We have been together for 3 years this week. I just moved 3 states away just to be with him. I already knew when we were living together before that he had a thing for this girl. She moved with him to this TN and then 3 months later is when i came. He keeps telling me that its nothing with them but i caught him through his text messages going to see her the other day. Shes already told everyone that she doesnt like him like that and thats why she moved out of his house. Im just so depressed b/c i moved away from my whole family and i dont have anyone else here that i can turn too. Should i believe him? He wont even tell her now that i live with him. So im doing to investigating on my own to get her # so i can find out for myself. And if anyones got any tips on how to locate someone then let me know.
2006-08-25 16:01:58 · 16 answers · asked by crystalyn129 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Tell him to cut all contact with her. If he doesn't then have the self confidence and respect to leave him once and for all. Don't put up with this.
2006-08-25 16:04:39 · answer #1 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should you believe him?---whether we say yes or no, deep down you will still have doubts about him. The trust is broken and he's obviously hiding things from you. You should know it's time to go when you're wasting your time playing inspector gadget instead of using that energy to better yourself. Also, most guys think that cheating has to involve physical connection (sex) but in actuallity, there's also such a thing as cheating emotionally which is just as bad as, if not worse, as sexually cheating. To top it all off, he keeps you a secret???
What is getting a hold of the other girl gonna do for you? It'll just break your heart even more. It is true what they say "Curiosity kills the cat". I say leave and take your pride and dignity with you. If you can stand to live in the same town and can afford to stay there on your own, then do so. But my advice, go back home to something that's familiar. Be with the people that truly love and care about you. 3 years is a long time and getting over it will only be hard if you let it consume you. This too shall pass. Remember that.
2006-08-25 16:14:16 · answer #2 · answered by 00jag 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let me see if I understand the situation you have moved into. Let see, three months he was living with another girl and she moved to TN with him. Then you knew he was living with the other girl when they moved to TN. But you found out that she was gone so you move down to TN to be with him, thinking that he was there waiting for you with open arms. Well what do you expect. He lived with her for a short time, and maybe she and he have gotten some issues to close out. If she is gone out of the house, why would you think she would leave where she was with him to go live somewhere else and still keep up a relationship? Does that make any sense at ALL?
It maybe a fact that he still likes her but not necessarily means he is cheating on you. Think about it. Why would a girl who, if she still likes him want to move out of his place, so that you could come and live with him, then keep the relationship going? Would you do that? Maybe you moved three states away to live with him, but did you think to find out if he loves you? You come running into his life thinking she was gone and you had him. Well Sister, men don't work that way. If she was gone and you wanted to come to live with him... why would he say no? But you need to ask yourself is he really worth it, to stay with him if he has not given her up in his mind.
Listen my dear, moving three states away is not a big deal, you made a decision to do it. Now reality has come home to roost and you are finding that he may have a thing for an old flame. But I am sure she doesn't, unless this girl is really dumb.
It is not her fault he keeps wanting to see her. You can't tell him not to. You are not married, you are just the live in girlfriend. He is a free man. It is his apartment. He has you there because he wants you to be there for companionship, most likely.
You have to ask yourself is this the man of your dreams or just a figment of your loving imagination? If you made a mistake OK, move back home to your family. They will understand and you have just spent time with him. But don't blame the girl. She is the one that moved out. If you want to stay with him, then trust him and support him until you find real evidence of trustworthiness on his part. But leave the poor girl that move out and made a place for you alone.
It is his problem and yours... not hers... she had him first and she is the one that gave him to you.
2006-08-25 16:26:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet heart let it go. That sounds like a very stessful environment. In a relationship you should not have to stress about what you mate is doing. Its called trust. And you don't trust him so how can you build on nothing? gO BACK TO YOUR FAMILY AND TAKE CARE OF YOU? Make yourself happy cause that is the only way you can truly be happy with someone else. Much luck. God Bless hun;)
2006-08-25 16:09:34 · answer #4 · answered by STAR 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in the exact situation before. You gotta do what makes you happy. Worrying and being paranoid isnt good for either of you. Tell him you want to go back home and see if he offers to go with you, if he says he cant, then hes not willing and never will be willing to make the same sacrifices as you did.Find someone new and start with a clean slate.
2006-08-25 16:08:35 · answer #5 · answered by rick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Peoplesearch.com
Cheaters.com for the show :-)
You actually moved away from your family when you knew this man had a thing for a woman living in his house?
Wake up sweetie :-)
Men think with the wrong head!
2006-08-25 16:07:10 · answer #6 · answered by rvogelpohl2001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, this doesn't sound too good - you shouldn't have moved out there if your relationship wasn't stable. In fact, that is probably the exact reason why you did move out there, right - because you're relationship was unstable & you thought that it would make it better, huh.....
2006-08-25 16:10:08 · answer #7 · answered by BB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is he hiding the fact you are living with him? Why was she living with him in the first place? I think they have something going on. You can try zabasearch.com, it's a new search engine especially for finding people.
2006-08-25 16:07:42 · answer #8 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with what you feel if you can't trust him you should move on. If you are going to stay you need to trust him. Always investigate though it never hurts.
2006-08-25 16:06:02 · answer #9 · answered by 2strongfor2long 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read some tips on this site on how to catch a cheating lover
2006-08-25 16:04:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋