I have been married to my husband for 10yrs but with him for a total of 18yrs.....I'm dying...he's driving me crazy and I wonder why I got married in the first place! What am I going to do? I am 38yr and he is 42yr...We still have sex 3-4 times a week but we can't be any more creative than we already are! What do we do now?
2006-08-25 15:53:56 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well me and my wife have been together for 20 years married and six years going steady, around the 18 to 19 years of being together we realized that we had come full circle with our sex and were becoming board. we experimented and pretty soon found lots of things that turned us on even more than we were before. dont worry just keeping plugging away and life will get better.
2006-08-25 17:00:16 · answer #1 · answered by mark d 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been married longer than you , but was a surrogate for an organization that helps couples such as yourselves.
There are many things you may never have known. I can not answer over this forum. too many kids. there are many bocks on the subject and many games. The important thing is not to have a routine. The most exciting sex is in the mind. Mind sex is the ultimate equalizer.
It is said that sex is only 10% of a marriage, True if the sex is good. It's 90 % when not. even though your marriage should not be based on this. Seek help. It's not to be found here.
2006-08-25 23:10:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind yourself why you first fell in love with him for starters. It sounds like it's been 18 years of the same old routine. Don't let it be. Every day you wake up is another chance to try something different. And you should, because if you don't, this resentment you have will cause you two to start leading separate lives. Things tend to fall apart from there. It'll 18 yrs with my husband in March. Like all couples we've had our fair share of ups and downs. One thing I've learned over time was that there is humor in everything....yes, everything...because things could always be worse, and no matter how bad it is, there is going to be a time five years down the road where you are going to reflect on life as it is and chuckle. I know you are irritated with the hubby, and I completely understand, men are weird creatures. But find one thing you still love about him and focus on that. In a week, find another thing, same thing in yet another week. Once you have those things in mind, it'll be easier for you to find the ways to keep it together and spice it up. The way I see it, is that if you look for the bad, you're gonna find it, but if you look for the good, you'll find that too.
2006-08-25 23:10:21 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
38-10= 28...well thats not that young, but you probably hadnt dated too many other dudes before.
My parents have been married for 38 years, they get along well with each other, but my mom has told me at some points she didnt see how she could continue with my dad...i will vouch for her that he can be an extremely difficult person to deal with. What is there secret? I can see that they still enjoy doing things together, the lame, boring everyday things that we take for granted, like going to church, or going to eat, even if it is just to a greasy little dinner, or whatever.
I guess they really do like each other, but they also have old school values.
I would suggest some time ALONE with each other where you can talk about how you feel. Even if you go to the local motel 6, i think it would be beneficial
2006-08-25 23:01:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married for 27 years. I am assuming that you are unsatisfied with your sex life. I know this sounds contrite but unless you are willing to have a discussion with each other nothing will change. But for a start you can try and surprise him with different lingerie or different times for sex. Also advise him of your desire to be more willing to experience other sexual experiences. Maybe by buying different sex aids or printed material after discussing the options with him. Go the extra step first other than waiting on him to do so. He might also be dissatisfied but not have the knowledge on how to discuss the issue. Also there are many other options that you can consider, after the initial discussion. Sexual aids, sex games, books, videos, etc. Good luck.
2006-08-25 23:03:29 · answer #5 · answered by Glenn M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you tried some lovers games?
you can buy board games for lovers at stores like spencers or your basic sex toy stores. Those can be a lot of fun.
I personally don't like porn so we read erotic stories out loud to one another. My husband will call from our house phone to my cell phone and talk dirty to me... drives me crazy!! It's like getting a welcome obscene phone call. Just little things like that keep it going for us. we've been married for 21 years. I'm 41 and he's 42. Always a good time.
2006-08-25 23:03:41 · answer #6 · answered by mylady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
23 years.
2006-08-25 22:59:06 · answer #7 · answered by Ray 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its time to get away on your own for a few days. Take a trip. Absence of each other always helps a lot.
2006-08-25 22:57:29 · answer #8 · answered by fullofsunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absence makes the heart grow fonder!Take a little trip alone,maybe to a relatives and pamper yourself!
2006-08-25 23:01:45 · answer #9 · answered by iluvsunsets 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, I'm a newly wed, only married for almost 3 months, but I'll get there eventually.
but I think you should spice up your sex life, by doing it somewhere else, or buy a sex game, something like that.
2006-08-25 22:57:13 · answer #10 · answered by superboredom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋