How many people, male or female, have had extramarital affairs?

Question

I found out my wife had an ongoing affair with a friend of mine (obviously not any longer). She has proven herself as repentant, and it's been okay since (about 4 years). Everyone always complains that the guys are the dogs, and I'm here to tell you they are hooking up with SOMEONE! Any views on this? (Feel free to e-mail me too but be honest and open!)

Answer 1

Television has recently been talking about the increase in married women cheating on their husbands. Many women supposedly cheat because they are lonely. Well, my guess is men also get lonely and are looking for something that they are not getting from their spouse. No matter what the reasons are, cheating is always a symptom of some problem within the marriage and it is always, WRONG. You are more forgiving than I would be. Actually, the forgiving problem wouldn't be the problem with me, I wouldn't be able to forget. I'm sure the distrust would eat my marriage alive...

Answer 2

I just watched this show last week on CNN presents via ipod called "infidelity" (download it -- it may make you feel better).

Apparently affairs, like divorce, are pretty rampant. Here are stats I remembered from it that are mind blowing:
-1 in 2 marriages now end in Divorce
- 60 % of men in a marriage have an affair
- 40 % of women in a marriage have an affair ( a rising numberthese days as you suspect)
- & when the two numbers are are added up -- 80% of ALL marriages have 1 partner that has had an affair!!!

So your situation is far from uncommon. And marriages affected by one can definitely work again (though the trust factor is the hard one to build back up).

My husband and I have been together 16 years(dating and a decade later married) since college. Personally, I don't believe in cheating. Back when dating we made a pact that if either of us wanted to be with someone else, we'd hold off and let the other one know - out of respect - so we could break up and the other could leave with some dignity.

And while I am a "good girl" I do have girlfriends who have had affairs or was the one who was the other woman multiple times. And they too were "good girls".
So it all really is the luck of the draw.
Sorry it happened to you. But you are far from alone.

Answer 3

My husband had an affair after 18 years of marriage. He wasn't sorry and he left me for her. She had been married at the time and broke up her family, too. 8 years later he finally found out that he was one of 4 men she had on her string. He was made a fool of and didn't know she was seeing the others. She was a good example of once a cheater always a cheater. He has just remarried. I give it 7 years at most before he starts to cheat again.

Answer 4

I guess it depends on what you call an affair...I have close close frinds on the internet...does this mean Im having an affair...If an affair has to be something physical then..well you know what I mean...I think that there are a lot of ppl out there who have something else going on the side..but maybe they dont put the same labels on it as we would..

Answer 5

You probably would have limited yourself if you had ask how many haven't had extramarital affairs. The number you are asking for is astronomical...

Answer 6

I don't think it matters if you are male or female. If you are unhappy you will stray. There has to be good communication in order for people to stay happy. When there is no communication, they tend to look for a partner who will communicate on there level.

Answer 7

i have never had an affair but my best friend has and her husband still does not know.....i know that she is repentant and hasn't seen him for 3 years now, but it still seems weird that he'll never know the truth.......good question.

Answer 8

if you send us your email address - i will email you back with my thoughts.