I have found out that my wife has slept with my supervisor. What can I do to get over it?

Question

We are seperated already. I can not quit my job. I know that people probably think that this is not real, but it actually is. The worst part is that I actually have to work with the guy and see him almost every day. Please only serious answers!!

Answer 1

It's hell going through a situation like this. I can sympathize with you! Is there no way you can get out of the situation? You need to distance yourself from both of them, to ever hope of getting over it! You must be one hell of a person to be able to look him in the eye every day! I myself probably could not help myself but say to him "You know, we have to work together and i have to tolerate you, but stay out of my way if you want to remain healthy" but of course that would be small of you. I can't honestly say i see any way for the hurt to heal unless you get out and start over somewhere else. Sorry, i went through having a cheating wife, with our neighbor, no less! But, i distanced myself from them for a while, divorced her, and it didn't take me long to realize what a lowlife she was (it didn't matter in the end when i realized she would have done it no matter who she was with) and how much more of a man i was than him (i would never cheat with a married woman). Good luck to you!

Answer 2

This is really bad. You have a lot of patience and self discipline. I think in time you will be just fine. But maybe you should see about a transfer to another department. Don't take your wife back, It doesn't matter what she says about you not talking to her and she so so sorry and all that stuff. this is bad and so disrespectful she could have least been with some one you didn't know. I know that's not good either but still how awful. Your supervisor is a man of no respect either I would seriously look for another position. How can you get a proper evaluation when it's time for your evaluation. How can you get a promotion and you want be making any more money because this guy sees you as one to take advantage of. Get away from him so you don't in up snapping. Can't you report him or something.

Answer 3

U go day by day, obviously u need this job, which is understandable, and im sure u feel like knocking the hell out of him everytime u see him, but u cant do that, so the best solution i can think of is , either get an new job, or if thats not an option, then u ignore him as much as possible, and u dont have to like him to be civil and short with him.. him and ur estranged wife are the scum here not u, so dont u feel like u should have to cower to him, he SHOULD be embarrassed and feel like crap for being such a scum bucket as to mess with not only a married woman, but a married woman of his employee.. it will take u a long time if ever to get over it.. and u'll never get over it with the constant reminder of him in ur face.. Is there someone over his head that u can possibly talk to about this situation?? Maybe they can transfer him out, or transfer u to another place or something..
Sorry i dont have a magic cure all for u..
Good luck

Answer 4

This is a tough one! Is she with him now? Maybe you could get a transfer elsewhere? If not, maybe another job? Is there still a relationship between your supervisor and wife? Has he ever apologized for what happened? His attitude towards you would be a factor for me. Are you still planning on leaving your wife for good? So many factors would determine what I would do in the same situation. I know it must be awkward to see him. Maybe you could talk to him about this and clear the air a bit. If neither of you have anything to do with your wife it might be easier than if one of you still had a relationship with her. Maybe you could look for another job before you quit this one? I dont know your situation but I would consider this if nothing else works out.

Answer 5

Find another job and get a divorce. She doesn't deserve you. Life is much to short to go through it in a miserable state. My husband was married before me and that was the very same reason they got a divorce. If you love your wife you both need a job change. You never get over being betrayed but in time you do learn to trust again. I tell my daughters ( trust is a easy thing to lose and a hard thing to gain back.) My heart goes out to you and I hope everything works out well.

Answer 6

Were you separeated at the time , that happened.? You should just go on doing your work. Talk to him only when you have to.. Are you seeing your wife. ,trying to get back together. Yes things like that can happen , but you be strong and don't let something like that ruin your self.. If it gets to uncomforable look for a job elsewhere, but don't quit untill you have another one lined up. Good luck Pem

Answer 7

Whoa that was a low blow seriously I think you should look for emploment elsewhere when you arent working but in the mean time I think you should definitely let him have her shes broken the vows and like i said that was a low blow on both his and her part move on you can do better you need to be with a woman who respects you enough not to so bed hopping especially with your supervisor that was grimy.

Answer 8

You know what you have to be the better man about the situtation because you need your job and sorry to tell you if someone would cheat on anybody then it was not ment to be no matter how much you try to get over it you are going to have to sit down and oray the god give you strength not to do wnything stupid ......Good Luck

Answer 9

Since you guys are already separated, try to put these behind you and pretend nothing has happened at your workplace. I know the incident will still bug you, just keep your cool. If you can't, why not request for a transfer to other departments instead?

Answer 10

Be the bigger person here - only talk to the supervisor when you need to and keep it about work when at work.

Maybe you could transfer to a different shift or position in the company?

Good luck!

Aloha!