My Daughter and Back-to-School Shopping?

Question

I have a young teenage daughter who (like many other teens) are concerned with looking "cool" and "in style". With back to school coming up soon, she is pressuring me into buying her outfits from expensive stores like Abercrombie&Fitch, American Eagle, etc. I think it is ridiculous to spend so much on clothes, but I DO want her to fit in, I remember how important looks are at that age. How much should I give her to shop?

I'm worried that this will continue on every year if I give her hundreds of dollars. It's just not in my budget to spend hundreds of dollars on clothes every year. Especially because her younger twin sisters are starting to look up to her and I'm afraid in a year or two I will have to spend three times as much

Answer 1

Look, i was never given a huge amount of money and told to shop. my parents taught me the importance of a dollar. my family isnt filthy rich, so the way i used to shop at her age was with my parents. My mom would take me to a store like TJ maxx or JC penney's and we'd pick out things together. we'll also look around malls for sales and discounts. that way i could find stuff i like for cheap. Trust me, you will teach her a valuable lesson on money. i never owned really expensive clothing, and i survived. I still cringe at price tags in certain stores. now that i earn my own money and buy my own stuff, i still tend to go for cheaper clothes and sales, i can get more that way! and trends will fade, tell her not to worry about trends and just go for pieces she likes.
i really wouldnt suggest just giving her money and letting her loose, what she will do is go to those exact stores you mentioned and buy a couple of expensive things. then she will go home and complain about not having enough clothes and guilt-trip you into giving her more money. im not a parent but i can imagine that it must be hard to deny your child of "coolness" and popularity, but they'll grow out of it. this wont be such a big deal to her in a few years if you set her straight. if you dont, she'll forever be obsessed with material things and won't be good with her money.
i survived without abercrombie, so can she

good luck!

Answer 2

You could try several things here.

1. Make her pay you back by household chores and sacrificing what allowance she's gets for doing them. If she gets $20 a week, then take at least half of it until the bill is paid. She'll have to forego outings and things because of lack of money. I bet she'll be more picky about her clothing if she has to pay for it.

2. Discount stores are a good place to find trendy and stylish clothing without paying retail. TJ Maxx, Marshall's, Ross, Target, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, outlet stores, consignment shops, flea markets, or even eBay are good places to look. Try clearance racks at your local stores too.

3. Let her spend a set amount. Then make her choose between the fashionable stores and brands and get only a few pieces, or go to a less expensive store and get a wider variety of things. If she ends up with 2 pair of jeans and 3 tops, and nothing else, then tell her she has to earn the money for more clothing. In the mean time, she suffers with old clothing in her closet and the few things that she bought.

I wouldn't give her more than you can afford to spend. Don't put yourself into debt just so she can look "cool". If you think that $200 is an amount that you can spend, then make that the set amount. Don't let her have your credit cards, instead give her cash. That way she knows when she's at her limit.
Remember, you are the mom; she is the child. You set the rules, it's up to you to enforce them.

As for the twins, when they are old enough to worry about clothing, your daughter will be old enough to contribute to her expenses with some form of a job. Babysitting, yard work, shoveling snow, etc... for neighbors is a start if she's responsible enough now.

Answer 3

I'm in high school right now, so I understand how important it is to wear the right clothes, and to fit in with every one else. I always prefer to shop at Abercrombie and American Eagle rather than cheaper stores, but they are very expensive sometimes. What my mom usually does with me is, I am allowed to get a few things from a name brand store, like one pair of jeans, a sweater, and a shirt or two. If you look on the clearance racks inside the store, or search for sale items, buying a few things won't cost that much money. Once I get a couple things I like from the expensive stores, I buy the rest of my clothes at cheaper stores. That way, I'm happy, and my mom doesn't have to spend so much money on clothes.

Answer 4

Abercrombie and American Eagle aren't THAT expensive. Shirts can be bought for only $20 - not all but some. Look on the clearance racks and at sales. If she would rather have 5 American Eagle shirts than 10 walmart shirts - then let her. She is at an age where people judge you first by your appearance and your clothes. My mom used to dress me until I was about 12 and it was brutal. It took me several years to figure out how to "fit in" and even now in college I think I still don't dress right.

Also try Hollister it's owned by American Eagle (or is it Abercrombie) and I got several shirts there for really cheap - A $7 shirt that was on clearance - and a nice polo shirt for $20 that I wear all the time for work and class.

Answer 5

Well... I do chores around the house for an allowance (didn't have enough time this summer for a job, unfortunately)... and have learned how to save when there's something I really want. Besides that, my parents might give me a little extra for the staples (although I've reached the point where I no longer out grow clothes, so a shirt or two, and maybe a couple pairs of jeans, and I'm good).

As much as I'd rather they just shower me with money, I do realize that it makes a lot more sense this way (which is not to say that I don't beg and bargain my way into getting as much as I can with as little cost to me as possible, but I'm a teenager, what do you expect?). I'm assuming your daughter is a teen as well, or somewhere near that area, so she should be able to earn her own money, either through a job (a lot of my friends babysit, but I'm not very good with kids) or through chores, and she should learn to be responsible enough to save for the more expensive things that you won't buy her.

Ok... sometimes I get sentences jumbled, so I'm sorry if parts of that didn't make sense, but I think you get the idea.

Answer 6

I tell my daughter that I will buy her a few pieces at a specialty store, but she must get the rest of her clothes from a discount store like Target. She understands that we are not a rich family and that we choose to spend our money on clothes wisely. This is great preparation for the future. Have a few splurges and get deals on the rest.

Answer 7

I usually outfit my kids back to school clothes on a budget of $500.00 per child. That includes shoes, sneakers, lightweight jacket, new socks, tights, underpants, clothes, etc...
Let her get some cool staples at those expensive places - maybe a pricier jacket and a few expensive jeans and then she can supplement with pieces from Old Navy, H&M and even Target.
Good luck!

Answer 8

About 1-200 hundred. Wet Seal has nice clothes. pacsun sometimes has nice clothes buckle, charlotte russe. most of those stores are a little on the cheaper side. also, a great place is tilly's. they've got backpacks there as well. also, abercrombie isn't that in style any more. that's coming from a lot of people that i know who are big on fashion. also from myself. many ppl are wearing AE right now

Answer 9

I'm 13 & I loveee A&F, Hollister, & AE. They're not that expensive really .. at least your daughter doesn't like Prada & Juicy stuff lol. But my mom gives me about $1000-$1500 dollars per school year for clothes. I don't think you should give your daughter quite that much for clothes b.c of the younger sisters looking up to her but at least $500 is probably acceptable. I mean it sounds like a lot at once.. but think about eating out & gas & groceries.. you probably spend waaay over that per week w.o even thinking about it. This is a once-per-year thing. & your daughter will wear the nice clothes muchhh more b.c they are cuter & higher quality then like Old Navy & Target stuff. If you make her purchase things there she'll want a new wardrobe by Christmas!!! But I don't know what you're budget is or anything so.. do whatever you think is best I guess.

But you do sound like a cool mom for thinking of how important fitting in is to teens today.. alot of parents wouldn't even consider how kids want to fit in & dress cute!!! =]

Hugs && Kisses
♥ Abby ♥

Answer 10

Back to school shopping shouldn't cost alot, theres always bargins, and discounts and sales, tell your daughter that you are only willing what you think is fair and nessicary to spend without hurting your budget... also shopping around helps locate those cool new unique items of clothing that she may enjoy, i remember that looking great didn't always have to cost that much, and these days name brands are comming down in price so it shouldn't be all that hard.