My boyfriend (7 years) totaled his motorcycle today. My first reaction was to be angry. It wasn't his fault, but I feel like things like this always happen to him. He got scraped/scratched/cut up pretty bad - could of been fatal if he didn't have on his helmet. I didn't sympathize with him ---- I instead acted pissed. Now I feel bad ---- but I am still angry because he has spent almost $10,000 on a bike that is ruined & is now permanently in the junkyard (no, it will not be fixed/covered by insurance.) Plus, he still has to finish paying $2,000 or so off on it! Anyways, I am kind of torn between the anger I have over his irresponsibility & wanting to express thanks that he is still alive!!! I feel like I kind of acted like a B****. But then again, I kind of feel like I didn't, because he gets into situations like this where he is throwing money away, more than he should. Any thoughts?
2006-08-25 15:47:24 · 11 answers · asked by BB 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I suppose the underlying issue is that he is neglectful with money - he wants me to marry him, but I won't until he becomes more responsible in that area. I love him to pieces, but I am waiting for him to grow up (we are in our early-mid 20's) & act responsible with the little money he has. I suppose that is the real issue I should be dealing with...
2006-08-25 16:02:38 · update #1
I can understand how you feel. My boyfriend of three years spent $2000 on a custom, top-of-the line PC a couple of years ago, and he assured me that it was a good investment because he thought that it would last for several years. Now we are trying to save money to move in together (I just finished school and got a job), and he tells me that he needs to sell the PC...for only $800...so he can by a Mac. I'm hurt because now he wants to put several hundred dollars into a new "investment". I feel totally angry at him, but at the same time the reason I am angry is b/c I want to live with him soon. As for your situation, I think you should let your boyfriend know that you are releaved and happy that he is allright, but try to talk about his reckless spending so that he can understand why you're so upset in the first place. Let him know you want him to be more responsible, but at the same time remind him you love him, that way it won't seem like you are nagging. Good luck.
2006-08-25 16:03:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
God love you. Wait until he's been riding one for 28 years. My old man is a biker, he has had two Harley Davidson's. The first time he ever laid that bike down I was so damn mad at him I didn't know how to express myself. I understand your feelings exactly. It's a mixture of thank God he's alive and how could he be so stupid!! I will tell you this, I ride with him now (we have a big cruiser) and he is much more careful at 46 than he was at 18. Also, people in cars are not at all aware of the bikers around them. His wreaks have been because some one in a car wasn't looking and pulled out in front of him or changed lanes on him when he was beside them on the Hwy. I don't know your situation but if he's into motorcycles the chances are he won't give them up as a result of this. It's a hard thing to have to learn to live with. I will tell you this after all these years I still breathe a sigh of relief and say a thank-you to God every time I hear that Harley pull into the driveway. You never get used to it, you just learn to accept it. But your reaction was a natural one so don't be too hard on yourself.
2006-08-25 15:58:06 · answer #2 · answered by Only hell mama ever raised 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you just answered your own question. The underlying issue is that you want your relationship to go forward, and then he does something that puts him in deeper. You are wise to wait. Have him straighten out his mess now...and hmmm...not a bad idea to go to a financial counselor to go over the over B word...budget.
2006-08-25 19:32:59 · answer #3 · answered by Marilyn C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you guys live together or your saving money together for something he can do what he wants with his money.
If you live together he needs to get a safer less expensive hobby.
I think it would bother me more about the dangerous aspect of his bike riding.
2006-08-25 15:55:04 · answer #4 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love the man but hate the behaviour.
You may also be excited by his bad boy actions.
Only you can decide if he is who you really want to be with. His behaviour is unlikely to change. Is he worth his transgressions?
2006-08-25 16:03:01 · answer #5 · answered by Dennis Fargo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you don't love him if you are thinking about the money rather than him.
2006-08-25 15:56:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is your boyfriend not your husband. He can spend his money on whatever he wants - even if you think it's foolish.
And your first concern should have been for him.
2006-08-25 15:50:38 · answer #7 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your first concern should of been for him espeacially if you love him. Things although expensive, can replaced but he couldnt and you should think about that.
2006-08-25 15:54:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be lucky he's alive. That's just material things. Mistakes happen.
2006-08-25 15:57:37 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it wasn't his fault why is his bike not covered. as for your actions explain yourself
2006-08-25 15:51:08 · answer #10 · answered by cwgrlmeiniowa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋