I'm a teen and am comfortable with the fact that I'm gay, I want 2 find myself a bf but I'm not completely out

Question

I'm 15 and have told my mum, dad and brothers that I'm gay, they were fine about it. I've told my best friend (girl) also and she is totally cool with it, she's glad I told her. I've never had a real gf/bf in the past but I know I'm ready now. 15 is young but the city I live in, it's common for people to loose their virginity at 13/14/15, I'm not trying to be like "everyone else" but I would like to have a bf. I have a bi friend who used to be in my class until he left a few months ago to get a full time job, we talk on msn most nights (yes I have met him...we were in class together) and it is certain he likes me, I like him too and I think he has his suspisions that I'm gay, he's asked me b4 but I just denied it. Most people at school think i'm gay and have been badly bullied because of it, things are sooo much better now and people don't have a problem with me even though I haven't admitted I'm gay. Anyway I want to know how I can ask my Bi friend out and still remain half closeted?

he still has friends at school though which means it will easily come back to school, gd answer though "☺Everybody s..."

Answer 1

Ahhh, story of my life. I think 15 year olds are doomed to this kind of angst to tell you the truth. I'm also 15 and comfortable with being gay, and I'm also looking for a bf, and I'm not completely out either. Except in MY case, it's my family that doesn't know they're housing a flaming queer, and if they did, they'd take care of that in a heartbeat. I kinda WANT to tell them, but getting kicked out of the house and living on the street isn't exactly on my list of things to do. But all my friends and enemies know. As well as my ex-girlfriend (long story short, I was still trying to deny my queerness so i got a girlfriend and ended up breaking up with her because I realized that nothing I could do was ever going to make me str8 again). Okay, on to your question. First, I just want to point out that you don't HAVE to lose your viginity just yet, just because it's normal for everyone else. You can have a boyfriend and not have sex until you're ready to. I know you probably already knew that, but I just wanted to make sure that's clear. As to your bi friend, you say it's CERTAIN that he likes you? Because you can think that, and you can be terribly wrong, unless he's told you himself. I mean, I'm not doubting your intuition or anything sweetie, but there's still the possibility that he only likes you as a friend, and if you were to go on a limb and end up making a fool of youself BECAUSE he only sees you as a friend ... ugh, that wouldn't be too good, now would it? Take it from me, I have many bi guy friends, and I've liked about 2 of them at one time or another, and tho one of them, Jordan, had actually told me he liked me as well; Cameron, who I was CERTAIN liked me, flirted with me a lot (even when he was dating my best friend Jessica), and allowed me to flirt with him back (although I always felt guilty because he was a best friends boyfriend, even tho she thought it was HOTT to see her boyfriend and best friend flirt), but eventually he made it clear that he only wanted to be friends with me. I had it badd for him, I constantly rode my bike over to his house to hang out, we were constantly hugging each other in the halls at school, he let me sit in his lap at lunch (the lunch that he skipped class to go to just to see me and his other friends) ... it about killed me when I heard from another friend that he wasn't interested in me in anyway except friendship. I assumed because of the signs he gave me, but I was wrong. And I don't want that to happen to you sweetie. I'm not saying you HAVE to make sure he likes you before you go and ask him out ... it'd just be easier.
About the bullying at school because they think you're gay. Screw them. Yeah, high school is hard, but you've just got to roll with the punches babe. Of course, I haven't been bullied at all since I came out, so maybe I don't quite understand what you're going through, but in middle school, when I was still in denial and in the closet about being gay, yeah, everyone suspected it and I got a lot of crap about it, and it hurt like hell to the point where I was ready to kill myself ... but it got better, 'specially when I came out. Everyone just left me alone about it after that. I'm glad people don't have as much of a problem with it at school now, but it if ever does become an issue again, consider coming out at school as well. It seems hard now, but you'll see how amazingly easy it is after you do it.
If you're determined to stay semi-closeted and still have a boyfriend ... then wow, you're going to have a hard time. Just being honest. But it's doable. When you get up the courage to ask your friend to go out with you, just make sure you talk to him about how you want to stay in the closet first. Make sure that it's okay with him that your relationship be kept a secret, but also make sure it's not because you're ashamed of him and what you have with him, it's just something you need to be kept secret for your own peace of mind. But honey, theres the possibility that he WON'T be okay with you wanting to hide the fact that you like each other, and if it comes to that, then you're going to have to decide what is more important to you, him or keeping your sexuality a secret. Hmm. Hope I helped! Loves,
~!*Justy Bean*!~

Answer 2

You should come totally out of the closet, life will be so much easier for you. I just totally came out this year, and I cant believe how smoothly things have went for me so far. So i suggest doing that first. But if he is bi, then im sure he will have no problem with you being gay. Ask him out, i can almost gurantee the outcome will be better than what you expect. Hope everything goes great for you. Best wishes!

Answer 3

I personally don't see any problem in coming out to your friend. On the contrary, if you know that he's bi and you know that you like each other and you plan on starting a relationship whim, then why do you even bother to hide it from him? It seems like everything works in your favour, don't let this major chance slip away.

However... if you really want to keep this from him and at the same time be with him (that just sounds weird), then you can start by asking him out as a friend. Ask him to hang out with you as simply friends. In this way, you'll be able to show him that you do have an interest for him and you'll also keep him wondering about what you really want ;) Just start off as friends, see how he reacts to your relationship and see how things progress from there.

Answer 4

look here sonny
you are lucky to have such an accepting environment
I am 18, still a virgin, and still closeted. I find it troubling that you want to have a BF and lose your virginity at 15... but that's sort of beside the point.
just tell him, and see how it goes, and ask him not to tell anyone else. it's not as difficult as you think it is.

Answer 5

Well if he's bi I don't think he should have a problem with you bieng gay. I would say ask him out and see what happens from there. Odds are if you don't ask him out he's just gonna slip away and you're gonna be kicking yourself for a long time becuase you didn't take that chance when you had it.
Hope all goes well. :)

Answer 6

Ask yourself, if he is really a friend, would it bother him to know you are gay?
If it would bother him, which is worse, denying yourself to maintain a friendship under a false premise, or losing a friend who is not a real friend and remaining true to yourself.

In the end, we are all we have. To thine own self be true.

Answer 7

If you're not completely out, then you're not comfortable with yourself. Just because everyone else loses their virginity at 13, why should you? Who says that just because you have a boyfriend you have to be having sex? That's just gross.

Answer 8

I wonder if you have a gender nonconformity, and have lead yourself to believe you are gay, then now are accepting you are gay because of visualization only. well. despite what you may read or become to understand, just know that gender nonconformity and forming attractions are separate issues.

Answer 9

If your friend is bi, then he should not mind if you are gay. He may even welcome the news!
And, while you need to be open with the people who are important to you, you can also ask them to be discreet in who they tell.
Good luck and be safe.

Answer 10

just tell him as you have brought it out in the open so far just be carefull and don,t become prey for some older man

Answer 11

you don't have to be out to everyone. you get a sense about these things, who to tell and who not to tell. you can tell someone you trust and ask them not to tell anyone, if you want.