My parents are WAYYYY to strict, i know its because they love me but any ideas how to get them to lighten up?

Question

i am a 15 year old girl with all guy friends, all ages 15-17 (one will be turning 18 soon). And they are wayyy to strict, i could be at a local park in a huge group and i still have to be home by sundown, I cant go anywhere after 7:30 even though its summer, and i get kicked off the computer and phone at 10.

Also my mom has to tag along on all of my dates and its soooo annoying. This guy i really like who is 17 but really really nice and sweet asked me out, to go to 2 plays in one day and my mom was going to tag along but something happened with my dog where she couldnt, i was soo happy that she didnt come.

They also want access to my computer to snoop on it whenever they want

any ideas on how to get them to lighten up?

i want teens and parents answers

fyi, the date i mentioned was to see 2 theatre plays, one was the Wizard of Oz that one of our friends was in and this musical called Yearbook that another one of our friends was in.

I am trustworthy, i do volunteer work in my spare time, i volunteered at the public library twice a week all summer and on Monday i start another volunteer job

I have a 3.8 GPA only because i got a B+ in Honors Geometry. The guy that asked me out has a 4.1 GPA and all of my friends have a 3.8 GPA or better. I am the second biggest geek you would have ever met in your life, (the guy that asked me out is the first) At my school i will be the first sophomore to be president of 2 clubs at the same time and the first female president of the technology club.

Im not a bad kid, and i dont hang out with bad kids, i just dont see why my parents are so strict with me

Answer 1

trust me you have to wait you cannot force them to change or anything if you try it will backfire and create more problems if i were you i would just wait it out there is no other way

Answer 2

The more you try to change them, the more strict they will become.

The trick is to to what they ask without being unhappy about it & occasionally (AND I MEAN OCCASIONALLY) ask them for a small change. If you always get home 5 minutes before the curfew & then one night ask if you can come back 15 minute later than usual they should say OK.

Again - make sure you get back 5 minute earlier. Your friends don't have to know you struck a deal, they will just see you "staying out longer".

Continue this way, be patient and all will be well. Your parents love you very much & probably trust you completely. Unfortunately, because the minority in this worls set out to harm people - your parents will find it difficult to trust others.

Good luck!

Bit by bit the rules will soften.

Answer 3

Obviously to your parents, it doesnt matter how good you do in school or how responsible you are. They aren't afraid of what you are going to do...they are afraid of what other people will do.

I think one of your biggest problems could be your hanging out with some older people and also, you're hanging out with guys. A lot of parents are less strict with boys simply because most people feel guys can take better care of themselves when they are out.

You're young and just know that. I agree that your mom is being overprotective. Maybe you should speak to her about wanting to be able to be open and honest with her, instead of feeling like you need to sneak around and rebel against her. Don't threaten her, but just let her know that you aren't 10 anymore. You are 15, and although thats young...when I was 15, I was able to make good decisions and responsible decisions. Don't whine or anything.

I would let them go on your computer. It really doesn't matter, because you're not hiding anything, right? Maybe you're parents will trust you more if they see you arent doing anything on your computer and they will let you go out more with your friends.

If I were you, I would go to my mother and tell her that I'm in high school and that eventually, you will have to make your own decisions. And right now, you would appreciate being able to try and make your own decisions. Tell her that you will always ask her opinion and get her advice, but that you would also appreciate her respecting your opinions and decisions.

Answer 4

You need to sit them down and explain that they have done a great job raising you, but they need to let you have some freedom. The only way you are going to learn from your mistakes is if they let you make a few. Tell them you realize they are nervous about you going out on dates, but that you are responsible and know how to take care of yourself. No guy likes to go on a date with Mom too. Don't get defensive, because that will just shut them down back into protective mode. Good luck sweetie.

Mom of 2 little girls, but yet still young enough to remember what it was like to be 15.

Answer 5

It is your parents' responsibility to keep you safe, to keep you from harm. That is the reason for the rules. You are only 15, the rules that you listed are not that unreasonable for someone your age. As you get older, and your parents are sure that you have good judgement, and can make smart decisions, they will certainly extend your curfew. The access on the computer makes sense. I always insisted on having all passwords,, and access to anything they may have seen. That, too , is for the child's protection. There are people out there that are wanting to find unsupervised children, that hurt children or younger teens. None of this is unreasonable, be patient. You will have your freedom soon enough.

Answer 6

My son (17) also has rules of the house. As he gets older, he earns more privileges. However if he demonstrates a lack of respect for those privileges, he looses some of them. Your mom wants to make sure you're safe. I think going on your dates may be a bit much, however, you are also too young to be dating a 17 year old. At 15, my son's curfew was 5:00 during school days, and 8:00 on weekends or during the summer. Now it's 5:00 weeknights (now that school's back on) and 9:00 weekends. As far as your parents wanting access to your computer, absolutely, positively they should have it! They arent trying to "snoop". They are being responsible, concerned parents who are making sure no one is out there trying to harm their daughter.

Answer 7

i'm 25 so i'm not quite in your "answer" group but i still think i can add some insight. my parents were very strict growing up and made sure i was home by a certain time and didn't let me go over to friends houses without knowing their parents and meething them face to face. i was really pissed off about it and thought they were being WAY too controlling. my wife on the other hand, her parents let her do pretty much whatever she wanted as long as she didn't lie or decieve them. so she would go out till 2 in the morning and do her homework whenever as long as she got good grades and was responsible. we both had awesome times in high school and still are friends with a lot of people that we were back then. looking back on it...i know why they did it. it doesn't make it any easier going through it...but they are doing it because they love you and want to make sure you don't get hurt. i eventually told my parents to just let me do something on my own (i think it was go over to a friends house they didn't know) and if i got in trouble or wasn't home when they wanted me to be, then i would drop it and go with their rules. i was home on time and everything was okay...they gradually lightened up with that. man...that was a hell of a lot longer than i originally intended...sorry :)

Answer 8

Do you have any older siblings that caused problems? Sometimes that can cause a parent to stress out a little bit. If not just tell your mom it is humiliating for you to have her tag along on a date. Tell her you love her and all that but you are growing up and need a little space. Promise her,(and stick to it) that you aren't going to do anything to disappoint her. Always stick to your curfews...don't be late for anything! As far as the computer goes, it's good that they are checking that stuff out due to all the idiots out there. Maybe y'all can find a happy medium...I'm a mother of 4. They're grown now but I can understand a little bit of both sides.

Answer 9

I'm a parent and although I agree that maybe they are too protective,I also know what could happen to you.There's date rape,kids puttin drugs in your drink,pedophiles on every corner and the fact that teenagers CANNOT DRIVE:0),my daughter lets me check her myspace and tells me alot about what she's doin but teens never tell it all and YOU know that.Tell them that they can trust you and MEAN it.Give them NO reason not to.Tell them that although the world is a dangerous place ,you happen to live in it and should have a part in it{That's age appropiate}.Tell them that teenagers aren't evil and that YOU have to make YOUR own mistakes and they can't shelter you forever.Prove to them you can be trusted to take care of yourself .Good luck and don't be hard on them ...they're just worried about what the world might hand you...It's not always daisies.

Answer 10

I guess I'm not too worried about a parent who is too strict. It is the parents who are to lenient that are worrisome. You will be an adult very soon and will be able to make all your own choices. Just try to appreciate that your parents care enough about you to be strict. Also, if you had a few girlfriends to hang out with, maybe your parents would let you go out with them without coming along.

Answer 11

Everything sounds reasonable, accept for that 7:30 bullshit and tagging along on dates. Get them to stop those 2 things. They should be able to monitor your computer a little bit, and 10 for phone and internet is pretty reasonable. Just be happy their not to loose.