How do u talk to a friend that's doing things that u totally disagree with but be nice at the same time?

Question

She's going through things that alot of females go through at our age (19) but she's handling it different from what i've ever seen

Answer 1

It depends on what it is that she is doing, if it is something that can be perceived as self destructive, ie drugs, drinking too much, being overly promiscous, developing eating disorder behaviors, etc or something that is hurtful to others, you need to talk to her if you really care about her. These are some of many ineffective and destructive, disruptive coping methods that make situations worse instead of better. People use these subconsiously to deal with issues they may have had in the past that they have never addressed or issues they are currently trying to work through including just trying to get through day to day stuff. If people do not learn adequate coping skills as they grow up, and then hit a difficult time, they don't know how to deal with and work through the issues and feelings they are experiencing, therefore it is human nature to just deal with it in whatever way possible. Like I said, if you were never taught appropriate ways to cope you are going to usually resort to an unhealthy way. It isnt a conscience decision usually, it is just what happens. Just being that age is difficult, you have freedom you didnt have before, maybe a new job or college, new difficult decisions as well as financial and or emotional stress that comes along with growing up and becoming your own person. You need to have a serious talk with her, let her know what you are seeing and how you feel and how if affects you and your friendship with her, just knowing you care may be all she needs to make a change for a better. And if it is a serious issue involve her family if they are supportive and urge her to seek a therapy if possible to work through the things she is going through and learn more effective and healthier ways to cope with the difficulties that growing up and life in general brings, but the most important thing is that you communicate with her, in a non confrontational way, just let her know you are concerned and not that you are judging her, and if you have suggestions of how to deal with issues differently share them with her. I wish you and her the best, even though this is a difficult age to be it is also exciting and fun, but it is very important to develop healthy responsible behaviors at the same time so that you have a balanced life and are creating a good future for yourself and laying the foundation you need to reach your goals. That is why it is so important that your friend addressthe issues that probably underlie her behaviors, and do something about them and the inappropriate behaviors now, becuase the ramifications can last a lifetime depending on what she is doing, that is why it is critical to talk to her and let her know, again that you arent judging you are just worried and want to see if she needs some support etc. Good luck.

Answer 2

Just be subtle. Don't set out to give her advice, but drop subtle hints when you see something going wrong. For instance, if she says that she had sex with two guys in the backseat of a car at a club, say something like, "Girl, thats crazy. You had better be careful." A statement like that lets her know that you dont agree with her actions. If she is your friend, she will take note that she has done something that you disagree with. As her friend, it isnt your job to judge her or tell her "I told you so". Just let her do her thing and be there for her when goes off and does just that, but ends up F**ing everything up.

Answer 3

tell her you are her friend and worried about what she is going through, and stay away from the friend while she is doing it. also depends on what she is doing

Answer 4

Let her keep being a s.lut. She'll learn eventually. How do I know she's being generous with her body you ask? Because I'm ******** awesome! *Slap* Thought you knew.

Answer 5

Well, it really depends on what it is and how close you two are, but be gentle but be honest. "I'm worried about you" kind of thing.

Answer 6

Explain to her/him that you don't like the fact that they are doing these things.

Answer 7

Be honest. Tht's wht friends are for...tell her in person

Answer 8

you should be more clear with her try to talk the truth your feelings to her... if she dont .... try to make her felt ignored 4 a moment.... sometimes it works.... but think about it...

Answer 9

dont talk at all just look and listen

Answer 10

Talk to her about it!!! maybe she will explain the reason why!!!!