my bf just asked me to marry him!!!!!?

Question

i'm only 16 please mail me some advice at
[e-mail]

Answer 1

Dear alexzandria,

16 is not too young. Girls matured earlier than boys. So at the age of 16 your are not too young for marriage. If you were let say below 13 then ill say yes.

The reason why many believe that the age of 16 is too young is because we are confine and bounded by set or rules or thinking that is created by ourselves. For example when we think senior citizen we say its at the age of 50+, By the age of 30 you should got married, etc etc etc. This are just people mindset.

If you follow history, there are stories of warrior at the age 0f 50+ still fit to defend their land and also there are many that marries at the age of 13-16. years old.

Now the problem with this rules and perceptions will be simply you are not being true to yourself. Imagine let say you keep on following them, and decides that at 16 you're too young to get married, and then your luck went down hill. You didnt get to meet the lucky guy like you did back then until youre 30+. Then you will start to panic and get desperate as the general perceptions and thinking state that you must get married b4 30+. I think you get the idea?

So dont be a follower of the general mindset, be unique and think what you feels like. If you really think at 16 you should not yet be married as you are too young and should focus on trying to better yourself in studies or career. Then let it be. But remember there nothing wrong with thinking at the age of 16 i want to get settle down and get married, have a family.

Finally, last piece of advice, think carefully and dont rush into the decision to say No or Yes to him. Its your life and its how you want to live it. Don't let others plan your life for you.

A small tip will be if you truly find him an amazing person to spend your whole life with than that will be something to think about.

Regards,

Happy. Dont be Sad.

Answer 2

It is not a matter of 16 being too youn got get married it is matter of change.

At 16 you are still changing very fast. Your interests, your thought processes, your ideas, your views.

Try this. Think about your self just 2 years ago. When you were 14. How different are you now from the you of 2 years ago? Think about it carefully. I am betting you have really really changed in the last 2 years. Am I right?

Well you in 2 more years will be as different from you now as you now are from you two years ago. And the you of 20 will be worlds apart from the 16 year old you. YOu really don't start slwoing down the changing proces till you reach your twenties.

That is why it is better to wait till you have put more of the changing behind you. Don't for get this changing process applies to your BF too. And I have ot tell you I was married at 16. Having a house to clean, bills to pay, dinner to fix every day, laundry to do, grocery shopping to do dishes, etc...it really really sucked!!!! I can't stress all that enough! Enjoy the lack of responsibiliy while you can.

One more thing. I fele I have to tell you this but when a guy askes you to marry him most of the time the next thing is sex. If you have not been having sex, since you are going to get married or since he wants to marry you it will be alright to have sex. If you have been having sex he will want it more or with out condomes (since you are probaly going to get married ti won't matter if you get pregnant). This seems top hold true for guys of any age! Young or old.

Just don't l;et a marriage proposal cloud your thinking you have a whole life ahead of you.

Answer 3

I dont think its legal #1, maybe with your parents permission in some states. When you are 16, you are at a point in your life where you are still discovering who you are. It is definately not a time to make serious life altering decisions like marriage. If you and your boyfriend feel like you two are meant to be together then it wont hurt the realtionship to wait till a more appropriate and legal time.

Marriage is meant to be for life, it is not a decision to be taken lightly. There are many marriages that dont last just because people grow in different ways. This doesn't only apply to teen marriages.

Marriage is also a lot of work, its not going to be love struck heaven even 50% of the time. There will be times, even daily that you or he have to make sacrafices for eachother. Wether its something as simple as not complaining about how it annoys you that he throws the wet towels on the floor after a bath to working full time so another can go to school full time. You have to know how to argue with eachother, when and how to give eachother space and be 100% confident that this person is who you want to be with and makes you happy as well as not afraid that they might feel differently.

I suggest if you two are ready to be serious then go steady, get involved in a church together and go from there. There's proms, football games, and parties ahead of you in the near future. Enjoy all thoose things. Then you have college if you choose to go. You will find yourself growing a lot after you leave high school, and so will he. If you two can outlast high school and some college together, getting to the point where you know for sure this is what you both want. Then and only then go for it, because you know you will have something that lasts.

Answer 4

Not No, but HELL NO! Marriage in this day and age is tough enough, and the chances are WAY LOW that you will finish school, get a good job, buy that house together.... all the dreams if you get married this young. In all the positive ways, you have more growing up to do before you make that giant leap toward the future. Finish school and enjoy life a bit more before you start a life with someone else. Trust me, you will be glad you waited!

Answer 5

Have a long engagement. I was in love @ 16. I too had marriage proposal(s). You are young and things may look rosy now but may look a little different in a few years. OR they may look the same. My advice, wait til you graduate high school to re-evaluate this marriage proposal. If everything is still good between you two, consider maybe finishing college(if you plan to go) that way you can secure your future financially at least. If your in love then what is a few more years? your going to be together forever right?!

Answer 6

How long have you known him? Can you see yourself with him for the rest of your life? Can you rely on him to always be there for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health? Is he good with kids?

These are just some of the questions you need to seriously consider before rushing into a marriage. It's easy to ask the question and give an answer. It's harder to realize later that you made a mistake when you have children involved and the marriage is failing because you didn't see the overall picture of who he or she really is before you said, "I do."

I say commit, but don't walk the aisle until after college. Get your life in order first, then get married.

Answer 7

16 is too young. Instead of saying no to him, ask to wait a few years, til you are 18 or 20. Then if the two of you feel that you still want to get married, do it. Think about this carefully, it is a big step in life. Also consider how it will change your life.

Answer 8

You are too young... You have a lot more life to experience before you should settle into something... Date some more... Go to college,,, Live on your own for a while make some lifelong friends... if this guy is still in your life ten years down the line then maybe marriage is the next step... but wait until then

Answer 9

Wait 9 years! You have so much time before you should worry about marriage. From my experience people change a lot from the time that they are 18 to 25. You're only 16, you have a lot of living to do. Wait.

Answer 10

Way to young...you'll be asked to do this 100's of times...you'll probably not get married to this boy friend.....

You're 16...what's the rush.....you have your whole life ahead of you. Life will not pass you by...trust me...

maybe when you're 25-28 announce this marriage thing!!! By that time you'll have finished college....have started a career...and will be self-supporting....$$$ in the bank etc. By then you'll find out marriage is not all what it's cracked up to be!!

Marriage at 16...big big huge mistake...