Child Custody Mediation....What Rules Should I Reqeust?

Question

I have a court date setup for child custody mediation for my kids (age 4 and age 11 months), and was wondering if anyone who went through this same proccess had any insight or ideas on what I should ask, I know I need to be ready before I go, and I wont have a lawyer....I've thought of a few rules I would try to mediate with my ex, they are below, if anyone has anything to add, or help me out I would greatly appreciate it.

I'm going to request:

- Joint Custody
- Neither of us can move more then 60 miles away without the other parents permission
- Copys of all progress reports, and report cards from school
- Anytime the child is hospitlized she MUST contact me
- I'm going to include who has what holidays and what times
- Be informed and included on all school meetings
I can't think of to much more, so if anyone has anything else please help! Thanks for youre time in reading this.

-Concerned Father.

"If you were really concerned, you'd go to a real lawyer ASAP. Don't be cheap about your kids."

I won't have a lawyer for mediation because im still paying rent, and bills where my children are with there mothr because she cant, and they need power and phone, so right now im flat broke, I will have a lawyer for the final hearing, but not mediation....any ideas tho to bring up, thats what im looking for.

"I would include who is allowed to watch the children. Only certified babysitters or whatnot... "

Thanks, thats a good idea, certifid babysitters, or family members

"you forgot child support"
No, thats not to be braught up during mediation.

I just want to add that for mediation, a lawyer really isnt neccessary because if we don't come to terms with any aggrements, then we go to court for it, and thats when the lawyer comes in...and also my ex isnt trying to keep the kids from me, im sure she will come to terms with what i request, shes not really a bad horrible person, i just need more ideas on what rules i should try to set, and then if she doesnt aggree with mediation, its lawyer time.

Answer 1

If you were really concerned, you'd go to a real lawyer ASAP. Don't be cheap about your kids.

Answer 2

Wow, do not know if this is enough room to answer to I will try to consolidate. Know though that this is an important matter and I do advice an attorney. If you cannot afford one, there should be FREE LEGAL AID in your county. Please look into that. If you qualify, they will provide a good Domestic Attorney who will guide you.
Besides what you mentioned consider these.
Visitation, who has them on holidays, father's day, mother's day, etc.
Who claims them on taxes
Who pays for medical/dental insurance
If child support is being paid, what about the time the children are with the paying parent? Is the support stopped? Lowered?
If the parent/s have to travel? Meet half way point? Who pays for what?
No disparaging remarks
Overnight boyfriends/girlfriends???
Remember that the divorce is between YOU and SPOUSE. The kids should not be used as pawns so try to make this split as amicable as possible for the sake of your children. They deserve two good parents. Good luck

Answer 3

father out of picture for about 4 years contact teenage son and both son and daughter want to spend two weeks of summer break with father.. Father brainwashes them and has not returned them back and he is nine hrs away. court order was done and we drove nine hrs to pick up children arrangements that father made with our attorneys and then he does not return children back. children are 12 and 15 and DA states that even if there is a court order authorities can not force children to get in car. Father just states that children refuse to get in car and do not want to go home. Another court hearing was done and he still does not show up and now we have mediation with our children but I doubt that father will come because he lives nine hrs away. I am going nuts. Also, appointments were made for son to have his braces removed which he missed and daughter going into 7th grade missed her physical appointment plus a dental appointment. What should I do? HELP this guy does not respect anything or anyone and has my children brainwash.

Answer 4

1. Both parents must consent before a medical procedure is done or any long term medical strategies. Example: Putting a child on ridilin.
2. Specify a time for exchanging the kids.
3. Written permission to leave the country with the kids that specify times and dates. (vacations).
4. Both parents must consent before a child can be signed up for extra activities like foot ball, dance lessons, guitar lessons, beauty pagents, Scouts.
5. What about location of school for the kids? It'll have to be convenient for both of you to pick up and drop off the kids.
6. What about child support. Who pays for the extras activities. Who pays for medical bills, prescriptions and eye glasses? And if you do it on a percentage basis....what percent?
7. Maintaining life insurance?
8. Maintaining medical insurance plans?

Hope this helps....good luck.

Answer 5

When your there the mediator will have other things you can discuss, they do this everyday...What you have listed is a good start...That person is there to iron out any problems that come up in the future....And those who keep saying hire an attorney, your attorney if you had one would not be aloud in the meeting....Good Luck....

Answer 6

I would include who is allowed to watch the children. Only certified babysitters or whatnot...

Answer 7

#1 every other weekend, #2every fathers day,#3 every other christmas, #4, 1 month during the summer. Then you can go with every other new years day and vice versa like my brother did during his divorce.

Answer 8

GET A LAWYER!!!!! All the money in the world to fight for you child is worth it if you really want him/her!!

Otherwise, let your spouse take the child.

Answer 9

you forgot child support