have a relationship and my own life. its hard sometimes.
but as humans we really do need love, and companionship.
depends what you want. i for one would rather live with my love than be a hobbit alone in a hole for the rest of my life.
2006-08-30 00:27:40 · answer #8 · answered by russianmdl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every body feels like this at some point in there life all i can say is i felt like that for a long time but am now happily living with my current gf just live life and see what it throws your way good luck!
2006-08-27 04:14:11 · answer #9 · answered by charlie! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always felt that way too. I thought it would change as I aged. It didn't. Now I'm a lonely middle aged old fart and would do anything to get one of those relationships back that I threw away.
2006-08-26 09:06:01 · answer #10 · answered by nightcricket 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been dating? I'm sure your feelings will change when your emotions for her become stronger. It'll come in time. maybe. But I can't deal in absolutes because everyone is different.
To answer your question specifically, nothing is wrong with you.
2006-08-26 08:31:37 · answer #11 · answered by Atmonauti 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋